Are Birds Free from the Chains of the Skyway?
by Jaqs
Summary: What if, in the aftermath of the Incident the Losties were sent back to flight 815, but Juliet back to an equally pivotal point in her life?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, wouldn't still be a poor student if it was.

Notes: Amazed at all the wonderful Suliet fics out there. Like most I'm refusing to believe she's dead and they're done so here is my humble offering to add to them to get me through the next 9 months. I'm working on the premise of what fluff might happen if the Losties were sent back to the flight, but Juliet to an equally pivotal point in her life. Not much mythology to be found here, as of yet. I've got 3 or 4 chapters at least thought out so far, but ultimately no idea where all this might take me! So please join me on my journey, I'd be most pleased to have you!

Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine and mine alone. Oh and most of this first chapter is verbatim from Not In Portland. Didn't want to mess _too much_ with perfection.

**Are Birds Free from the Chains of the Skyway?**

Chapter 1

"Come on!!!"

The jolt of pain that seared through her with each hit of the rock should have been enough to knock her out, but it didn't. Hell, the fall should have killed her, but it didn't. With every ounce of strength her battered and bruised soul had left, she refused to give in. This wasn't going to be in vain. If this damn island demanded her sacrifice, she wasn't going to give up without a fight. It would end with a bang - not a whimper. Not if detonating this bomb could somehow erase his cries of anguish when she let him go. In those last few seconds she knew she had it wrong, that he did love her enough and that he would have followed her down if she would have let him.

So if seeing this through meant the slightest chance that all this would never happen and his flight would land safely in LA; that he would never have to suffer any of the pain this place had brought him, she would pound that nuke until her last breath. For that, she would gladly sacrifice.

"COME ON, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

:::Flash:::

August 2001 – Miami Police Department Morgue

The grief took hold and all she could do was put her face in her hands and weep. Weep for the man she once fell in love with, for the man he became and for the guilt she felt at finally being free.

"Tissue?"

"Thank you. Thanks." Taking the offered tissue she wiped her eyes and looked up, expecting a cop or morgue worker; she instead met the eyes of a sympathetic stranger in a suit.

"Have we met?" He was looking at her expectantly as if he knew her and there was something oddly familiar about him that she couldn't quite place. Maybe he was a friend or colleague of Edmund's. Glancing to the side she saw her interviewer from earlier and stood up in confusion.

"Dr Burke."

"Mr Alpert?"

"I'm ah… so sorry for your loss."

"What are you doing here?"

"I saw what happened on the news and your office said you were down here. I just wanted to express my condolences in person, before I went back up to Portland. This is Ethan – he's one of my colleagues."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." She automatically shook the other man's proffered hand, but couldn't return the smile as an uncomfortable feeling settled upon her. Her mind uneasily replayed the events of earlier and it suddenly clicked into place why they were here.

"He was hit by a bus…"

"I know, they say you were there when it happened. You must have been…"

"No! No, in, in…" She stumbled over her words as she felt stick to her stomach. "In our interview…I said that I… I said that I wanted… I wanted him to get hit by a bus."

"Dr Burke, I realise that you are a little shook up right now, but this is just a tragic accident, you can't blame yourself. I don't even remember you saying that." Looking first into his and then his companion's eyes, she knew they understood her meaning and she feared that she was right. She glanced down and took a calming breath, wanting nothing more than for them to leave her alone.

"Why are you here Mr Alpert?"

"Look ah, I know that the timing is horrible, but we came because we're that serious about getting you to come work for us."

Her breath caught as he gave voice to her fears. She didn't know what to say.

"Just give us six months. If you need to you can be back before your sister gives birth."

"How did you know that my…"

"Oh we're very thorough in our recruitment process," he interrupted with a wry smile.

His knowledge of her sister was the final straw. She looked away and considered what he was asking. While their offer was certainly tempting and if it was just her she might have considered it, she didn't trust them and couldn't reconcile with the fear this conversation had instilled in her. If she was right and they were somehow involved in Edmund's death, who knew what else they were capable of? She couldn't leave Rachel and she didn't trust them near her. Also a weird sense of foreboding that she couldn't quite explain was telling her that nothing good would come from accepting this job. She took a deep breath, straightened her back and shoulders and looked Alpert in the eye.

"I thank you for your time Mr Alpert. Your offer and persistence is very flattering but I'm afraid I can't accept. With my sister's health and now Edmund's... death," she swept her arm around the room to illustrate her point, before wearily raising a hand to her now throbbing forehead. "I'm afraid I have to decline."

He stared at her long and hard for a few seconds and as the silence dragged on she started to think he wasn't going to accept her refusal. As she was frantically trying to think of something else to say, he finally opened his mouth.

"Very well," he sighed in resignation. "Thank you for your time Dr Burke and once again my condolences for your loss. You have my card if you should change your mind." With that he nodded once to his companion and they silently turned on their heels, leaving without a backward glance.

With the swinging shut of the door, the adrenaline that had been coursing her veins dissipated and she slumped back onto the stool she had previously occupied. She covered her face once more with her hands and wept.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Early December 2001

With a weary sigh, Sawyer stretched his arms over his head and glanced over to the slumbering redhead lying next to him in bed. His latest mark, he'd now invested over two months in her and truth be told he kinda liked her. A sweet and attractive girl in her late twenties, her one failing was marrying her college sweetheart; a man who had subsequently turned into a successful financier and neglectful yet controlling husband. Letting her own career ambitions and friends fall by the wayside, after seven years of marriage the role of bored trophy wife did not sit well with her. Yet, her isolation and dependence on him had left her trapped and too scared to take a stand and leave him.

It was a textbook story and all too easy for Sawyer to enter the picture with his dimples and full blown charm offensive. A few contrived meetings was all it took to spark her interest and after two months of providing her with the attention and affection she craved, the stage was set for him to fleece that son-of-a-bitch for all he had. With her husband on an extended business trip in New York, he'd talked her into coming with him to Las Vegas for a dirty weekend while he did a spot of 'business' with an associate. Tomorrow he'd make his move and 'accidentally' let her see his briefcase of cash and it would be plain sailing from there. A textbook play he'd run on dozens of similar women over the years.

So why was he suddenly suffering from an attack of guilt and finding it so damn hard to sleep? They'd been holed up in this hotel room since noon and after all that _afternoon delight_ he should be sparked out like his companion by now. After all he wasn't getting any younger.

Suppressing another sigh, he eased out of bed gently so as not to wake her, and pulled on boxers and a t-shirt. Glancing once more to the sleeping form behind him, he shook his head and padded over to the window to scowl out at the neon tapestry laid out before him. Sure, he'd had attacks of conscience before but he'd always shrugged them off with the thought that he only took from bastards who deserved it and women who craved the thrill he provided. On paper this case was no different to the others. So why did he feel so damn guilty? Why was it when he closed his eyes all he could see was his mother's disapproving gaze?

He turned back from the window and caught sight of the bedside clock. It was only a little after 10.30pm – Las Vegas was barely waking up for the night. He needed a drink. As silently as he could he found the rest of his clothes and pulled them on, grabbed his wallet then headed for the door. Hand on the doorknob, he hesitated for a second before turning about and headed over to the small bureau by the wall. He scribbled a note explaining he couldn't sleep, had headed downstairs for a drink and wouldn't be long. He didn't want her waking up and coming to find him; that was the last thing he needed. That done, he looked back at the bed one final time before silently closing the door behind himself.

Bypassing the casino floor he ambled passed a crowded and raucous conference room done up to the nines. The sign outside read "American Medical Association: Annual Fertility and Obstetrics Awards". He chuckled and shook his head as he headed by. Damn drunk doctors. There'll be tears before bedtime. Maybe he should stick around to catch the floor show. He rounded the corner and found himself in a relatively small and quiet lounge bar. Looking around he spotted a handful of drunk men in suits waving about cigars and by the looks of it trying to drink each other under the table in a booth along the wall, a middle aged couple flirting over frothy cocktails in another, a few single men dotted about the room staring into their drinks or laptop screens and an elegantly dressed blonde reading a magazine perched at the bar.

Perfect. A nice quiet drink was what he needed and it didn't look like anyone would be disturbing him in here. He sauntered up to the bar, signalled the bored looking bartender to fetch him a beer and sat at a stool three down from the blonde woman. A quick glance at her showed that she hadn't appeared to notice him sitting down, she was totally engrossed in whatever she was reading – the latest fashion magazine he guessed. The arrival of his beer interrupted his musings and he looked away from her.

"Thanks, man," he nodded his appreciation to the bartender and took a long swig from the bottle before setting it back down on the bar and started picking at the label.

He needed to think this through and talk himself out of any reservations he was having or else cut his losses and walk away now, whilst time was all he would be wasting. A flicker of movement to his right caught his attention and he turned his head to catch the woman tilt her wineglass to take a long sip, spotting the glint of a wedding ring on her hand. Drawn in, his gaze slowly travelled down her slender arm to take the rest of her in properly. She'd returned to her reading and he was far enough away not to fear getting caught. Dressed in a flattering black cocktail dress that showed off her long legs, with flawless skin and long blonde hair pulled up into a loose bun, there was much for him to admire. Her beauty was understated and elegant and he surmised that given her total obliviousness to her surroundings, she could knock a guy for six with one glance and not even notice. Whatever kind of husband left her alone at night in a Las Vegas bar reading a magazine must be a fool. With any luck he was a rich fool and she was a gullible airhead.

Maybe his instinct to cut and run was right and fate had led him straight to his next target. At the very least it was worth a shot and he had nothing to lose. With one last tilt she had finished her glass and signalled the bartender for another. He saw his opening and slid off his stool and towards her.

"Allow me to get that, and another beer please."

She looked across at him with startled blue eyes and for a split-second he had a hard time breathing. His charm quickly kicked in however and he gave her a broad smile.

"I just couldn't stand idly by and see a pretty lady drinking all on her own in Vegas. It's criminal. May I?" he indicated to the stool beside hers.

She gave him a quizzical smile in return and he could tell by the way she sized him up she wasn't buying it. Just as he thought he'd struck out however, her smile widened and she nodded in acquiescence.

"Sure. Why not?" She flicked her magazine closed as he sat and he caught sight of the cover.

_Nature: Genetics_. Ah. Maybe not an airhead after all.

It was too late to make a retreat though, he'd committed himself and sat down by now. Ah hell, he thought, in for a penny…

"I'm Juliet." She caught him off guard. Maybe it was her eyes, or her smile, but before he knew it he'd done the unthinkable:

"James."

"Nice to meet you James, thanks for the drink." There was that smile again, though it was quickly followed by a look of puzzlement. "Do I know you from somewhere? You seem very familiar…"

"Don't think so darlin'. I'm pretty sure I'd remember that face" He drawled. She rolled her eyes slightly in response before reaching for her wineglass. Note to self, he thought, ditch the lines. "Sorry," he tried again, his voice softer, "Bad habit. But I really don't think we've met before."

She glanced back at him and smiled and he could tell he was forgiven. "That's ok, guess you must just remind me of someone."

"So, corny lines aside, what are you doing all dressed up and alone in here on a Friday night?"

Before she could answer him, however, a couple of guys in tuxes had approached the bar behind her and one of them leaned over to butt in.

"Is this cowboy hassling you, Dr Burke?" She flashed him an apologetic smile before turning to address them while he slid off his stool and glared at them over her shoulder. Who did this punk think he was? He'll give 'em cowboy.

"Thanks Dave, but I'm fine, really." The interloper didn't look convinced however and shifted his gaze from her to Sawyer. The menacing look he was faced with gave him pause for a second but knowing it was two to one bolstered his confidence and he stood his ground.

"Are you sure? Everyone's been wondering where you had gotten to. Dr Harris especially has been asking after you. I can go fetch him for you." Whilst addressing Juliet, his eyes never left Sawyer's. Sensing the tension and that the situation could easily escalate, she reached over and placed a hand on her colleague's arm to placate him and gain his attention.

"Honestly Dave, I'm _fine_. I'm a big girl. I appreciate your concern though, both of you," she looked over and nodded at the still silent companion. "It was too stuffy and crowded in there and I needed to get out for a while. You can tell Harris I'll be back in a bit. Please." She finished with a reassuring smile and Dave visibly relaxed before relenting. He gathered his drink from the bar and took a step back.

"Ok. Well you know where we are if you need us Dr Burke."

"That I do, thanks."

With one last nod and a glare to a still silent Sawyer, the two men departed and headed back into the conference room. She turned back towards Sawyer in embarrassment.

"I'm so sorry about that. Overprotective research assistants, what can you do huh?"

"Don't worry about it," he shrugged. "I could have taken them," He grinned, pretending he wasn't being serious.

"I don't doubt it," she smiled back archly, and right there Sawyer knew the game was up. This was no mark. She'd handled those guys so effectively, he didn't doubt she could run rings around him if she wanted to. He could retreat now, use the bodyguards as a convenient excuse, but he found that he didn't want to. She had intrigued him like no-one had in a long while and found that he wanted to keep talking to her. So she wasn't a target to be played, but hell he deserved a night off and a drink with a beautiful woman. No agenda and no strings attached.

So he sat back down and took a drink of his beer.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Doctor, huh?" He asked with a sideways glance, "Guess that explains the reading material," he added, alluding to the journal on the bar.

"Yeah," she admitted with a self-deprecating shrug of her shoulders, "Fertility. Research mostly, at Miami Central."

"Impressive." His eyes caught on her wedding ring once more, causing him to wonder about it. He realised that asking about it might bring a premature end to their conversation, but his curiosity got the best of him. "So this Harris guy who's been looking for you, your husband? He ok with you out here drinking with a hick like me?"

For a brief second she stiffened and he thought he'd blown it. She looked down at her ring in slight confusion as if she'd forgotten it was there, then back up to ruefully meet his eyes.

"No. Harris is my boss – the Dean. No my husband…"she paused and shook her head slightly, "ex-husband died a few months ago. He was hit by a bus." Holding out her left hand and scrutinising her ring she continued softly, more to herself than to him, "Guess I wear it out of habit more than anything - possibly guilt. For all his faults he didn't deserve to die like that."

She suddenly looked so sad and vulnerable, he hated himself for bringing it up and causing her pain; a rare emotion for him. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't blame yourself though. It's not like you pushed him, right?"

Juliet nearly laughed at the irony of how close to the truth he was. She would always feel to blame for Edmund's death for voicing her bitter resentment that day. But this guy didn't need to know that, he was probably already regretting buying her a drink.

"You're right, I'm being silly. Anyway… he wasn't just my ex, he was my superior at work as well. Truth be told, that's why I'm hiding out here – couldn't handle any more people offering me their fake condolences." She tossed him a wry smile, "He wasn't a very nice man."

She let out a shaky laugh and tried to compose herself and his heart melted. Taking a deep breath and sip of her wine, she continued, "Enough of me, I'm sure you didn't come over to hear about my screwed up life. Tell me about you – what do you do?"

"Insurance salesman," he replied without missing a beat. His honestly could only extend so far tonight. "Not exactly on a par with creating life, but I got your back when the worst happens. Shame I never got to meet that husband of yours before his accident. Would have made sure you were well taken care of."

"How do you know I wasn't?"

"Were you?"

She raised an eyebrow in response, "Now that's a bit personal don't you think?" He briefly worried that he'd gone too far, but she leaned closer and with deadpan delivery continued, "I got his job."

Her candour surprised him and he let out a deep laugh. She'd have been blind not to notice how handsome he was when he approached her, but with his eyes shining and dimples on display, she was suddenly struck by how boyish he looked. She couldn't help but chuckle along with him.

"It's sad how it came about and I can't help but feel some guilt, but I can't lie; it's great to have the autonomy and freedom to pursue my own research now and not just his." She narrowed her eyes slightly in thought. "Hmm… here we are talking about me again. Smooth James, very smooth."

He raised his hands in mock surrender, the picture of innocence. "I swear that wasn't intentional! Can't help it if you're self involved can I?" He grinned slyly at her indignant look. "Seriously though, not much to tell. Born in Jasper, Alabama, my parents died when I was young. Dropped out of high school and became a bit of a drifter. I travel a lot with my job, which suits me. Pretty much it in a nutshell." What on earth had possessed him to mention his parents? Damn, he was blabbing like a girl.

"I'm sorry about your parents. That must have been rough".

He shrugged in response. At least she hadn't asked what happened, who knows what he might have said next. He had to watch it, this was getting too close for comfort. Was she a shrink as well as an MD?

"My uncle took me in, wasn't so bad," he lied. He needed to change the subject, and fast. "So, win any awards tonight?"

She picked up on his deliberate change of pace immediately this time, but sensing she'd hit a bit of a nerve, decided to let it slide.

"No," she replied, unable to suppress a giggle at the thought. "There's always next year, right?"

"Well you were robbed I'm sure. They obviously don't know a good thing when they see it."

"And you do?" she asked coyly.

"Damn straight!" He replied with a self satisfied nod and warm gaze. She blushed slightly and looked away, which he found adorable. Not as confident as she tried to make out, he noted. He noticed that both their drinks were nearly empty and signalled the barman for another round.

The hours quickly passed and the other patrons at the bar came and went. They fell into an easy conversation covering a whole range of topics of varying consequence. She told him more about her work and he listened in rapt fascination as she proudly talked of her sister and the miracle pregnancy. In return he shared some of the few happy memories of his childhood and made up amusing insurance anecdotes on the fly. He also managed to coax out of her more details on her failed marriage and he realised that her situation wasn't a million miles away from the woman upstairs in his hotel room. They had both married young to controlling and manipulative bastards. The only difference seemed to be that in Juliet's case it was her brain that was the trophy and he'd used her to further his own career. This realisation only served to make him feel more remorse over his current con and he decided he couldn't go on with it. There was nothing of his of any value in the hotel room, the money was fake, best to make a clean break and leave now rather than try to break it off with her. It was slightly cruel, but easiest on her in the long run.

Looking at his watch, he noted that it was nearly 3am. The bar was now deserted apart from the two of them and the barman.

"Well Blondie, looks like you've missed the rest of your party."

She glanced at her own watch, the movement causing her head to spin slightly, and was surprised that it had gotten so late. "You're right. I should probably call it a night, my flight back to Miami is in the morning." It had been a while since she'd enjoyed herself this much nor felt so at ease with someone other than her sister Rachel. Maybe it was down to the wine, but looking back up at him she had the urge to do and say something out of character for her.

"Would you like to join me?" As soon as the words left her mouth she lost her nerve and she shyly dropped her eyes down to her hands, her heart thumping wildly.

He sighed, torn and not sure how to answer. She took his silence as rejection and quickly stood up to leave in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, forget I said anything, I've had too much to drink. It was nice meeting you," she mumbled and started to walk away.

"Hey, slow down there Sunshine!" He reached out and grabbed her wrist to stop her leaving and gently propelled her back onto her stool. "Believe me there is nothing I'd like more," he continued hoarsely. "If you'd asked me that a few hours ago, I wouldn't have hesitated."

She barely heard him however, instead staring down in confusion at his hand still lightly holding onto her wrist. The moment he'd touched her, the strangest feeling had come over her. Flashes of images ran through her mind; images that she couldn't explain containing James, despite him being a stranger just a few hours previous. Watching him - battered and filthy and trapped in some cage in a jungle clearing, drinking rum on a deserted beach and waking up next to him in a small yellow clapboard house with a picket fence. Then finally she was hit with a deep sense of loss and pain, both physical and emotional. Experiences that she could have sworn were not her own, but why did they feel so real? Just how much wine had she drunk?

"Juliet?" He shook her arm to gain her attention, her eyes cloudy and incredulous when she looked back up at him. "Are you ok? You look pale. Can I get you anything, water?"

She shook her head no. "Honestly, we've never met before tonight? You're sure?"

He was confused at this sudden turn and the repetition of her previous question. "Positive. What's the matter?"

Her demeanour changed then; she put up an emotional barrier and her blue eyes turned icy cold as she snatched her arm from his grasp. "It's fine. Forget it. You don't want to sleep with me, I get it. Goodnight, James." She made a move to leave again.

"Didn't you hear what I just said? Of course I do!" The bartender looked up from his work in curiosity and Sawyer glared back at him to mind his own business.

"Then… I don't understand? What's the problem?"

"I like you. A lot. Talking to you tonight has been amazing. But I'm not a good man, Juliet. No better than that bastard of a husband you had – worse even. I screw up everything good I touch and I make damned sure I'm gone by the morning.

I've done many things in my life that I'm ashamed of. I don't want tonight to be another one. You said yourself you've had too much to drink and I'm pretty sure a part of you is still grieving. I don't want to fuck this memory up and regret it. I _will _hurt you. It's what I do."

Seeing he was in earnest, she relented and smiled softly at him. "I was only thinking one night, James. Come the morning I'd be gone too. But I can see this means a lot to you and its sweet.

I don't believe you're a bad man. You might think you are, but I know that deep down there's a good heart in there. You just have to accept it."

She reached into her purse and pulling out a business card, handed it to him before leaning over to kiss him softly on the cheek. "If you ever do, and happen to be in Miami, look me up, James." With that she gave him one last warm smile before patting him on the shoulder and headed out the bar.

"You need your head read man, for turning that down. Big time."

Sawyer's attention snapped back from the retreating blonde and turned towards the smirking barman now behind him. He looked him up and down and a slow smile spread across his face before he answered.

"Maybe… maybe not."

What this guy didn't get was that she had said she believed in him. That wasn't something he was used to hearing. Whether that belief was mistaken or not, right now he didn't care, he had to admit it felt good. It was something he could hold onto and who knows, maybe he could be a better person.

He stood and reaching for his wallet, pulled out a wad of notes, including a decent tip, and tossed them down on the bar. With a nod to the barman and a small grin to himself he turned and sauntered out of the lounge and back past the casino floor. He stopped briefly to watch the poor saps that were still there squandering their money. Lost in his own thoughts he didn't notice three suited men headed his way until they had effectively surrounded him and one of them cleared his throat.

Startled, he spun round to face them in confusion.

"Mr Ford, James Ford?"

"Depends who's asking." He replied with suspicion, looking warily at each of the men in turn.

The man flashed him an FBI badge and his stomach dropped.

"Special Agent Casper. This is Agent Daniels and Agent Simpson. We'd like to ask you a few questions regarding your relationship with a Cassidy Phillips. You're quite a hard man to track down Mr Ford. We'd appreciate if you would come with us."

Sawyer saw that he had no choice but to go with them and grudgingly nodded before following them through the lobby and out into the Las Vegas night.

So much for a fresh start.

Notes: Looking back through the Lostpedia timeline, I realise that I'm probably a few months late and he should be banged up in jail by this late in 2001, but ah well, it's the only way I could get it to work. Not sure which state he left Cassidy in, nor which one he was in prison is, I figured he'd committed enough fraud to make him a federal concern. Though I'm British, so if I have that wrong, lets just put it down to dramatic licence!

Thank you all so much for all the wonderful comments!!! Never did I imagine such a response, I'm quite the sporadic fanfic writer and so many reviews are quite unexpected, especially as many of you are writing fic that I'm hanging onto every word written! It might be longer until my next update as I've yet to start writing it, but I appreciate your hanging in there. xxx


	4. Chapter 4

Notes: Thank you everyone for the continued support and encouragement! Sorry it's taken a bit longer and this isn't too long, but I've been out celebrating my degree results so I have a good excuse! More of a placeholder this one, but it's a good healthy dose of Sawyer and I hope you all stick with it. Thanks again for all the lovely reviews :-D

**Chapter 4**

A gut-wrenching cry of anguish burst from his lungs as he felt her fingers loosen their hold on his. In the next instant she was gone, a flash of her hair, blurry through his tears, was to be his last image of her. For all he cared it could be the last thing he should ever see, for his whole world had just disappeared down that shaft. He would have jumped in after her without hesitation if only his treacherous body hadn't already given up, broken a fraction of a second before his spirit followed suit.

So he lay there slumped over the void, arm still outstretched towards where she last was. He could still feel the sensation of her hand in his but that was rapidly fading as the seconds marched mercilessly on.

He sobbed her name over and over, his only constant left.

Metal debris continued to fly past him and the drill structure above him creaked and groaned but he was oblivious to their danger. Suddenly hands were upon him, pulling him away and his brain dimly registered Jack and Kate's voices but not their words. He would have fought them off if he had any fight left. There was nothing left to fight for. He felt himself being lifted up off the structure and dragged back further and further away from her before being deposited at a safe distance.

He lay, exactly as he landed and closed his eyes to the pain only to have his mind's eye replay again that last image of her golden hair being swallowed up by the darkness. He adored her hair. He adored everything about her, right down to her condescending smirk – but he especially loved her hair. Even now, in his grief he could still feel vividly the sensation of the silken strands on his fingertips or tickling his chest as she slept. Now memories where all he would have left. A shuddering sob escaped and he murmured her name once more, not caring what anyone thought, he made no attempt to keep it in. Somewhere hovering above him he heard raised voices as Miles and Jack hurled accusations back and forth at each other.

So this is hell, he thought.

He'd lost her and was still here stuck in the damn seventies. Lost so much and gained nothing. If only he hadn't looked at Kate – though he still wasn't entirely aware that he had or why. If only he'd stood his ground and not agreed to this hair-brained scheme. If only he'd reached her sooner. Any of these and she might still be here now, not God knows how many feet under the ground. His stomach lurched and he felt sick thinking of what she must have endured before certain death. He rolled over and retched despite his stomach being empty after countless hours without food. The angry voices continued overhead.

Nothing could possibly be worse than this.

As if to taunt him, the ground started to violently shake. He opened his eyes only to be hit by a blinding white light, then nothing.

September 2004

Sawyer awoke with a start to find himself in a cramped seat and struggled to get his bearings. Just where the hell was he? He looked about and took in his surroundings: the seat and tray table in front of him and aisle to the side and it all came back to him. He was on a flight back to LA after his somewhat misguided Antipodean adventure. Biting back the taste of bile that rose in his throat at the thought of what he'd done, he looked at his watch and was surprised that he'd been asleep for so long. They should be landing fairly soon.

He would soon be back on home soil and could put this whole sorry affair behind him. This was it; he was getting out of the game. He'd killed a man – the wrong man no less. There was no coming back from that to carry on as he was without the guilt eating him up. So when he gets off the plane he's free and grateful for it. Though heaven help him, if he ever manages to find that son of a bitch Hibbs he'd beat the living crap out of him.

The plane suddenly shook with turbulence and he involuntary gripped the armrests in terror. It subsided after a few seconds and as he relaxed once more, he wondered where this fear had come from. He'd never been scared on a flight before – hell a bit of turbulence usually just made it more interesting! Shrugging it off, he closed his eyes once more and tried to think just what on earth he was going to do with himself now, he'd never done an honest day's work in his adult life. He had no qualifications and no useful skills. He guessed he could try his hand at construction or dock work as a start and take it from there.

The captain's voice over the intercom interrupted his musings to inform them that they were beginning their descent into LAX, to fasten their seatbelts and return their seats to the upright position.

Here we go. Start of the rest of his life and all that clichéd crap.

Half an hour later, the plane had safely landed without incident and people around him were starting to rise and gather their belongings. He sighed wearily and rose too, collected his bag from the overhead locker and joined the throng of impatient passengers. He was about to inch past a big curly-haired guy when the man swung a bag down from above, the momentum causing it to catch Sawyer in the gut.

"Hey watch what you're doing Jumbotron! What you got in that thing, bowling balls?" He scowled in anger. The guy turned in embarrassment and looked at him with a hurt expression for a beat before muttering an apology.

"Sorry, dude."

Sawyer couldn't explain why, but he suddenly felt ashamed at his anger and taking his frustration out on the stranger, sorry for the insensitive nickname. Scared of flying, mindful of people's feelings – this wasn't like him, what the hell was happening? He had suddenly become damn soft!

"S'ok. Don't worry about it." He muttered back, hurrying on to the exit before he could do or say something else out of character.

30 minutes later he was through immigration and had collected the rest of his luggage. As he ambled towards the entrance he thumbed through his wallet and realised that all he had was an Australian $20 bill and some loose change. He was broke, the trip to Oz had completely cleared him out and the authorities there had confiscated his dodgy credit cards. He couldn't even afford a damn cab into the city!

He kicked at his case in frustration and sank into the nearest chair, head in his hands. Just what the hell was he going to do? He ran his hands through his hair, sat back and sighed in resignation. He didn't really have much choice, the only option he could think of was to change the currency he had back into dollars and use it to scam what he could to get him back on his feet. Nothing big – just enough to tide him over.

A few days, weeks maybe. That was all it would take then he could think about turning over that new leaf…


	5. Chapter 5

Note: Slowly but surely I'm getting there, thanks again for all the encouragement!

**Chapter 5**

January 2005

Sawyer hopped off a late night trolley near Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco and cheerfully headed in the direction of his hotel. He'd just had a successful night at the card table and was in a good mood – a rare occurrence for him. He'd spent the last 3 months since returning from Australia travelling up and back down the west coast, running small time scams and now adding what he'd accumulated with tonight's winnings he figured he had enough to give all this up and make a fresh start somewhere. Just where the hell that may be he hadn't figured out yet but at least now he had a decent nest-egg to tide him over until he did.

Suddenly the heavens opened and he was soaked within seconds, having nothing heavier than a light jacket on. Picking up the pace, he dashed up the street until he came across an open bar, yanked open the door and rushed in. He just stood there, dripping in the doorway and tried to recover his breath for a few seconds before wiping his face on his sleeve and looked around to see what kind of joint he'd stumbled into. Great: a damn yuppie sports bar, TVs showing a multitude of games on every available surface. He'd bet tonight's winnings they even had them in the restrooms. The place was still fairly busy considering the lateness of the hour.

He shrugged his shoulders and figured he may as well have a drink to warm himself up while he dried off and made his way over to the bar. A large group of guys were noisily watching something on a screen at one end so he gave them a wide berth and headed to the far side of the bar where it was quieter and sat down next to an old-timer reading his newspaper.

"Bourbon, straight up," he stated and nodded to the barman and looked up to see what was on the closest TV – a college basketball game. His drink arrived and he thanked the guy before taking a sip then removed his wet jacket and draped it over the empty stool next to him.

With a sigh he slumped forward slightly over his drink and pondered his life. These last few months had been hard on him. Ever since he'd decided he wanted to go straight after getting off that plane his heart hadn't been in it, the rush just wasn't there any more and it had been strictly a means to an end. The thrill of it all had always been a big draw to him when running cons and he had thrived on the adrenaline, now it just left a bad taste in his mouth.

Picking up the glass, he downed the rest of the whiskey and signalled for another. In addition to his general misgivings, ever since he got back from his trip he had been haunted by the strangest unease and sadness. It was if something was missing from his life – something was missing and he couldn't figure out what. His life was essentially as it had always been. For want of a better explanation, he was lonely and he couldn't fathom where it was coming from or why. He'd always been a loner and that had suited him perfectly. The longest relationships he'd ever had were those six months with Cassidy and his sporadic contact with Gordy. While he would never call Gordy a friend, he had felt for and missed Cassidy until she had his ass thrown in jail.

But this was something different and it scared him.

Another sigh escaped and another shot got knocked back and refilled. Maybe this change of purpose and scenery was what he needed - an honest job and somewhere to put down roots. At the very least it was worth a shot, if it didn't work out he could always give up and move on.

The trouble was he didn't have the faintest clue where to start.

He took his wallet out his pocket and fingered the well worn note contained in it, unable to pull it out completely; assurance that it was there was enough for now. No matter where he was or what he did, his letter would remain a constant reminder of his sorry life. It would always be a part of him and straight or not, if he ever got the chance to find that son of a bitch, he'd kill him, no doubt about it. He just wasn't going to be him anymore.

The old guy next to him finished up his drink and rose to stagger his way out the door, leaving his newspaper behind on the bar. Sawyer glanced over at it in curiosity and his eyes caught on a photo just above the fold. He reached over and grabbed it to take a better look, noting that the top of the page proclaimed it to be the science section. The picture was of a thirty-something blonde woman at a podium, smiling somewhat embarrassedly for the camera whilst holding up a gold medal and certificate. There was something very familiar about her that Sawyer couldn't put his finger on until he read the headline underneath:

_US Fertility Specialist Brings Home Nobel Prize_

He let out a low appreciative whistle as he read on and put two and two together. It was Juliet, the woman he'd met that fateful night in Vegas when the feds had caught up with him. He'd thought about her from time to time over the last 3 years, especially when he was in prison, but had lost her card during his arrest and if he was honest, never thought he deserved to see her again so hadn't actively looked her up. It was a nice memory to be treasured and left be unspoiled.

"Damn, looks like she eventually got that award." He murmured softly to himself.

Reading on, the article described how she had won the prize for medicine the previous month for her breakthrough research and successful treatment of cancer suffers, infertile through disease and chemotherapy but now able to bear children. Over a dozen patients had so far given birth, including her sister. As he took the words in a fierce sense of pride overcame him, he was unable to explain it as he barely knew the woman but he was so happy for her and couldn't help grinning to himself like a madman.

As memories of that night flooded back, he wanted to see her, to talk to her and congratulate her on her success. She'd made him feel like a better man and he wanted to let her know that he finally believed that he could be.

Maybe it was the whiskey and the drenching that had gone to his head but a crazy thought popped into his head that whispered _Why not?_ He hopped off the stool, gathered his jacket and the newspaper and practically bounced out the bar and back into the rain.

He was off to Miami. To find himself… and hopefully her.

Juliet removed her shoes and sat on a quiet section of the beach to enjoy the peace and calm that enveloped her. As she contemplated the chaos of her life over the last months, calm had been in very short supply and she revelled in its brief respite as she leaned back on her hands and raised her face to catch the warming rays of the late afternoon sun.

An exhausted sigh escaped her and she felt a twinge of guilt. This was it, her life's goal achieved; her Nobel Prize the highest accolade in her field, she was now set for life and her place in history assured. All before the age of 40.

So why did it all feel so anti-climatic? Amidst the circus of press conferences and being thrust under the spotlight she just felt so lost and confused, like something was missing and she just wasn't getting the point of it all.

Suddenly her solitude was broken as a blur of energy and flying sand launched itself at her from the side, knocking them both sideways.

"Hey squirt, you give your mom the slip again?" A high pitched squeal was her only response as she started tickling her nephew's ribcage, more sand sent flying as he squirmed and kicked in her grasp.

"Not for want of trying," Her sister's voice laughed from behind them. "Sorry about that, he was off as soon as he saw you and I couldn't catch hold of him."

Juliet twisted her head round to smile widely at her as Rachel caught up to and sat down next to them. "You know I don't mind," before looking down to address the wriggling toddler in her lap. "You can bowl me over anytime you like little man. So what have the two of you gotten up to today?"

He stopped his movement and twisted his head of blonde unruly curls to regard her with big brown eyes shining with excitement. "We went to the zoo! There was tigers and lions and ele….eleph…"

"Elephants?" she prompted as he struggled with the word.

He nodded his head vigorously in agreement before continuing his story, "Then we went to the cold part with ice. Saw pen-gins and…." He trailed off and looked over at his mom for help.

"Polar bears," she helpfully supplied with a laugh, "Big white polar bears. What was it they ate?"

"Fish!"

At the mention of the bears, for some unknown reason Juliet's heart sped up a little and her palms got clammy. Strange, she thought and tried to shrug it off as she returned her attention to Julian, who had now apparently finished his tale and had scrambled off her lap to play in the sand. She smiled at the sight before turning back to Rachel.

"Thanks for re-stocking the fridge. You didn't need to do that." She had just that afternoon returned from a month long press tour to find that her sister had cleaned her apartment and stocked it full of groceries for her.

"Don't mention it, it's the least I could do for my globe-trotting international superstar of a sister!"

"Hardly!" She retorted with an inelegant snort and roll of her eyes. "How did you know I'd be here?"

"Please, a month away, where else are you going to go as soon as you've unpacked?" Laughing, she reached over and pulled Juliet into a big hug, which Juliet's weary body gladly sunk into. "Oh, it's so good to see you! We've missed you while you've been off having glamorous adventures."

"I'm so relieved to be home, life on the road is far from glamorous, believe me. Especially without the two of you to cheer me up." It had been a long month without her sister and nephew, she had managed to fly them out to join her briefly in London for a few days to play tourist, but other than that interlude she had mainly been alone and lonely amongst a dizzying array of strangers ushering her from country to country.

"You've been sitting moping again haven't you?"

The guilty look her sister flashed her before looking out at the ocean told her she was correct.

"What is wrong with me?" Juliet asked softly, eyes still fixed on the blue waves before her.

"Damned if I know," Rachel replied just as softly, reaching over to grab her sister's hand in comfort. "You've managed to give me a beautiful baby boy and been given a Nobel Prize for your troubles, you've finally gotten yourself out of that bastard Edmund's shadow and literally have the scientific world at your feet. You have a handsome and charming man who hangs on your every word… oh and you need never have another money worry ever again. Just what exactly is missing from this picture, Juliet?"

"I don't know," she replied forlornly with a shrug of her shoulders and brought her knees up to rest her arms over them. "That's half the problem I guess."

"Speaking of the good doctor, have you seen Chris since you've got back?"

"I'm meeting him for dinner later." A beat and a sigh, "Is it wrong that I didn't miss him that much? Maybe I'm just a walking cliché, a doctor dating a doctor."

"It's been a year Juliet, why are you still with him if you don't love him by now?"

"He's… nice. That's still a bit of a novelty I guess."

"Well as great as he is – and you know I like him, you have to let go and give both him and yourself a chance; a real chance, or else cut him loose already. It's not fair to either of you."

"You're right. I'll see how tonight goes and take it from there." With one last sigh she stood up and dusted the sand of her legs. "I gotta go. You staying here?"

Rachel looked over at her son before replying, "Doesn't look like his lordship is quite done with building his castle."

Juliet reached down to kiss her sister on the cheek, "I'll call you in the morning." Turning to her nephew she crouched to give him a kiss bye on the top of his head. Looking up, he threw his podgy arms around her neck and squeezed in delight.

"Bye Auntie Juliet!"

"See you later squirt, you be good for your mom." She retrieved her shoes and straightened, waving once to her little family before turning to leave them on the rapidly cooling beach.


	6. Chapter 6

Note: Bit of a marathon this, but didn't want to drag it out into two, think people might lynch me if I keep them apart much longer. Next one there'll be some interaction – I promise! Can you tell yet which days I'm not working? I've done nothing all day but type! Thanks as always for the reviews, they keep me churning this out.

So, without further ado, let me introduce you to Stalker Sawyer…

Oh and I must also apologise for all the Juliet/OC. I hadn't intended it, nor for it to go on for so long, but there it is.

**Chapter 6**

Sawyer sat in a beat up sedan in a palm tree lined parking lot and squinted in the early evening sun as he watched the building's entrance. He'd arrived in Miami nearly a week prior and after some calls to the university posing as a journalist, he'd initially cursed his luck to find that she was away on a press tour and not due back at work until today. He'd used the time to his advantage however: to get himself situated at a suitable hotel, familiarised with the city and buy himself the cheap second-hand car he was now sitting in.

Deciding that showing up on her doorstep out of the blue with nothing more than his congratulations and the hope that she remembered him was perhaps not the best plan, he concluded that his best option was to bide his time and essentially treat her like a mark. He would find out her daily schedule and local haunts – where she liked to go and who with. He would then engineer a chance meeting somewhere public and take it from there. So far he'd hit a brick wall with most of his enquiries, for someone who was a bit of a local celebrity she was surprisingly hard to track down and so all he had to go on was that she worked in this building and started back today.

So here he was, staking it out like a stalker and waiting for her to leave so he could follow her and hopefully find out where she lived.

He heard an engine approach from behind and looked in his rear-view mirror to see a flash sports car pull up around his and into a parking space near the entrance. An attractive man in his late 30s to early 40s, wearing an expensive suit and pretentious shades, emerged and locked it before sauntering into her building.

_Poser_, he thought and shook his head in distain before returning to the crossword he had propped up on the steering wheel.

Twenty minutes later movement at the front door caught his attention and he looked up to see an unmistakable flash of blonde exit and his heart leapt into his throat. She looked stunning in a dark tailored jacket, pencil skirt and heels, hair loose and curly and dancing about in the ocean breeze. He didn't think he'd ever found a business suit so sexy, but then even her dark blue overalls drove him wild.

_Where the hell had that thought come from???_ His mind's eye pictured her grinning at him with a bandana on her head and grease smudges on her face for the briefest instant before it was gone just as quickly.

He didn't have the time to wonder at the direction of his thoughts however, as she was quickly followed out by the Wall Street wannabe from earlier. As she turned her head back to him and laughed at something he said, Sawyer felt a stab of jealousy. Scowling, his eyes never left her as they chatted and walked over to the parked cabriolet. Once reached, she tossed her briefcase into the back as he opened the passenger door for her. Sawyer gave an involuntary growl of disgust as she leaned over and gave the guy a quick peck on the lips before entering the car. He closed her door before strutting round to the driver's side and climbed in.

Angry at himself for his irrational jealousy and at his naivety at not considering the possibility of her being with someone, he quickly snatched the newspaper article from the passenger seat and scrutinised her photo. Nothing on her ring finger – ok, this wasn't an insurmountable problem. He tossed the paper back on the seat and started the engine as the sports car ahead reversed out its space and pulled out the lot as he prepared to follow at a discrete distance.

After 20 minutes of chasing them through evening commuter traffic, they pulled into a quiet residential street and stopped at a pretty, modest bungalow with toys strewn over the porch and a tricycle on the front lawn. Sawyer stopped across the street and a couple houses down as she kissed him again before climbing out and retrieving her briefcase, sending him off with a smile and a wave as the car peeled away from the sidewalk and drove off.

Juliet watched the car's progress for a few seconds with a far off look on her face and Sawyer wished he could tell what she was thinking, what was going on behind those wistful blue eyes. What was it about this woman, practically a stranger, that he found so damn intriguing that he'd flown across the country on no more than a whim and the vague hope that he could get to know her better? It was more than just base attraction. He couldn't shake the feeling that somehow, deep down he knew her so well – better than he'd ever known anyone and it both scared and thrilled him. He just _had_ to find out what it all meant.

She shook herself out of her reverie and he watched as she turned to go through the gate and up the path. Was this were she lived? If it was, it didn't look like Mr Smooth did so that was a plus. She was halfway to the door when it opened and a blonde toddler ran out to launch himself at her. Laughing, she dropped her case to catch him and twirl him round and Sawyer grinned at the sight. Suddenly she stopped to look about the street in confusion and he had to duck quickly to avoid her catching sight of him.

He waited a good few seconds before hesitantly straightening back up to see that she'd retrieved her case and was now on the porch greeting a dark haired woman. This must be her sister and nephew he deduced as they all entered the house and out of sight. The question was, did she live here with them or was she just visiting? He took note of the street and number in a notebook before reclining his seat slightly to settle himself in for a long wait, thankful that he'd had the presence of mind to buy food and a book earlier in the day.

It had been dark for a few hours, he'd read over half his book and he was starting to think he should give up for the night when a cab pulled up at the house and after a few minutes the door opened. She hugged her sister goodbye and hurried down the path and into the waiting car. Sawyer stretched his cramped limbs quickly and tossed his book aside before starting the car to follow her once more.

It wasn't long before the cab pulled up to an expensive looking condo by the beach. She got out and he watched as she pulled out her keys and let herself in the front entrance. He looked about at the cars parked in the bays and was relieved to see that the sports car from earlier wasn't one of them. It seemed that this was where she stayed and there was a good chance she lived alone. A thought struck him and he jumped out his car and jogged around the perimeter of the property and onto the beach. Looking back at her building, he got there in time to see lights being turned on in an apartment on the 3rd floor – it must be hers. He was tempted to wait to see if she would approach any of the windows so he could catch another glimpse, but he didn't want her catching sight of him just yet, so he thought better of it and returned to his car.

"Sweet dreams, Juliet." He whispered fondly with one last glance at the building before getting back into his car.

He added this address to his notebook and grinned to himself before starting the engine. He'd had a good day. Easing into gear, he pulled away and headed back to his hotel.

######

It had been a chaotic whirlwind of catching up with colleagues and correspondence on her first day back at the university and she hadn't gotten much work done. Consequently it was a somewhat harried Juliet that looked up at the knock on her open office door to find the handsome, unruffled and immaculately turned out face of her boyfriend smiling down at her.

"Is it that time already? Seriously?"

He grinned and checked his watch before answering her, "Six–thirty as we agreed. You ready to go?"

She huffed and slumped back in her chair, surveying the mess that was her usually tidy desk. "May as well, I seem to have gotten nothing done." She dropped her pen in resignation and rose to stuff some files in her briefcase for later.

"Did you really expect to, your first day back?"

She smiled ruefully as she collected her jacket from the stand and he hurried forward to help her on with it. "It would have been nice. I just wish everything would go back to normal already."

"Hate to break this to you, but that's not likely to happen anytime soon sweetheart." He gave her shoulders a slight squeeze in sympathy before she stepped away to collect her stuff.

"I guess not." She sighed before continuing with a mock whine and a smirk. "It's all Rachel's fault – getting herself pregnant." Reaching back she pulled the clasp out of her hair and shook it loose.

He laughed at her flippancy, but could see the tiredness around her eyes and realised that she was only half joking. "I'll tell her you said that next time I see her shall I?"

"You wouldn't dare!" She knew full well that he wouldn't, he was too nice to rock the boat in any way. Too nice she sometimes thought – she didn't deserve someone so… perfect. She smiled brightly to cover the darker turn of her thoughts. "Let's go!

"Thanks for picking me up, you didn't have to. I could have got a cab." She smiled at the concierge as they passed, pushed open the front door and squinted slightly as she emerged into the bright sunlight. The breeze immediately caught hold of her hair and she cursed, wishing she'd left it up.

"It was the least I could do after keeping you out all last night and car-less this morning. Besides, my last surgery got cancelled and the interns were just about to take their exam. Any excuse to get out of there as fast as I could!"

She laughed and turned to wait for him to catch up after emerging behind her. "Boy, I don't miss those days, good call." They chatted more about the woes of being an intern as they reached the car. As she ditched her case he held the door open for her.

"I'll bet you didn't even get a question wrong, did you?"

She just gave him a quick peck on the lips and muttered, "Crawler," before climbing in. A shiver went up her back and she got the prickly feeling that someone was watching her as she waited for Chris to climb into the driver's side. She glanced about but couldn't see anything out of the ordinary and shook her head slightly at her foolishness.

They spent most of the drive to her sister's in companionable silence and Juliet took the opportunity to sit back with her eyes closed and enjoyed the remnants of the winter sun. She'd definitely missed the Florida climate during her travels and vowed never to visit some places in Europe again during the winter. How anybody could live in Russia, she'd never know.

She opened her eyes and discretely looked over at Chris as he concentrated on navigating the traffic. She'd thought seriously about what Rachel had said yesterday and had realised over dinner that she really had missed him. He may not make her heart race, but he was kind and loyal, treated her well and there was no denying that he seemed to think the world of her. He wasn't after her research or her money; he had a successful surgical career and plenty of money of his own. He was essentially everything that Edmund hadn't been and she was being foolish and naïve to think that there could be anyone out there more suited to her or that she could do better. So the sex might not be earth shattering, but it _was_ good and he was a gentle and considerate lover – a fact that he'd happily reminded her of last night.

So she had come to the conclusion that she deserved to be happy and that Chris could do that if she would just let herself love and be loved by him. She could make this work.

"What are you thinking about?" He'd caught her absentminded stare.

"Nothing much," she sighed dreamily, "Just that it's good to be home."

"It's good to have you home." He reached over and grabbed her hand, kissing her on the knuckles before dropping their clasped hands to rest between them. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," She smiled sincerely at him before turning her head to look out the window.

A few minutes later he pulled up at Rachel's house. "You want to come in? Julian will be pleased to see you."

"Nah, better not. They haven't seen you for ages and they'll want you to themselves. Can't really blame them."

She leaned over and kissed him goodbye. "Ok. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Bye."

She climbed out and waved him off fondly. Watching the taillights disappear she reflected again on her decision, hopeful that she'd made the right one. She shook herself slightly and resolved to stop thinking too much before heading up to the door. Julian came barrelling towards her and she laughed as she lifted him up to spin him round. She suddenly got that tingling feeling of being watched again and she spun round to look about the street. It was quiet and all she saw were some parked cars. She was becoming damn paranoid after having cameras pointed at her constantly these last few months!

"Thank you for my horsey!" Julian squealed between giggles, bringing her attention back from the street.

"Oh you're welcome squirt. Did it arrive already?" She perched him on one hip, reached down to pick up her discarded case and headed towards were Rachel was waiting on the porch.

"Seriously Jules, a horse? You shouldn't have, it's far too much!"

She set Julian down and reached over to give her sister a big hug. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. I was in a toy store in Rome and it was so beautiful, I just had to get it. It will last for years, and what's a cowboy without a rocking horse, right?" She looked down to address the last bit to the toddler now attached to her leg.

"Yeah!"

"We can talk about it later," Rachel didn't look too convinced, "Come on, let's go in, dinner's almost ready." She turned back into the house and Juliet followed, Julian skipping along next to her. They trooped into the kitchen where Rachel turned to a pot on the stove while Juliet hoisted Julian onto a stool at the counter before taking the neighbouring one.

"Wine?"

"I'd love one thanks. I can get it." She made a move to get up but Rachel waved her off and took a bottle of white wine out the fridge and grabbed two glasses. She set them down on the counter to let Juliet pour while she carried on with dinner.

"Rough day?"

"Not really, just didn't get much done. Have a mountain of messages to get through."

"Oh, to be in demand! Julian, go wash up for dinner." Juliet helped him down and he sped off to go wash his hands.

"Where does he get his energy?" Juliet laughed as she watched him go. "Can you bottle it?"

"I wish! I'm asleep before he is most nights. Could you carry that salad over for me?"

Juliet gathered the salad and wineglasses and followed her sister over to the dinner table.

"So was that Chris I saw drop you off? How did last night go? All clean mister?" Her son nodded and she helped him up to the chair and got him set up with his dinner.

"It was good, really good. I thought about what you said and you were right. He's an amazing guy and I haven't been giving him enough of a chance, I've been keeping him at arms length. So from now on I've decided I'm going to be open to love. Bring it on."

"Good for you, cheers to that," Rachel raised her wineglass in a toast. Not to be left out, Julian also raised his juice-box which his aunt solemnly clinked her glass with, before catching her sister's eye and giggling.

Juliet finally quietly slipped out of her nephew's room two hours later after a marathon bath and bedtime story session. She sighed in relief and padded down the hall to join her sister in the living room.

"Phew, that was a bit of an ordeal! He's not usually that excitable." She sunk gratefully into the sofa and closed her tired eyes.

"That will happen if you go off for a month and send him rocking horses from Rome. I really wished you hadn't, it must have cost a fortune on shipping alone."

"I'm sorry. No more big extravagant presents, I promise. Just medium sized extravagant presents…" off her sister's glare, "What? Who else am I going to spoil?" She sighed and closed her eyes once more.

"How about your poor and overworked sister?"

"In my briefcase, side pocket. I don't have the energy to move."

Rachel jumped up and scuttled off to retrieve the case from the kitchen. As she returned she plunged her hand in the side pocket, removing a small velvet jewellery box. She gasped when she opened it to find a pair of dazzling diamond earrings.

By this time Juliet had opened her eyes once more and revelled in her sister's delight.

"They're gorgeous Jules! Where?"

"Paris." She replied with a grin.

"Ok, I forgive you for the horse, just don't do it again."

"Yes ma'am. Rach can you call me a cab, I'm exhausted."

"Stay here if you like. The room's made up." Rachel put the earrings on and admired them in a nearby mirror.

"Thanks, but I've yet to sleep in my own bed. I'm looking forward to it."

"Hmm… I won't ask where you ended up last night then." She squeezed her sister's shoulder affectionately as she passed to get the phone. "Relax and close your eyes, I'll wake you when the cab gets here."

Half an hour later, Juliet let herself into her building and dragged her body up the two flights to her apartment. She kicked off her shoes and dumped her case by the door, so much for looking over those files tonight. Flicking on lights as she went, she moved into the bedroom and started stripping her clothes. All she was fit for now was a quick hot shower and bed. Turning on the shower, she wrapped herself in a robe and walked over to look out the window at the twinkling city lights and crashing waves while the water heated up.

Try as she might though, she still couldn't stop that nagging feeling from creeping up on her, making her wonder if there was something more out there for her. Well, she thought with a long sigh as she headed back to the bathroom and got under the blissful heat of the shower – if there was it would just have to come and find her. She was going to get on with her life and stop all this self-pity and moping about.


	7. Chapter 7

Note: Sorry it's been so long since I last updated. Life has been a whirlwind of grad balls and graduations at the moment. While I have been writing when I can I've been a bit torn on how to split up chapters so have just kept going and decided after a fair bit had been done. Now I know I promised some interaction in this one, but it seems I lied. I'm literally tidying up the next chapter though and there IS in that. It should be up shortly, tomorrow at the latest so I hope nobody holds it against me _too _much. Ok enough rambling, thanks as always for reading and reviewing and hope you continue to enjoy!

**Chapter 7**

Juliet hummed to herself as she wandered round the room switching off computers and equipment. She'd been back at work for a week now and she'd finally cleared her desk and managed to get into the lab for the afternoon. She loved tinkering about and running experiments, especially now that the lab was _hers_ – it was where she was happiest. As much as she loved treating and helping patients, the lab was her home. She'd grown up a lot over the last few years, especially in terms of confidence and dealing with people, but she'd always be a geek at heart.

It was nearly eight in the evening and everyone else was long gone. She was meeting Chris for dinner at a nearby restaurant and had decided to work on while she was on a roll and walk there directly when she was done.

With one last look around the lab to check everything was in order, she flipped off the lights and locked up. Walking back down the corridor to her office, she collected her bag and jacket before heading out the front door, nodding and smiling to the night concierge as she passed.

"Goodnight Frank."

"Night Dr Burke. Have a good one."

"You too."

Still humming faintly, she exited into the night and shivered slightly at the unexpected chill in the air. She pulled her jacket a bit tighter around herself and headed off in the direction of the restaurant.

Sawyer had been starting to wonder if she was ever going to leave that night, everyone else had left and the place was practically deserted. The past week had been fruitful and he was about ready to approach her when an opportunity presented itself. He'd discovered that she drove one of these fancy new hybrid cars, but preferred to walk places when she could and she liked to stop each morning on her way to work for a latte (two sugars) and muffin at a nearby college coffee shop. She hadn't socialised much other than seeing her sister and nephew most days and the boyfriend twice, once spending the night at his – a night Sawyer had found it incredibly hard to get any sleep. Her work colleagues had thrown her a congratulatory meal the previous Friday night, though she hadn't stayed much longer than was polite after the food. She liked going for a quick run on the beach most mornings before work and on Saturday had gone for a particularly long one before spending the rest of the day with her nephew. The more he learned, the more his crush on her developed and he found himself bounding out of bed in the mornings, eager to catch his next glimpse from afar.

He'd found it harder to remain at a discrete distance as the week progressed and there had been a few occasions when he'd been in danger of actually bumping into her – particularly one morning when he'd given in to temptation and gone into the coffee shop. His years of practice had paid off though, and he had managed to successfully extricate himself.

Finally he spotted her leaving the building and head down the street on foot at a leisurely pace. He let her get a good distance away before starting the car to slowly crawl along after her. After just six blocks she stopped and entered a family style steakhouse. Sawyer looked about at the take-out and fast-food boxes that littered his car, then back to the restaurant. He would kill for a good steak and it didn't look too fancy a place so he thought what the hell, he'd request a quiet corner table out of her line of vision. If she was meeting someone hopefully she'd be too preoccupied to look about much, and if she happened to notice and recognise him so be it – he couldn't go on like this for ever!

He waited a further ten minutes to allow her to get settled at a table, grabbed a necktie from the backseat in an attempt to smarten himself up a bit, then headed into the restaurant.

On entering, he noticed that the restaurant was relatively quiet. Juliet was sat at a table set for two, her back to him and head bent over the menu. He checked where the restrooms were to see what her route to them would be and spotted an ideal table two behind hers, a large potted plant between them. Well hidden, yet close enough to be within earshot. He ambled up to the hostess stand and smiled widely to the bored looking young woman standing there.

"Evening darlin'. Table for one please. Could I have… that one there?" He leaned in close to her and pointed out the one he'd selected with a slow grin.

She followed the direction of his arm with some confusion, checked her floor plan, then back up to him. "Uh, sure. Right this way." She led him over to his table, to his relief bypassing Juliet's. He took his seat and she handed him a menu.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"Beer would be swell." Out of the corner of his eye he could see a waiter bring her a glass of wine. She thanked him then glanced at her watch before taking a sip. Was that son of a bitch boyfriend running late or had he stood her up? As if in answer, her cell phone rang. She took it out of her purse and smiled upon seeing who it was, before answering it

"Hey," She spoke softly and a shiver ran up Sawyer's spine upon hearing her voice. "No I'm here already…. ah…. no I haven't seen the news recently…. no of course, I understand it's an emergency…. really, it's fine. I hope it all goes well… no, I'm here now, I may as well eat…. no you don't have to, it will be late and you'll be tired…. yeah, I'll call you tomorrow… you too, 'night."

Sawyer sent a silent thanks to whatever God might be up there. This was it – the perfect opportunity: she'd been stood up and still planned on eating so wasn't going anywhere soon. His beer arrived and he took a long swig, his mouth having gone dry. It was now or never. The waiter had returned and was now taking her order. He took another drink, rose and headed to the restroom while she was preoccupied.

Bursting through the restroom door, he caused a man washing his hands at the sink to jump in fright and look round at him in confusion.

"Sorry."

The guy threw him a filthy look before hurriedly drying his hands and leaving the room. Sawyer stalked over to the sink, cupped his hands under the cold tap and splashed water on his face. Leaning over the sink he took some deep breaths to steady himself. Now was not the time for an attack of nerves. He looked up at his reflection in the mirror to see fear in his eyes.

"Pull yourself together man."

He could do this, just like countless times in the past. Only this wasn't like any of them, he had nothing to gain from this other than her good opinion. This was no longer some flight of fancy borne of too much liquor - watching her interactions over this past week, he'd unwittingly put her up on a pedestal: an ideal to be achieved and his potential salvation. He genuinely wanted nothing more than for her to like him, to see _him_ and say she still believed in him and more than anything he wanted to be worthy of that belief.

Another deep breath. He could do this.

"Ok. Showtime."


	8. Chapter 8

As promised:

**Chapter 8**

"Juliet?"

Upon hearing her name, Juliet looked up to see a vaguely familiar blonde man approaching with a surprised look on his face. Though she recognised him, she had no idea who he was, but he obviously knew her.

"Juliet Burke?"

"I'm sorry, do I know…"

"James. James Ford. We met in Vegas a few years ago…"

"Of course! James! How are you? What brings you to Miami – work?"

"Uh no, actually I quit. Decided I needed a change of scenery and well, Miami seemed as good a place as any." He gave her a well practised nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

"Oh. Well good for you. Have you been here long?"

"A few weeks, just kickin' about really. Need to make a start on apartment and job hunting. So how are you, your sister have her baby?"

A huge smile spread across her face at the mention of Julian. She was touched that he remembered. "Yes she did; a boy. He's called Julian and he's nearly 3 now. He's amazing, a right little ball of energy." She laughed at the thought and Sawyer chuckled along at her enthusiasm.

"Julian huh? She named him after you." This piece of information was actually new to him and his grin at hearing it was a genuine mixture of surprise and delight.

"Yeah, she shouldn't have. I tried to talk her out of it but she was determined," she blushed slightly out of modesty and embarrassment.

"Well I think she chose right, it was an incredible thing you did for her, giving her a baby. You more than deserve the recognition and praise." His voice had softened with admiration, his words causing Juliet's blush to deepen.

"Thanks," Unsettled by the compliment, Juliet dropped her eyes and fiddled with the wine glass in front of her.

"Well, I see you're waitin' for someone to join you, I won't keep you. It was really good to see you again, Juliet." Despite his words, inside he was praying she'd ask him to stay and his heart thumped wildly as he awaited her response.

"Actually, I've just been stood up," She picked up her cell phone and waved it slightly in illustration. She looked up at him with a thoughtful expression for a second and Sawyer wasn't able to breathe until she continued softly, "Are you here with someone?" She looked about the room to see if she could see anyone that looked like they were expecting his return.

Sawyer let out a whoosh of breath before he could answer, "No, just me. Haven't gotten round to making many friends here yet. In fact you could say you're it." He laughed somewhat bashfully at the admission.

"Well in that case, would you like to join me?" She smiled and nodded to the vacant chair opposite her. He grinned widely in response, dimples on full display and Juliet couldn't help the slight flip-flop feeling in the pit of her stomach at the sight.

"I'd love to. Lemme just grab my beer." She followed him with her eyes as he purposely strode back to his table, thinking back fondly on the night they met in Las Vegas, despite the slightly embarrassing end to the night. Again she marvelled at how at ease she felt with this practical stranger and looked forward to having dinner with him. The thought of Chris and his emergency surgery popped into her head and she felt a twinge of guilt, but quickly suppressed it. It was only dinner, she was doing nothing wrong. Dinner and the refreshing chance of conversation that didn't revolve around her work – she doubted James kept himself abreast of the goings on in the world of scientific research.

Sawyer snatched his beer from the table and caught a passing waiter. "I'll be eating with the lady," He informed him, pointing in Juliet's direction. "I'll have the steak – rare."

"Sure thing," The waiter wrote down his order and left.

Sawyer returned to her table and sat down. Taking a deep breath to brace himself, he addressed her with some apprehension. He'd agonised all week with what he was about to say, but had eventually decided if he was going to get anywhere, he wanted to be honest and open from the start.

"Before I get too comfy, I have a confession I want to make. If you want me to leave and never bother you again, I'll understand and be gone. I want you to know I respect you too much not to be truthful straight off."

Juliet was startled at his sudden serious tone and looked at him with some confusion. "This sounds… ominous." She reached out subconsciously and placed her hand on his in a gesture of support, for he looked genuinely troubled. They both felt a jolt of something intangible at the contact, similar to what she'd felt previously when he'd grabbed her wrist three years ago. She quickly removed her hand again as if burned, but continued in a soothing voice: "You can tell me anything, James. I promise I'll listen."

He looked into her caring blue eyes and knew that he could inexplicably yet easily tell her anything and everything; all his deepest secrets. He didn't know why this startling woman he barely knew held such power over him and could only hope and pray that she wouldn't hate him after what he was about to say.

"I wasn't really an insurance salesman. I was a con artist; a criminal who cheated people out of their money," his voice barely above a hoarse whisper, he broke eye-contact and looked resolutely at his beer, fearful of seeing the reproach on her face.

A part of her was mildly shocked at his confession, but for some reason she couldn't fathom, she wasn't particularly surprised. It wasn't like he had the look and air of a conman about him as such, but more that deep down she already knew.

"Go on," she urged quietly, curious as to why he was telling her this.

"Not much more to say really. I'd run all sorts of scams, but my speciality was conning bored rich housewives and their son of a bitch husbands out of their money. Like I told you before, Juliet, I'm a bad man. The kind your momma warned you about." He grimaced in distaste as he thought of all he was ashamed of before continuing, "But I don't want to be. I've done my time and I want to leave all that behind me. I want an honest and fresh start. I don't know why, I can't explain it, but I don't want to lie to you."

A sudden thought struck her and her eyes widened as she gasped, "Was I…"

"No!" His voice was tinged with anguish as he interrupted and once again she could swear it was something she had heard and felt before from him, an emotion she somehow knew all to well. "You have to believe me, I never… you were just this beautiful and intelligent woman I met in a bar who said they believed in me, nothing more." He gave a small wry smile before trying to amend his last statement, "Not just nothing more… well you know what I mean…"

"Beautiful and intelligent…" She repeated softly and arched a delicate eyebrow with a smirk; giving him a glimmer of hope. Instinctively he knew this was a good sign.

"Who said they believed in me. Do you still?"

She looked at him thoughtfully for a beat, looking right into his soul, before answering candidly, "I want to." A sigh and another scrutinising glance followed as he let out the breath he didn't realise he was holding. "You've given it all up? Gone straight as they say?"

"Absolutely."

Their dinner arrived and Juliet broke eye contact to thank their waiter, Sawyer's attention never wavered from her. She waited until they were alone again before answering him.

"Then let's just eat and forget all this dark talk. The past is the past, right?" She gave him an encouraging smile and he breathed a deep sigh of relief before nodding gratefully and eagerly attacked his steak.

#####

"So, Dr Barbie," Sawyer teased as he held the restaurant door open for her a few hours later, "Are you ever going to tell me about that fancy award you won? Named after some Swedish dude, what's his name again… Ericsson? Kruger?" Juliet stopped in her tracks and looked incredulously at him as he pretended to have trouble with the name. "Ah no, Alfred Nobel, that's it!"

"You know about that?" She gasped, unable to hide the surprise in her voice.

"What, you think I'm nothing but a dumb redneck?"

"No…. I just… uh," she floundered for words, worried that she'd inadvertently insulted and offended him. He took pity on her and nudged her shoulder with his.

"Relax Goldilocks, I'm just yankin' yer chain. I read it in a newspaper I found at a bar. I wanted to congratulate you, but have to admit I lost the card you gave me." He gave her a sheepish smile before continuing, "So, uh, well done! Knew they'd come to their senses eventually."

"Thanks," she smiled bashfully and looked down to kick at a stone with her shoe. "It's been…. surreal. Hectic. I'm honoured but looking forward to all the hype dying down again to be honest." He noticed that she was shivering slightly in the late night chill.

"You need a ride home? My car's just across the street."

"Oh no, I'm fine thanks. I can catch a cab."

"Nonsense. I promise I'm not an axe-murderer and I don't bite. Not unless you ask nicely," he leered suggestively. She screwed her nose up slightly and he could see she was still wary. He continued, pleading softly, "It's the least I can do after you rescued me from yet another solitary meal."

As she looked up into his eyes and saw the vulnerability barely masked by bravado, she had another sense of déjà vu creep up her spine. Stalling on making a decision, she quirked an eyebrow and tossed him a wry smile, "I seriously doubt you're that hard up for dates, James. You charmed women for a living, did you not?"

Touché, he thought, but was determined not to give up. He didn't want the night to end just yet. "Come on," he whispered huskily, nudging her shoulder once more and he could see her resolve was crumbling. "You can tell me more about what it's like being the science geeks' golden girl."

"Ok," she relented with a sigh, "Though no more dissing the science geeks."

"Deal. This way," He gestured over to his car with an exaggerated flourish.

As they approached the car, Sawyer remembered just what state he'd left it in after practically living in it this past week. Damn, he really hadn't thought any of this through tonight.

She couldn't resist commenting on the mess as he unlocked it. "Big junk food fan are we, James? You do realise the amount of salt and calories in those things."

"Ah sorry about that, it's a long drive to Florida. A man's gotta eat."

"It has Florida plates, yet you drove here in it?"

Shit, did anything get by her? "Yeah, I bought it here, but uh, had to drive up to a mate's in Virginia to pick up something, then drove back." She nodded and proceeded to climb in, accepting his lie on face value.

"So, where to ma'am? Your chariot awaits."

Sure, he could practically drive the route blindfolded by now, but he couldn't let her know that. She gave him vague directions, promising to point him the right way as they went. The drive was pretty benign and uneventful, they chatted more about her work and recent travels. He'd gotten her to admit during dinner that she was seeing someone and he tried to probe further into the relationship a few times, though she deftly skirted the issue and gave him somewhat vague answers each time. He took this as a good sign, his heart thumping and palms sweating on the steering wheel as he tried to contain his glee. Man, he was far gone, before tonight he could put it down to a just a fanciful crush, but now sitting in a confined space with her, smelling her perfume and hearing her laugh he could no longer deny just how much he wanted her. He wanted her completely like no woman before.

He wanted her mind, her body, her smiles and her heart and he wanted her to want those things of him. It was all he could do keep his concentration on the road.

For her part, the more time she spent in his company, the harder Juliet found it to deny that she was inexplicably drawn to the handsome charmer driving her home. He was her complete opposite in so many ways: the ultimate bad boy, a self-confessed rogue and they had practically nothing in common. He was the definition of danger and she'd never felt as alive as she did at that moment. Yet the whole… 6 or 7 hours total that she'd known him he'd never been anything other than the perfect gentleman and she felt so at ease in his company. It was as if she'd known him for years and couldn't quite explain why she trusted him. She shouldn't trust him, every synapse in her brain was screaming at her to be wary – he was a conman for crying out loud! But she just couldn't help it. She stole a quick glance at him as he drove and pondered on how he was such an enigma. She didn't look away quick enough though and he caught her staring, flashing her a quick rakish grin before returning his eyes to the road ahead and her heart skipped a beat.

Was this what was missing in her life?

All too soon the car pulled up at her building. Inspired, Sawyer quickly jumped out and around to open her door and Juliet giggled at his actions.

"Never let it be said my momma didn't teach me how to be a southern gentleman. Let me walk you to your door."

"This isn't a date, James."

"No, it's a… fortuitous chance meeting. Come on, are you going to let me walk you up or are you just going to sit there and make me look like an idiot?"

"Hmmm, now that's a bit of a conundrum." Taking pity on him she placed her hand in his outstretched one and let him pull her out of the vehicle before closing her door. On contact they both yet again felt an eerie pull and strange flashes of foreign scenes in their minds that faded as quickly as they occurred. Though still utterly confusing, neither wanted to cause a scene and let go of the other, so suppressed their perceived craziness. They walked slowly up to the door, enjoying the companionable silence. On reaching their destination, they dropped hands shyly and stood facing each other but avoided eye contact. They both sighed at the same moment and looked at each other before bursting into somewhat nervous laughter.

"Well this is me…"

"Yeah. Can I… ah… see you again?"

"Since I'm apparently your only friend in the city, which I'm still not buying by the way, it would be cruel to refuse wouldn't it?" She reached into her purse and pulled out another business card. He reached to take it but she waved it away out of his reach. "Now you're not going to lose this one are you?" She teased.

"Well it seems you have an endless supply in there…" he retorted as he snatched it from her hand. Her eyes glinted laughingly in the lamplight from the foyer and all the blood rushed from his head and headed decidedly south.

Before he knew it, he'd opened his mouth to hoarsely whisper, "I know you said you have a boyfriend, but you've no idea how much I want to kiss you right now."

Her eyes widened slightly at his admission and her stomach flip-flopped once more. _To hell with it_ she thought, before whispering back softly:

"I wouldn't stop you."

It was all the encouragement he needed and he quickly ducked his head to claim her lips, a split second was all it took for her to open her mouth to allow him deeper access. As tongues duelled, the flood gates were opened and every emotion and buried memory that had been slowly bubbling to the surface flooded both their senses simultaneously; the crash and aftermath - ranging from hate to tentative comradeship to their deep friendship and shared love during Dharma times.

All of it hit them in a wave, forcing them to tear apart and gasp for breath and understanding. Sawyer sagged against her, leaning into the glass of the door behind her, effectively trapping her there, his head dropped onto her shoulder. Juliet dropped hers back against the glass, her hands clutching at his shoulders for support.

"James?" She forced out during her ragged struggle for breath, "What just happened? Do you…. Do you remember?"

"Yes." It came out as a strangled sob and she placed her hands on his face to force him to look up at her. His eyes were wet and his face ashen. "You died. I lost you."

"No!" He own eyes were filled with tears now as she brushed at his with her thumbs. "I didn't. Somehow… I survived. I blew up the bomb. It must have worked!"

"The plane didn't crash."

"I didn't take the job. I turned Richard down."

"Yet here we are." His tears had dried by now and the enormity of the situation had begun to set in. "I love you." He stated simply and his hands drew across her waist to draw her closer. She rewarded him with a dazzling smile through her own tears and her hands snaked around to the back of his neck.

"I love you back." She stood up on tiptoes and hugged him with all her might while he dropped kisses on her hair, forehead and nose before reaching her lips once more. This kiss was no longer that of nervous teenagers at the end of a first date like the previous had been, but the frantic outpouring of passion borne of long established lovers and partners separated for longer than either could fully comprehend at that time.

After a minute their pace slowed to a more languid and sensual tempo, bodies pressed as close as possible against the glass door. Breathing became a necessity and they reluctantly broke apart, foreheads resting together in comfort briefly before he pulled back to look at her with a content smile; a smile she remembered so well now from their days in Dharmaville. She closed her eyes and sighed as he tenderly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Come on," she pushed him away slightly to allow her to find her keys and turned to open the door. She was barely through before she felt his hands on her waist once more, turning her slightly to back her up against the wall, his lips descended on her neck, causing her to moan at the sensation. Instinctively her hands ran through his hair, much shorter than she was used to, and she clutched at his head to greedily bring his lips back to hers. After a few further moments she broke away once more, grabbed his hand and practically hauled him up the stairs.

This time she managed to reach the first landing before he descended upon her again like a man possessed. She gave in briefly then attempted to gain his attention.

"James, stop. James… James!"

He looked up startled at her tone, eyes unfocussed. "What's wrong? Are you ok?" His voice had a panicked edge and she chuckled and gave him a quick peck on the lips to allay his fears.

"We've got two more flights to go, I don't know about you, but I'd like to actually reach my apartment sometime tonight? Don't think any of my neighbours would be too impressed either if they caught us. I'd like to keep my reputation intact. Think you can keep your hands to yourself until we get there?"

He let out a shaky laugh and released her to run his hands through his hair in an attempt to regain his composure. "Sorry. Yes, ma'am. Lead the way." He held his hands up in surrender. She laughed once more, grabbed one of them and kissed his knuckles tenderly before leading him the rest of the way up the stairs.


	9. Chapter 9

Note: Wow, 9 chapters in. I should probably mention that I'm not sure yet where this is ultimately leading. I'm just going with the flow and writing as it comes to me, so there's a good chance that it may eventually taper off if I can't figure out a definitive ending. If it does I hope you all forgive me, but I suppose there's over 6 months to come up with something!

As always, love the reviews, I am in awe of you all and very grateful for those that have taken the time and effort.

For anyone that's interested, I'm taking a _very_ _slight_ amount of inspiration for Sawyer and Rachel's interaction from the very excellent yet traumatic Dylan song that my title is also taken from – Ballad in Plain D. For anyone that's familiar with it (and I urge those who aren't to look it up) don't worry, my Sawyer/Juliet will in no way parallel it.

**Chapter 9**

The first thing that woke Sawyer up the next morning was the sensation of something tickling his nose. The second was an almighty electronic screeching noise somewhere behind his head.

"What the fuck???" He growled aloud in shock. Before he could wake up enough to comprehend what either were, an arm had snaked out from under the covers and reached across him to slam off the offending alarm. Quickly realising that the former was due to the blonde hair of the body currently curled up next to him, he momentarily froze in fear.

_Where the hell was he?_

"Mmmm… James…" An unmistakable voice murmured, still half asleep, causing him to smile as he remembered everything for the second time in twelve hours. He was apparently right where he was supposed to be.

"Mornin' Sunshine." He kissed her hair and squeezed her slightly in order to rouse her fully from sleep. "Some night, huh?"

She grumbled slightly at being woken then slowly raised her head from where it rested on his chest to regard him with sleep clouded eyes. "So it wasn't some crazy dream then." Yawning she stretched and moved away slightly in order see him better, grinning as she leaned onto her side, head propped up on one hand.

"No, think my back will testify to that. Though technically I think we're three years younger than the last time we did that? Even if it was in the seventies."

She laughed at this and flopped onto her back, covering her face with her hands. "God, how screwed up is all this? Where do we even start making sense of it all?"

"I've got a question." She removed her hands and looked over at him to continue. "Just what the hell were you doing in a steakhouse? I know there weren't many establishments to compare to on craphole island, but a _steakhouse_??? That just ain't you Blondie."

She playfully whacked him on the chest with a pillow for his impertinence before a serious look passed over her face. She raised herself up to a sitting position against the headboard and pulled her knees into her chest, still under the sheet, before answering quietly. "No, it wasn't my choice. It was my date's. Chris – the guy I've been seeing. He likes it and it's close to my work."

"_Mr Too-Cool-For-School_ with the hideous taste in shades?"

She looked at him in suspicion, "How do you have any idea what he's like? You haven't met him."

"Do you love him?" He shifted his gaze away from her to look out the window at the waves rolling in from the Atlantic, bracing himself for her answer.

"No. Answer my question." Her tone was slightly sharper than she intended. He looked back at her with a guilty look and took a deep breath before speaking.

"I came to Miami with the sole purpose of finding you." He swung his legs round to a sitting position on the side of the bed, placed his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. This was all just too surreal.

She stared at his back in confusion for a few seconds before she was able to formulate a response. "So you already knew? You had remembered?"

"Nope. Not a clue until last night. No, here's the batshit crazy part - not that the whole time-travel hoopla is a walk in the park - I saw you in that newspaper and something just compelled me to chase after you. I've no idea why. I've been watching you for about a week now. Purposely followed you into that restaurant last night."

"You've been stalking me, not knowing who I really was to you?" She found it hard not to laugh at the absurdity. He heard the incredulous amusement in her voice and turned his head back to give her a helpless shrug.

"If that's not a sign that we're meant to be together, I don't know what is?"

At his last statement, all traces of amusement quickly vanished as she remembered the circumstances that led up to the bomb. In a flash she was over to his side of the bed, wrapping her arms around him from behind. She lightly kissed his shoulder and rested her forehead against it before speaking, her voice thick with emotion:

"I'm so sorry, for everything I said and did that day. For doubting you. For being irrational and changing my damn mind. I just… when Bernard said something about being together, I looked at you and you were looking over at Kate. It terrified me, knowing how you felt about her. So I got a bit… insecure and crazy."

He tightened his grip on the arm that was across his chest and leaned back slightly into her body. "I'm sorry. I honestly don't know why I looked at her. Didn't even realise I had. What I felt for her, I thought it was love but it was infatuation. Who I was after the crash was attracted to her darkness. But she didn't even like me, Juliet. Certainly didn't respect me, not when she had Saint Jack to worship. How can that be love?

"But what we had, what we _have_ – it's so much more than any of that." He swivelled around slightly so that he could face her. "Everything I did those last few days, it was for you. Everything. I love you so much Jules." Her eyes watered at his words and a tear escaped, which he quickly reached up to brush away. She closed her eyes and leant into his touch.

"When you fell and I thought I'd lost you, I gave up. I would have jumped in after if I had the strength to move. I can't believe we somehow have a second chance at this. I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you for causing you to doubt us. Anything."

She gave him a watery smile and pursed her lips in thought before answering him. "How about you just promise me you'll have my back and let me get yours. The rest will all work itself out." The brilliance of his smile at this made her heart swell and she grinned back.

"Deal." He leaned in to kiss her deeply, revelling in familiarity of it. He inched his hands up the curve of her spine and round to tenderly brush the sides of her breasts, fully intending to take things further. Juliet however quickly broke away with a groan and looked over to her alarm clock.

"We can't. I have to go to work. I'm already going to be late."

"You can't be serious! I'm not letting you outta my sight!"

"I need to. Look, I'll take some time off – a month or two and we can do what we want, where we want. All the things that normal couples do that we couldn't whilst stuck on an insane island in the seventies. Come on, what do you say?" The last she said in an imitation of his accent, causing him to chuckle.

"Your work would let you take that much off?"

"I'm the golden girl, remember? They're not gonna to want to lose me now. Besides I'm owed some time. But I need to go in to sort it all out."

"If you're already late, can't you just be later?" He practically whined.

She slid off the bed and grabbed a nearby robe and he knew she'd made up her mind. "The sooner I get there, the sooner I get back. I'm going for a shower."

"Well in that case, think I'll just lie back and enjoy the view." He scooted himself back onto the bed and smugly stretched his arms behind his head.

She emerged from the bathroom five minutes later to find her room empty. She could hear the sound of the tv on in the kitchen though, suddenly joined by a string of expletives.

"Are you ok in there?" She shouted through to him.

"Yeah, just showing your coffee machine who's boss."

"It's temperamental, watch the catch on the side jams."

"I discovered that, thanks." He made no attempt to hide his sarcasm and she giggled as she pulled out some clothes.

By the time she was dressed and had moved through to the kitchen, he'd made the coffee and had wandered through with his to the living room. She grabbed her own cup and followed to find him having a good nosey around, dressed in just his boxers. She stood quietly at the doorframe for a moment and just savoured the sight of him as he poked about at her bookcase.

"Find anything interesting?"

He whirled round in surprise at the sound of her voice as he hadn't heard her entrance.

"This is one swanky pad you've got here!"

She smiled fondly and walked to the big beachfront window before answering, "It's my one big indulgence. Worth it for this view though."

He set down his coffee and joined her at the window, wrapping his arms around her from behind and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Even after six years stuck on a tropical island?" He asked softly.

"Hmmm…. even still. I'll always love the ocean. Besides, the last three years weren't so bad, were they?" She turned her head to kiss him on the cheek. "I gotta go, make yourself at home, although it looks like you have already." She gave him an impish grin as he pretended to be offended. "Want to make it more permanent?"

"If you're sure you want me to? I hav'ta warn ya, I can be messy." He drawled.

"I've put up with your mess for nearly three years. I think I can handle it," She retorted dryly.

"I'll drive over and get my stuff while you're gone then."

"I'll also have to swing by the hospital," she continued softly, "I need to tell Chris it's over."

He growled slightly in disgust at the thought and moved away to take a gulp of his coffee. "Can't you just call him?"

She glared at him as she left the window, gathering her keys and briefcase. "I won't even dignify that with a response, James. He's a good man." She scribbled down some numbers on a scrap of paper and handed it to him. "My office direct number and cell. Call me if you need anything. There's a spare key in the jar on top of the microwave." She reached up and smoothed his sleep-messed hair before leaning in to kiss him goodbye.

"Mmmm… I can't wait for you to meet Rachel and Julian. They'll love you. Not sure what the hell we're going to tell her though."

"We'll think it through when you get home." He leaned down to give her a quick kiss back.

"I'll call her tonight. Arrange to see them tomorrow?"

"Sounds like a plan, Sunshine. Now go."

"Right. Bye." With one last smile she swept out of the room and out the apartment.

####

It was early afternoon when Sawyer ambled into the living room, bare chested wearing just his jeans and towel drying his hair after just taking a shower. It felt great to have a decent one after the crappy shower in his hotel room these past two weeks. The pressure in hers was amazing, you could run hydrolics off it! He discarded the towel and flopped onto the sofa before grabbing the remote and switching on the tv.

After flipping through all the channels twice to no avail, he came to the conclusion that he was bored. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he had absolutely nothing to do – in either timeline. He had already retrieved his stuff, what little of it there was, and just had to wait for her to get home. He hoisted himself back up and headed into the kitchen to look for something to eat, pouring himself a bowl of cereal. On his way back through, he looked over at the clock to see that it was just after 2.30, nearly 5 hours since she'd left. Hopefully by now she'd have given that douche-bag his marching orders and had her work sorted. No harm in checking.

He grabbed the phone and the note she had left and dialled her office number as he sat back down on the couch and propped his bare feet up on the coffee table. It answered after two rings.

"Juliet Burke."

"Well hello there Dr Burke, I'm in need of an appointment. Think you can squeeze me in?"

"Having trouble getting pregnant are you? Maybe you're just doing it wrong…"

"Cute. Haven't heard many complaints so far, certainly not last night." He retorted. "So how's it going?"

He heard her sigh slightly before replying. "Fine, I guess. My leave's sorted, just trying to clear the work off my desk before I go. I shouldn't be too much longer."

"Did you get the chance to give lover-boy the heave ho?"

"Yeah, I went to see him. It's done."

"How did it go?"

"How are break-ups supposed to go?" she snapped, irritated at his flippancy. Another sigh, "Ok, I guess. Doesn't matter now, it's over."

He sensed she didn't want to go into any more details and so was about to change the subject when he heard the front door open, followed by some commotion.

"Don't forget to put the seat back down and wash your hands!"

Just then a somewhat harried looking brunette rounded the corner and stopped dead in her tracks upon seeing him. She put her hands on her hips in a perfect imitation of Juliet, giving him a perplexed glare before demanding:

"Who the hell are you?"

"James? Who was that?" Juliet's voice asked in his ear, reminding him that she was still on the line.

"Uh, I think I've just met your sister."


	10. Chapter 10

Onwards and upwards. Hope you continue to enjoy. There were so many wonderful reviews for the last chapter, I'm humbled and astounded by all the kind words!

**Chapter 10**

"Is that Juliet you're talking to? Let me speak to her." She demanded and striding towards him, held out her hand for the phone. He bit back a sarcastic retort, not wanting to get off on the wrong foot with this woman.

"She wants to speak to you. Sorry, but at this point she looks scarily like you and I value my life too much to refuse." He handed over the phone with an attempt at a smile that was not returned.

"Why is there a half naked man here eating your cereal and watching tv like he owns the place?"

"I've no idea why he's half naked. You'd have to ask him that."

"I'm serious, Jules, who the hell is he?"

Juliet sighed as she considered what to say. She honestly had no idea, this was James' forte not hers and he'd effectively passed the buck for now. She decided that she could only be as honest as possible while stalling until she got home.

"His name is James, he's… an old friend and he's there because I want him to be. I'm at work but I'll come straight home, we'll explain everything when I get there."

"An old friend that I've never seen or heard of before?" Juliet winced at the sceptical tone in her sister's voice.

"Please, Rach – I'll be as quick as I can, I promise. Try not to start world war three until I get there." She paused for a beat before continuing softly, "He means a great deal to me. I want you to get on."

Rachel realised she wasn't going to get a straight answer over the phone and sighed in resignation. "Ok, I'll be on my best behaviour. Though seeing how good he looks shirtless, that might be a tall order."

"Rachel! What are you even doing there?"

"Ah. I was hoping to borrow your black jacket. Didn't think you'd mind."

"That's why you stopped by when you knew I was at work… I'd say you were busted big sis. Can you put James back on?"

Rachel whirled round to find that he had disappeared. "Hold on a sec." She gave an exasperated huff and went in search of him.

James had taken the opportunity while Rachel was on the phone to go find a shirt to put on. He fetched a t-shirt from his luggage and pulled it over his head as he headed back to the living room. When his head emerged from the neck of the shirt he found himself being intently watched by Juliet's nephew from the bathroom door. He crouched down to the toddler's eye level and gave him a big friendly smile.

"Hey there buddy, you must be Julian. Your aunt has told me all about you little man."

"Who are you?" His big brown eyes regarded Sawyer in a mixture of fear and childlike curiosity.

"My name is James. No need to be scared. I'm friends with your Aunt Juliet." He grinned again in an attempt to put the boy at ease.

"Julian, come here." Sawyer looked up to be met with a distrusting glare from Rachel. He couldn't blame her really, but it stung him that she didn't want her son near him. The Sawyer that he was a few days ago would have barely acknowledged the kid, but he now had his memories of Dharma, where he had become a firm favourite with all the kids and had discovered how much he had loved interacting with them. To go back to being a bit of a pariah in that regard unexpectedly hurt him.

As Julian scampered over to his mom, Rachel held the phone out for Sawyer to take. "She wants to talk to you."

"Thanks." He took the phone back and headed into the kitchen and the relative privacy it afforded.

"Hey, what did you say to her?"

"Just your name really, I've put her off until I get home. I'm leaving now, I won't be long. What are we going to tell her, James? What can we possibly say that would be believable?"

"How about we met while you were in Europe? A whirlwind romance?"

"She won't buy that and will think you're just after my money. I don't know James… I don't know if I can lie to her. I want to just tell her the truth. There have been too many lies."

"She'll think you're crazy!"

"She's my sister."

Sawyer sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He leaned against a counter and looked down at the beach below as he considered her words. "Ok, it's your call, whatever you think is best. We should try to keep the sci-fi to a minimum somehow. Ya know, gloss over the 70s a bit."

He heard her laugh softly at this before answering. "Yeah. I won't be long."

"Ok, bye." He hung up and steeled himself before heading back into the living room. He got there to find the tv had been switched to cartoons. Both were sat on the sofa; Julian was glued to the screen while Rachel stared off into space. He cleared his throat to announce his presence.

"Can I get you guys anything, coffee or something?"

"My son's too young for coffee."

"Yeah, well he was obviously the _or something_." Oh how he would kill for a beer right now. Juliet didn't have any and he cursed himself for not thinking to get some when he was out.

"Yes, well thanks but we're fine, plus I think I know where the kitchen is."

"O-kay." He gave up and sat down on an armchair and hoped that they could just watch the cartoons in silence until Juliet got back.

Rachel had other ideas though; her curiosity got the better of her and after stealing glances at him for a few minutes spoke up. "So what do you do, James?"

"I'm between jobs at the moment, but uh… security mostly."

"Security. Interesting," her tone suggesting she found it anything but. Silence prevailed for ten minutes more, but it wasn't to last. "How long have you known my sister?"

"It's complicated. I think we should wait for your sister to answer that." Off her suspicious look, he continued, "I can tell you though that she means the world to me and I would never hurt her," hoping that would appease her a little.

"That's reassuring," she replied dryly and Sawyer prayed that Juliet would get home soon. He braced himself for further questions, but the next one unexpectedly came from Julian.

"Are you a cowboy?"

"Ah no, I'm sorry to say I'm not a cowboy."

"You sound like a cowboy. Like on tv." At this he clambered over the couch to sit closer to Sawyer.

Rachel laughed out loud at this before admonishing her son. "Julian, leave James alone. Sorry about that, he's going through a cowboy phase at the moment."

Sawyer laughed too and flashed the boy a grin before answering. "That's ok, he's fine." Addressing Julian he continued, "There are lots of cowboys where I'm from, but I'm not one. Never learned how to ride a horse you see."

"Auntie Juliet gave me a horsey!" He bounced up and down in excitement at this statement.

"Did she now? You must have been a very good boy! What have you called him?"

"Tonto." He replied proudly.

"It's a rocking horse," Rachel interjected. "She bought it in Europe last month and it's all he's talked about this last week."

"Does he like apples and sugarlumps?"

The toddler giggled, "No, he's not real silly!"

"Ah, I see! Does he like oats then?" Another giggle. His next words threw Sawyer for a loop however:

"Is Chris your friend too? He gives me horsey rides!"

Sawyer glanced nervously at Rachel before replying but her face was impassive and gave nothing away, though she intently awaited his answer.

"Uh no, I'm not a friend of Chris'." Rachel's eyes narrowed and she opened her mouth to speak, but before she could a key could be heard in the front door. Sawyer bounded out of his chair and sped out the room towards it. Rachel also stood and followed him slowly, waiting in the doorway; interested in seeing how they would greet each other.

She was barely through the door before he reached her. "Thank Christ you're back! I'm dying in there!" He whispered urgently then spotted what she was carrying, "You brought beer! My angel." He reached to take the proffered six-pack from her and leaned in to give her a tender kiss and hug, which she eagerly returned.

"I figured you'd be needing those. Mmm… I could get used to this kind of greeting when I get home." She released him slightly and leant back to look him in the eyes. "Bit different from the couple hundred yards walk from the Arrow or motor pool, isn't it?"

"Too different. I've missed spying on you on the monitors when you're least expecting it. The tv's just not the same." She laughed at this and attempted to give him a stern look, but failed miserably. "Maybe you could hook me up with a security job at the college."

"If you like, I could try. I doubt it will be up to what you're used to – hardly hostiles and burning hippy vans."

"If it's anywhere near you I'm sure I'd love it."

"We'll talk about it later then," she leaned in to kiss him once more before stepping back out of his arms. "Right now there's the small matter of my sister to contend with." At this she looked over to notice Rachel standing there, arms crossed, for the first time. Masking her surprise she gave her sister an apprehensive smile before approaching her.

Rachel had watched their exchange with a great deal of curiosity and surprise. Her sister had greeted this stranger with such ease and warmth. She'd never seen her like that with a man before – with Chris it had always frustrated Rachel that Juliet had maintained an element of aloofness and with Edmund, well she was too afraid of him to ever be herself. Yet here she stood in this man's arms, talking in hushed tones with him and looking like it was the most natural thing in the world for both of them. It was a puzzle and Rachel was anxious for answers, her little sister's wellbeing foremost in her mind. She noted with some disgust that she'd bought him beer.

"Rachel, how are you?"

"What's going on?"

Juliet stuck her head into the living room to check on Julian. He was engrossed in his cartoons once more. Turning back to her sister she suggested, "Perhaps we should all go into the kitchen. Sit down and talk this through."

#####

Half an hour later, Rachel sat back in stunned silence as she took in all that she'd just heard.

"You realise how insane all that sounds? I'm supposed to believe that you've relived the last three years after been held prisoner on a Pacific island, time travelled to the 70s, then set off a hydrogen bomb that sent you back to 2001 and you back to a few months ago? That you just happened to find each other again after living together for three years in this fantasy world?"

She looked over to her sister with hurt in her eyes. "Why can't you just tell me the truth? Why make all this nonsense up?"

"We _are _telling the truth, you have to believe me Rach." Juliet pleaded. "It's because I can't lie to you that we did tell you all this, despite how unlikely it all sounds. There's no other possible explanation for how long we've known each other."

"Well you said you met him in Vegas, maybe you've been carrying on a secret affair since then? Let's face it, he's hardly your usual type is he?" She directed a slight sneer in Sawyer's direction at the last statement. Before Sawyer could respond, she continued, "Maybe poor Chris was just for appearances sake for your career. Wonder what the academic elite would think of this beer-drinking slouch."

"Hey lady, I've held my tongue out of respect, but I ain't standin' for this! Who do you think you are? You don't know me! Why do you even care what or who your sister does or see? Seems to me it's jealousy talking. I mean what do you even have, other than your son, and even that's thanks to your sister?"

"James," Juliet said quietly, covering his hand with hers.

Rachel was taken aback at his outburst and her sister's reaction to it, but was determined to show Juliet that she was being played for a fool. "So it's just a coincidence that he shows up not long after you get a cheque for over a million dollars, is it?"

Sawyer sucked in his breath at this piece of news. He glanced over in confusion at Rachel's smug expression before turning to Juliet. "A million dollars? I swear I had no idea, the newspaper made no mention of money!"

"It's no big deal, I gave half of it to the university." It was her turn to look smug as she addressed her sister, "He didn't know."

"You seriously believe that? How could he not have known?"

Juliet gave a deep sigh and gripped Sawyer's hand tighter as she considered her next words. She didn't think this would be easy, but Rachel's hostile attitude towards Sawyer was starting to wear on her.

"I do believe him." She stated softly, "I love you Rachel, but please don't make me choose."

Rachel caught the implication of her sister's last statement and sat back in amazement. Before she could formulate a response, Julian wandered through, rubbing his eyes.

"I'm hungry mommy. Can we have dinner here?"

Rachel sensed that Juliet was near breaking point and that this would be a good time to step back from the situation. "No honey, I think Auntie Juliet and her _friend_ want some time alone. We'll have dinner at home. Go put your shoes on and we'll get going." They all rose from the table and looked at each other warily. Rachel walked round the table to pull her sister into a hug and whispered into her ear:

"I only ever want what's best for you, Jules."

Juliet softened her stance and hugged her back before replying just as softly, "I know, but right now that's him. You have to believe that, even if you don't believe the explanation."

Rachel released her sister and looked over at Sawyer. They both gave each other a tense nod as Julian traipsed back into the room. She walked over to him and ruffled his hair. "Say goodbye to your aunt."

Juliet crouched down and opened her arms wide as Julian barrelled into her. She squeezed him tightly and kissed his forehead as Rachel smiled from the doorway.

"See you later squirt. Love you."

"Love you too Auntie Juliet!" The boy stepped away from her and stopped in front of Sawyer on his way over to his mom. Looking up at him, he asked, "Do you want to come see my horsey?"

Sawyer grinned in delight before answering, "I'd love to! Some time soon huh?" Julian nodded before joining Rachel at the door.

"We'll let ourselves out. I'll call you later?"

Juliet nodded and they watched them leave in silence. Once the door shut, Sawyer turned to Juliet to see that her eyes were watering and she was struggling to maintain her composure. He quickly strode over to her and opened his arms up.

"Hey, c'mere. It'll all be alright, I promise." He whispered soothingly. She collapsed into his arms and clung to him as she let go and wept.


	11. Chapter 11

Sorry it's been a bit of a wait since the last update. Went to a 4 day music festival here in Scotland, then it took me so long to catch up on everyone else's updated fics! All amazing, I'll try to review individually at some point.

Anyway, another of a bit of a transition chapter here to keep you all going for now. I picture scenes that take just a few seconds in my mind and before I know it they take a life of their own, are a couple of thousand words long and I've yet to get to the actual crux of the story. I promise, for the foreseeable future at least, I'm going somewhere with all this, so please stick with it!

As always thanks a million for all the lovely reviews – they brighten up my day no end.

**Chapter 11**

Some hours later they lay entwined on the couch, the coffee table littered with pizza boxes, half empty beer cans and wine glasses. Emotionally drained from the events of the past 24 hours, Juliet dozed against his shoulder while Sawyer half-heartedly watched a basketball game on the tv. Every so often she'd give a soft snore or shift slightly and the reality of the situation would hit him. Could this really all be happening, or any second now will he wake up in the jungle in who knows what era to find that it's all been merely a cruel dream and that he's still broken and alone without her?

He turned his head slightly and breathed deeply, inhaling the familiar scent of her hair. How she managed to use the same shampoo despite the thirty year gap, he'd never know, but she was most definitely real. His actions caused her to burrow deeper into his neck and mutter his name. A look of heartfelt delight suffused his face as he dropped a kiss on her forehead before easing his body round to enable him to lie back fully and encircle both his arms around her sleeping form.

From his new vantage point, he could look out the window and down the shoreline to the bright lights of the city in the distance. A contented sigh escaped and it occurred to him that in this strange apartment, in this strange city, only once before has he ever had this same feeling of belonging – in a crazy hippy commune in the seventies. The infuriating yet amazing woman in his arms was the constant in all of this. His home, regardless of where that might be. It was absurd given their history, downright unbelievable if he considered all that had happened since the crash and he couldn't blame Rachel for her suspicion and scepticism. Yet here he was, deserved or not he'd somehow been given a second chance, this time in the real world. He vowed to himself that she'd never again have any reason to doubt him; he would never let go.

Movement in the sky caught his attention and his gaze shifted to a circling plane, preparing to land at the airport a few miles to the west. His thoughts turned to his fellow survivors, wondering what had become of them. Had anyone else remembered and if not were any of their lives really better off for it? Sure Charlie, Boone, Shannon and countless others were likely alive and kicking, but what of Jin and Sun? He and Jin had gotten close over the years and Sawyer knew that before the crash their marriage wasn't a happy one. It was Juliet that had triggered his memories and they also had each other, what if they remembered? Likewise Rose and Bernard, had her cancer returned? The thought of Hurley made him smile, if there was anyone out there he'd look up to check on it would be him. His thoughts darkened slightly as he next pondered the Doc and Kate.

He sure hoped Jack had found the oblivion he'd craved, but at who's expense? The woman he'd claimed to love? For sure Kate was either in jail by now or awaiting trial, the thought of which made Sawyer's stomach turn. He doubted he would ever be able to definitively pinpoint his feelings towards her. In the relatively short time he'd known her, she had become his promise of salvation, his obsession, a faded memory and ultimately the curse of his downfall. A glance in her direction had cost him everything he held dear; or more accurately now – almost had. Maybe he should even be thanking her or he wouldn't be here now. No, he would always care for her and prayed that life turned out well for her, but she was too much of a danger to his precious equilibrium for him to wish to see her again if he could help it.

His musings were suddenly interrupted by the ringing of the telephone. Juliet sat up in alarm and at him in confusion for a second before her face cleared in recognition.

"I wonder how long it will take to get used to waking up with you again," she croaked and smiled as she reached over to answer the still ringing phone. "Hello?" Her relief was palpable as she heard her sister's voice. "Rachel… I'm so glad you called…" As she spoke she disentangled herself from him and eased off the couch. Looking back at Sawyer she indicated her head in the direction of the balcony off the living room. He nodded back in understanding and she padded over and out the sliding door to sit on an outside chair.

Sawyer got up and followed her over, sliding the door closed in order to give her some privacy. He crossed into the kitchen and retrieved his last beer from the fridge before returning back to the couch and attempted to return his attention to the game, not that he could have even given the score before the phone had rang.

His apprehension over her sister was a distraction though, and he found himself glancing out at the balcony every few minutes. Sometimes she was animated and it looked heated, others she was quiet as she listened to what Rachel had to say. In one instance he noticed her shivering slightly. He grabbed a throw from the back of the couch and her wineglass and headed out to her. Without saying a word, he placed the glass on the table before her and the cover over her shoulders, giving them an affectionate squeeze. She looked up to mouth him a thank-you and he could see faint tear-stains illuminated by the moonlight. He felt a stab of guilt at this; she was at odds with her sister because of him and her tears were his fault. He found his own eyes misting over slightly at the thought of her pain and quickly turned to head back inside before she saw.

It was a further twenty minutes before he heard the door slide open and looked round to see her enter the apartment again. Her tears had dried and to his relief she looked much happier. He flashed her a tentative smile as she approached and flopped back down onto the couch beside him. Twisting to the side, he propped his elbow on the back of the couch and leant his head in his hand to silently regard her, knowing that she'd speak in her own time without his prodding.

"Well, she's stubborn, I'll give her that." She gave him a wry look before continuing, "Fortunately though, it's a family trait. She wants to apologise for some of the things she said to you earlier."

He leaned forward and grabbed one of her hands with his, giving it a gentle squeeze. "That don't matter, I can take it. Heard a lot worse in my time."

She closed her eyes briefly and shook her head before opening them again to regard him seriously. "It matters to me. Anyway, I'm not sure she'll ever fully believe us, suppose I can't blame her, but she's promised to try to accept you." She scooted closer to him and placed her head on his shoulder once more, his arm coming down to rest on hers.

"So in the spirit of acceptance, how do you feel about a picnic on the beach with them tomorrow?" He heard the hopefulness in her voice as if she was half expecting his refusal and he felt a little sad that she doubted him. He supposed that family picnics weren't really Sawyer's style, nor were they Lafleur's if he was being honest. But then he'd never really had family to want to go on picnics with before, outside of her. Sure, they had both sneaked out of Dharmaville and headed to the beach plenty of times, however as he recalled those instances with fondness he couldn't really call them family friendly.

Well, he was determined that family picnics were going to be right up James' street if it would make her happy. "I'd say there's nothin' I'd like more, though only if you'll rub sunscreen onto my back." He was rewarded with hearing her giggle and felt her arms tighten around him.

"Deal." He felt her stifle a yawn.

"C'mon Goldilocks, someone's had too much porridge and needs their bed." He rose and made to pull her up too.

"Don't you want to watch the end of the game?"

"Couldn't even tell ya who's playin'! Let's go to bed." He tugged harder and succeeded in getting her to her feet. He slung his arm around her shoulders and steered her sleepy body through to the bedroom.

#####

"Jesus Christ, Blondie! I travel time and space for you, now you're trying to kill me!" Sawyer gasped painfully before collapsing onto the sand.

Juliet stopped a dozen paces ahead and rolled her eyes before jogging back to find him in a pathetic heap. "It's a 3 mile run, which you've complained about the whole time. If I wanted to kill you, I could think of quicker ways," she noted dryly as she leaned over and braced her arms on her knees to catch her own breath.

"No, you just want to see me suffer instead," He flopped over onto his back melodramatically and furiously sucked air into his lungs.

She lightly poked him in the ribs with a toe for his moaning before replying, "Come on old man, that's what all that junk-food and beer will do for you. A bit of exercise is _not_ going to kill you. Doctor's orders."

"I can think of better ways to get exercise," He leered suggestively and reached out to grab one of her ankles, though she anticipated it and easily hopped out of the way.

"Yeah, well you won't be getting enough of _that_ to keep you fit, especially if you don't quit your complaining." She straightened up fully and stretched her arms as she looked up the beach to gauge how far they had left to her apartment. "Come on, just another couple hundred yards to go grandpa. Think you can handle that?"

She took a few steps backwards and shrugged her shoulders. "Walk if you like, though if you get a move on, you never know, you might make it back before I get out of the shower…." She arched an eyebrow suggestively and grinned before turning to run down the beach, blonde pony-tail streaming behind her.

Sawyer growled in mock frustration as he slammed a fist down on the sand. "Woman, you really will be the death of me!" He staggered to his feet and tore after her as fast as he could.

#####

As Juliet flitted about the kitchen making up sandwiches she caught herself humming and smiled indulgently. She put down the knife she was slicing tomatoes with and leaned against a counter as she contemplated the dramatic change her life had taken over the past two days. She bizarrely now had two sets of memories, each of them equally real to her and she now felt herself to be a strange dichotomy of gun-totting, badass Other and mild mannered, award winning scientist. If anyone else had told her that, she'd think they were certifiable: time travelling islands belong on tv or sci-fi novels, not real life and certainly not in hers. However, the presence of James and what they share is her proof that she's not going crazy. Getting her sister to understand that was another matter though, but she was determined to make this all work; to succeed in having both facets of her life exist in harmony. She couldn't do without either of them now she knew what it was to have them both and felt truly blessed to have this second chance.

She caught sight of a shirt Sawyer had discarded over the back of a stool and shook her head in distain - he'd definitely made himself at home already. Wiping her hands on a towel she walked round the counter and picked it up, intending to toss it into the laundry. She caught a whiff of his unique scent on it and raised it to her nose, closing her eyes and breathing deeply. Who'd have ever thought that this gruff and sarcastic conman would end up becoming so dear to her, especially given how they met and her initial attraction to Jack. She had to wonder what would have happened if they had never been stranded in time together, if Kate had remained a factor in his life. She mentally berated herself as soon as that thought formulated. There was no point going down the road of what ifs and James had more than proved that ultimately _she_ was his choice.

Sawyer entered the kitchen, a question on his lips, only to have it die as he was arrested by the sight before him. Juliet stood motionless, illuminated by the late morning sunshine streaming through the large windows. She looked beautiful in a simple navy blue sundress and hair damp and curly from her recent shower. Her eyes were closed and she had a dreamy expression on her face as she held what looked to be one of his shirts to her nose. He smugly crossed his arms across his chest and leant on the doorframe, watching her for a few seconds before speaking up.

"Y'know darlin', the real thing is standin' right here, watchin' you with that dopey look on yer face," he drawled, a slow grin appearing on his face as she jumped and glared at him before stalking over.

"This," she thrust the shirt at him, "belongs in the laundry. Do I need to rewrite the ground rules?" Her anger was an attempt to cover her embarrassment.

"No ma'am! Think I have them memorised after two years on the fridge!" He reached forward and tugged her towards him, arms snaking round her waist, and her anger and embarrassment melted. "Though it was worth the threat to catch you mooning over my shirt," he gently teased.

She leant her head against his chest as her mortification returned and grumbled, "Yeah well tidy up after yourself, I'm not you mother."

"A fact I'm well aware of," he whispered huskily into her ear before planting kisses down the side of her neck to her collarbone. "Mmmm… you smell not bad yourself…"

"Enough," she swatted him away and reluctantly stepped out of his embrace. "I need to get these sandwiches finished." As she moved away she got a good look at him.

"What on earth are you wearing???" She covered her mouth with her hand to stop from laughing.

"That's what I came in here to ask you. Is this OK for the beach, do you think?" As he spoke he spread his arms out in question. He had on a sleeveless t-shirt and an old pair of jeans cut-off into shorts.

"For muscle beach, maybe - in the early 90s."

"Well I don't usually do the beach, guess I didn't think to pack for every eventuality! This was the best I could find."

"The top's fine, but those shorts… no. For a start you know fine well they'll be hell as soon as they get wet and knowing my nephew, they will get wet."

He threw his arms up in exasperation. "Well what do you suggest? Don't want your sister to think I'm a complete ass."

She folded her arms and thought briefly before answering. "There's a surf store about five minutes drive down the beach. You have time, go and pick up some boardshorts." She turned back to the tomatoes and continued slicing.

"Aw, do I really have to?"

"Yes."

He sighed dramatically, grabbed his keys from the countertop and headed for the door.

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"Get some flip-flops too… and change out those ridiculous shorts first." She giggled as she kept her focus on slicing, ignoring his glare as he stomped back to the bedroom.


	12. Chapter 12

On a bit of a roll, I'm quite proud of this one...

**Chapter 12**

"I don't see why we couldn't have gone to the beach that was on our doorstep, rather than this drive and trek," Sawyer moaned as he followed Juliet down a rocky path, laden with chairs and a cool bag.

"Because this one is much nicer and quieter," she turned back to look at him, "Come on, where's your sense of adventure?"

"Yeah, give me a gun, it'll be just like old times," he muttered to himself before tripping slightly over a rock.

"We're almost…. Here," her tone was almost giddy as she finished and stepped away from the end of the path to show him the beach before them.

He looked about and had to admit she was right. They were at the edge of a beautiful sheltered bay of golden sand. It was also much quieter, with only a couple of groups of people dotted about and some surfers in the water. He let out an appreciative whistle.

"See! Told you it was worth it."

"Ok Blondie, you were right. No need to gloat. Let's get this stuff dumped."

They continued onto the sand, walking along until they found a suitable spot. They spent a few minutes silently getting set up, Juliet spread a blanket and some towels while Sawyer set out the chairs and an umbrella that Juliet had insisted on bringing to provide shade for Julian. It was a glorious late January day, with the temperature pushing the high seventies and a gentle breeze keeping it comfortable.

Sawyer stripped his t-shirt off and stood with his hands on his hips as he admired the view. Juliet sat back on the blanket and admired the view he provided; strong shoulders, lean torso (despite his body's protests at running earlier) and narrow hips, now encased in a much more appropriate pair of black boardshorts. He was truly beautiful, though he hated it when she voiced that opinion out loud. Claimed she'd damage his reputation as feared head of security if people ever heard her.

"I have to hand it to you, Jules, this really is gorgeous. Who needs desert islands, huh?" He turned to grin back at her and caught her staring intently at him.

"Hmmm…" she replied distractedly as a faint blush appeared on her cheeks. Breaking eye-contact she rummaged in her bag and produced a bottle of sunscreen. "C'mere and I'll put some sunscreen on your back." He obliged and crouched in front of her while she silently applied cream to his back and shoulders. Afterwards she tossed it over his shoulder for him to finish up himself.

Still with his back to her, he stood back up and concentrated on covering his chest, face and arms.

"Would you mind returning the favour when you're finished?"

He turned back round to find she'd removed her sundress and was now clad in just a plain black halter-neck bikini.

"Close your mouth James, you'll catch sandflies." She smirked impishly at him.

"Damn Juliet, just where have you been hiding that?" Her smirk widened as he dropped to his knees and crawled over the blanket towards her. She leaned back on her elbows as he towered over her, face inches from hers. He ran his hands over her shoulders and she shivered at the touch before he dropped them onto the blanket either side of her, effectively trapping her under his body.

"That smirk isn't very becoming, you know - blindsiding a guy like that. I'm just going to have to do something about it, I guess." He dipped his head the last few inches and kissed her deeply, causing her to groan in response. Her hands came up to cup his face and she broke away slightly to regard him, her eyes dark blue with lust.

"I love you so much, James."

He grinned and kissed the tip of her nose before answering, "I love you too. More than you'll ever know." She arched her body up further to catch his lips once more, arms sliding down around his neck to help support her weight. As the kiss deepened, he lowered them both back slightly, supporting them with his right arm as his left hand found and inched its way up her thigh, whilst she brought both her legs round to clasp her feet behind him. Both were completely oblivious to their surroundings until the distinct sound of someone clearing their throat could be heard a few feet away.

###

Rachel followed her son onto the beach, laughing as he struggled to keep hold of a large beach-ball. As he dropped it and scampered after it in the breeze, she stopped and scanned the beach for her sister. She finally spotted her sitting on a blanket about seventy yards away, James standing nearby applying sunscreen. She contemplated them for a second before moving, grudgingly admitting that whatever else he may be, the man was definitely something to look at.

"Come on, Julian. Your aunt's this way." She took off after making sure the toddler followed her lead. Keeping an eye on her goal she watched as he turned and stood for a second before dropping to his knees and crawled towards Juliet. Rachel grew slightly alarmed to see them kissing, though she relaxed when her sister broke away and was genuinely touched to see how happy she looked. However that quickly turned to downright shock as her usually staid little sister suddenly fervently kissed him back. From there it only grew more heated and Rachel grabbed Julian's hand to hurry him along the last few paces.

"What's Auntie Juliet doing?"

Rachel cursed under her breath before answering. This was so out of character, it was as if she had changed overnight. A nagging voice in the back of Rachel's mind questioned whether it really was overnight - if there could actually possibly be an element of truth in their harrowing tale from yesterday? She quickly quashed that thought as being beyond absurd and muttered a quick response to her son:

"Ah nothing, honey, just a game is all." By this time they had reached the horny teenagers and she cleared her throat as loudly as possible.

"Ahem! Don't mind us… or the rest of the beach for that matter. Quite a show we've got going on here…" She watched with some satisfaction as the pair gasped and broke apart guiltily. Juliet turned beet red while Sawyer sprang back onto his heels, unceremoniously dropping her back onto the blanket in the process.

"Uh, hey," Sawyer croaked and gulped as he nervously ran his hands through his hair, before jumping up to help divest her of her bags. "Glad you could make it, lemme get those."

"Ecstatic I'm sure by the looks of it," she smiled at him to soften the bite of her words then turned to grin in amusement at Juliet. She was shocked to see a flash of cold anger in her sister's gaze, a look she'd never encountered before. It was quickly gone however, replaced by a warm smile and hello before Juliet's attention turned to greeting Julian, leaving Rachel to wonder if she had imagined it.

"Hey squirt, that's quite a ball you've got there! Do you remember James from yesterday?"

"The cowboy?"

Sawyer laughed as he set down Rachel's bag and grabbed a juice box from the cooler. He crouched down by the toddler and offered it to him. "That's right, the cowboy! You thirsty?" The toddler grinned back at him, his apprehension from yesterday forgotten and took the juice before plonking himself down on the blanket beside his aunt. Sawyer looked over to Juliet for approval and she nodded back slightly, pride and love shining in her eyes. It was a look that wasn't missed by Rachel, causing her to doubt slightly her initial assessment of things as she sat down in one of the chairs.

"Would you like a drink Rachel?" Sawyer's voice interrupted her thoughts. "We have OJ, soda and it looks like someone snuck a bottle of white wine in here?" He flashed Juliet a look of mock surprise at the last.

"Yeah, did I forget to mention that you're the designated driver back?" She smiled sweetly and playfully nudged him with a foot.

"Ok, wine for the lush. Rachel?" He looked at her expectantly with an easy grin, complete with dimples. Rachel couldn't help but smile back, he was certainly very charming.

"Just orange, thanks." She took the offered drink and reached into her bag to toss a hat over to Juliet, who put it on Julian's head despite his protests.

"So how are you liking Miami, James?"

"Uh, likin' the weather that's for sure. Plenty of beaches."

"I would have thought you'd be sick of them after your… experiences?"

He apprehensively flashed a look at Juliet, but she was engrossed in something Julian was telling her and hadn't heard.

"To be honest, I thought I would be too, but your sister hasn't seemed to have lost any enthusiasm for it and if she's happy…" he looked again in Juliet's direction, this time with unconcealed fondness, before returning his gaze to Rachel and cocking his head to the side, nodded to himself and smiled, "… I'm happy. Corny I know, but what can ya do?

"The first 3 months after the crash were hard, but it wasn't all bad. We made the best of it and made a home for ourselves." He sighed slightly before continuing, "She's amazing. Believe us or don't believe us, but I'm not letting her go."

Rachel pursed her lips slightly as she considered this, and Sawyer was struck by the family resemblance.

"I'm starting to get a sense of that. What rank did she place when she graduated medical school?"

"She came second, was devastated. But last she heard he was a GP in some dead-end town in Montana so she's over it. That all you got?"

"How did she get that small scar near the inside crease on her right elbow?"

"She gave blood once and they couldn't find a vein in the usual spot. They eventually got one further round, but it left a tiny scar." He noticed she was surprised he knew this. It was a very small scar. "So, do I pass?"

"Not yet, I'm impressed, I'll give you that. But I reserve the right to ask more before I'm satisfied," she replied archly.

He nodded in understanding. "Bring it on, I'll be ready and waiting." His attention shifted back to Juliet and Julian, who were now playing together in the sand and his heart melted at the adorable picture they made.

"Sweet kid you've got there. A credit to you."

"Couldn't do any of it without her: before _and_ after the birth. Sure ain't easy being a single parent."

Her words caused him to think about Cassidy and Clementine, and a lump formed in his throat at the regret and guilt he felt. "I can imagine," he mumbled sadly, looking down at his hands.

Rachel wasn't sure what she'd said to make him so melancholy all of a sudden. She desperately looked around as she tried to think of something to lighten the mood. She got distracted however by her sister's shoulders.

"Uh, Jules, your back is looking a little pink there."

Juliet's head snapped up in surprise and met Sawyer's eyes. They'd gotten distracted and forgotten about it earlier. He jumped up and hurried behind her, grabbing the lotion as he went.

"Sorry, I forgot! Lemme get it." He started gingerly applying it to her back. "Does it hurt?" he asked as he did so, his voice tinged with worry.

"Nah, just a little warm. Don't worry about it." She reached behind and patted his hand, "I'll forgive you this time." Rachel was again impressed, this time with the tenderness he showed her as he tended to her back. He finished with a flourish and soft kiss on her shoulder, forgetting that they had an audience.

"Anywhere else?" he whispered suggestively in her ear and she giggled before slapping his arm.

"No, I'm good. Did the rest before I got dressed."

He smirked and looked over at Julian, who had now tired of the sand and had risen to retrieve his ball. "Hey Julian, want to show me your beach-ball skills?" He looked over at Rachel for permission, who merely smiled back faintly and nodded.

Sawyer rose and approached Julian, who happily took his offered hand, in awe of his aunt's friend, and they set off to play closer to the water.

For a few minutes the two women sat in companionable silence watching the boys toss the ball about. Juliet was thrilled that Julian had seemed to take to James so easily and smiled indulgently at the sight they made.

Rachel was first to break the silence. "I have to hand it to him, he's quite the charmer. Julian's smitten already."

"That he is." Juliet's gaze remained steadfast on James.

"Are you _really_ sure about all this? About him?"

Juliet turned to look at her sister, her blue eyes calm and determined, and replied with a decisiveness that was alien to Rachel, "I am. More than anything." She looked back over at the game.

"You look at him and you see a Southern charmer, all smooth words and handsome smiles. I don't blame you, on the face of it, that's what he his. But I don't. I see a small boy whose father shot his mother then himself, whilst he hid under the bed. Whose childhood died, right there with his parents. Raised by an uncle who did his best but wasn't fit to be a father, he craved love and acceptance though never quite believed he deserved either. Fuelled by confused anger and rage, he grew up to be the very man he despised – who had conned his mother out of their money, causing his father to snap. Yet inside he remained that little boy, afraid and alone, hiding from the world. Then his plane crashed and it was a living hell, but he discovered all those things he sought: within himself and in others. He's loyal, brave and selfless. He's strong, gentle and loving. He's funny, intelligent and kind. He's all those things and more and I love him for it. He's beautiful. You just have to cut through all the bullshit to see it."

"Wow. That was… you've changed Jules. I feel right now like I only half know you."

Juliet wiped a tear from her eye and looked over at her sister once more and smiled sadly. "I have. I'm not the person I was 48 hours ago, but it's taken me six long years to get to this point, then another three to remember it. I've done things I would never have thought I was capable of, good and bad. Things I'm ashamed of. But I've found peace." She closed her eyes and swallowed before whispering, "Please believe me."

Rachel reached out and took her sister's hand. "I do. I sure as hell don't understand how it's possible, but I do. Seeing you like this, watching the two of you, I get it. I believe you." At this Juliet opened her eyes. They shone with hopefulness and unshed tears and once more she was the little sister Rachel knew and loved and was fiercely protective of. "I'll try to cut through the bullshit. I promise."

"Thank you."

Juliet wiped her eyes and rose to her feet. She dusted the sand off her legs and smiled widely back at her sister before turning to walk towards her two boys. Sawyer saw her and stopped to admire her approach.

"Come to show us how it's done?" His questioning grin turned to one of mild surprise as she wordlessly reached him. His arms automatically opened to receive her as she leaned close to give him a chaste but impassioned kiss.

"Hmm… what was that for? Not that I'm complainin'."

She merely gave him a dazzling smile that lit up her eyes, then closes them while hugging him close as she whispered in his ear, "She believes us."

"Huh. She does, does she?" He looked over her shoulder to direct a questioning gaze back at Rachel. She responded with a genuine smile and small wave to which he replied with a respectful nod. He tenderly kissed Juliet on her forehead before releasing her and stepped back to look her in the eye.

"That's great news, sweetheart. How did you manage to convince her?"

"I just told her why I love you."

"Well who could argue with that?" he laughed. "Maybe one of these days you'll tell me."

"Maybe," she laughed and turned to Julian. "Want to play in the waves?"

"Yeah!" Without waiting Julian took off at full speed to the surf. The pair had to dash to reach him in time. Sawyer caught up first and swung the boy up and over his shoulder.

"Easy there tiger! Don't want the waves dragging you in do we? I'll let you down if you promise to keep hold of one of our hands. We got a deal?"

Julian squealed and squirmed in his grasp, screaming his assent through a fit of giggles before Sawyer set him back down where the waves had lost their force and were gently lapping the sand. Juliet caught his other hand and the trio splashed and paddled to the toddler's delight. Rachel looked on fondly for a few minutes before sitting back with her eyes closed and enjoyed the sun.

####

Juliet stepped out onto the balcony to find Sawyer sitting there, a nearly full bottle of beer cradled forgotten in his hands as he stared out at the ink-black waves with a faraway look on his face.

"Hey," she said softly as she leaned back against the glass. He blinked slowly and twisted his head round to look at her.

"Hey, sweetcheeks." He smiled up at her, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. She stepped over to him in mild concern and ran her hand through his hair. He reached back and curved an arm round her waist and tugged in silent invitation. She sat down on the offered knee and kissed his temple lightly.

"Whassup? You've been quiet all evening. Everything Ok?"

He sighed and smoothed his palm over her back in small circles, looking back out into the night as he collected his thoughts. "I had fun today," he stated simply.

Juliet leaned her head against the side of his, wondering how that fit into his current somber mood. "I'm glad." She knew from experience to keep her responses simple and let him dictate the flow of the conversation when he got like this.

"Julian's a blast ain't he?"

"Yeah," she chucked slightly at some of her nephew's antics earlier that day. He had certainly kept Sawyer on his toes.

"Been thinkin'… he must be about the same age as Clementine… give or take…" he took a long swallow of his beer and the penny dropped. His daughter wasn't something they'd talked about much but when they had, he tended to beat himself up about it. At first he had been adamant that he would have been a useless father and she was better off without him, but as time had gone on and he'd started to think better of himself, this had slowly turned into regret that he hadn't even tried when he had the chance. She hugged him a little tighter.

"I think… I think I want to see her Jules. Meet her if Cass will let me. What do you think?"

"I think you should," she replied simply. He turned his head back towards hers so their foreheads and noses touched. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Will you come with me?" She smiled slightly at the fact that he even felt that he had to ask. It was lost on him as his eyes had remained closed as he awaited her response.

"Of course I will, James."


	13. Chapter 13

Hmm… not so sure how happy I am with this chapter, though I can't quite put my finger on why. Anyhoo here we go…

**Chapter 13**

Two days later found Sawyer twisting apprehensively in his seat as they waited for their flight bound for Albuquerque to take off. Juliet flipped through the in-flight magazine and pretended to ignore him.

"I wish you'd told me when you booked the flight that you got us first class. I can't afford this!"

"I wasn't expecting you to and I can." Juliet replied, not looking up from what she was reading.

"Well I ain't having you splash your cash on me. I don't like it and Rachel will have a field day." He continued to squirm and his breath was slightly laboured. He inadvertently caught the eye of a buxom flight attendant who gave him a saccharine smile. He grimly smiled back before huffing loudly. "I'm not going to be a kept man, Jules. I'm paying you back."

Juliet dropped her magazine in exasperation and rolled her eyes. "Fine, you can do so when you get a job. I don't want any of your crooked money." She smiled to take the sting out of her words before laying a calming hand on his arm to still his movements.

"Look, how are you feeling right now?" She enquired softly.

"Honestly?"

"Honestly." She squeezed his arm compassionately.

"Terrified," he admitted, exhaling with a whoosh of air.

"Exactly. You're about to look up your daughter for the first time and you survived a plane crash. How did you get through the flight to Miami?"

He closed his eyes and dropped his head down and to the side, towards hers. "Lots and lots of Jack Daniels," he admitted. "Though I had no idea at the time just why I'd suddenly developed a fear of flying." Of course she got it.

She reached up and gently stroked his hair, her palm lingering on his cheek. "Well I don't think Cassidy would appreciate you turning up smelling of a distillery and I'm certainly not looking after you drunk. So I just wanted to make this flight as easy and as comfortable for you as possible.

"I promise you won't be a kept man. I don't want you to feel emasculated and I definitely won't be wasting all my hard earned cash on _you_. Shoes maybe, but not you." He opened his eyes and smiled at her attempt at humour and kissed her forehead before she continued. "When all this settles down and we figure out what the hell we're doing, I want us to be equals in this relationship. We were before and that shouldn't change. You'll find something you like doing, whatever that might be. But I won't apologise for having a well paid job and money to spend, James."

"I wouldn't want you to. I'm insanely proud of my woman the genius! Shame I don't have no-one to boast to." He grinned and put his arm round her shoulders, pulling her into him. "I'm sorry for acting like an ass," he whispered. "Thank you for trying to make this easier. What did I do to deserve you?"

"My choices were somewhat limited in the seventies," she commented dryly.

"Oh I don't know, think Miles would have been interested," Sawyer smirked and he felt her laugh briefly into his chest before pulling back to soberly look at him.

"I wonder how he is. Do you think Widmore would still have sent them? If he did we've missed it by about a month."

He shrugged as he considered this, "I guess it's possible, if Ben is still there."

"Though without Jack, the tumour wouldn't have been removed. But then Ethan would likely still be alive, he may have managed to successfully operate." She sighed, "There's too many variables to know anything for sure."

"Miles might be hard to track down, but Einstein and Pollyanna should be easier, shouldn't they? What with their academic backgrounds. Maybe we could look them up, try to find out if they've recently fallen off the radar? Put our minds at rest at least?"

"But if they have? To think we could have stopped them."

"They went there willingly - they knew what they were getting into. Who knows how us not being there has changed things? We can't beat ourselves up over what's out of our control, Juliet."

"I guess," she replied, not entirely pacified, but letting it drop for now.

They settled back into their seats as the Captain announced their imminent departure and ran through the safety procedures, Sawyer a lot calmer than he had been a few minutes prior.

####

As the car rolled to a stop outside the attractive bungalow situated on a sunny suburban street, both occupants looked up the drive towards the house then back at each other.

"Guess this is it," Sawyer whispered, nervously.

"Pretty house… nice street, looks like Cassidy is doing Ok for herself," Juliet noted as she looked about.

"You didn't find out what she's doing?" Sawyer double checked.

"Nope, just an address I'm afraid."

Sawyer nodded and took a deep breath as he unbuckled his seatbelt. "How do I look?" Juliet had made sure he had put on a smart shirt and dark pants before they left the hotel. He looked respectable and clean-cut without it seeming that he was trying too hard and coming off as someone he wasn't. They were well aware that Cassidy knew just exactly who he was and what he had been and it was important that he came across as being sincere.

"Handsome," she smiled and reached over to straighten his collar slightly. "Breathe, James, it's going to be fine. You're not the same man you were last time you saw her and you deserve to be that little girl's father. I'm so proud of you, don't forget that."

"Ok." He nodded decisively to psyche himself up and swung out of the car. Looking back he saw that she hadn't moved. "You not comin'?"

She shook her head and smiled once more in encouragement. "Not this time, you need to do this on your own. I doubt she'd appreciate my presence." She reached into a bag on the back seat and pulled out a handful of medical journals. "Take your time - I've got plenty to keep me busy here. Good luck."

He conceded her point and closed his car door. Smiling grimly back at her he nodded again and turned to walk up the path in the midday sun. Ringing the bell, he held his breath as he awaited an answer.

After an eternity the door finally swung open to reveal someone Sawyer once doubted he'd ever see again. Cassidy stared blankly at him for a second before gasping and stepped backwards in shock.

"What the hell do you want???" She hissed, her eyes narrowed in anger.

"To apologise, hopefully," he ducked his head slightly and looked up at her through lowered lashes, "You look good Cass," he stated softly. Hands in his pocket, he was the picture of contrition.

"They let you out then? I'd heard you weren't banged up for long. How did you swing that?" she asked suspiciously, arms folded defensively across her chest.

"Would you believe me if I said I got parole for good behaviour?" She snorted inelegantly at this.

"Hardly."

"Well best not to dwell on it then, all that matters is they let me out, fair and square. Can I come in?"

"Why?" She definitely wasn't making this first step easy.

"So I can apologise properly, like you deserve. Please Cassidy," he pleaded unreservedly, "Give me five minutes, hear me out. I ain't no danger to anyone, I promise."

"I seem to recall your promises not being up to much in the past!" She retorted, although her stance softened slightly and he could tell she was wavering.

"Come on…"

She sighed in exasperation before silently re-entering the house, leaving the door open in reluctant invitation. He followed her into a well-lit and tastefully decorated living room. She sat down on a sofa, adopted a hostile posture and looked at him expectantly while he paced in front of her, his mouth suddenly dry.

"Well?"

"I…uh… I'm not sure where to start." Now, standing in front of her, his mind had gone blank. He ran his hands through his hair to try to steady his nerves, wishing Juliet was here now. He thought of her waiting outside and this calmed him slightly.

"I'm sorry, Cassidy. So sorry for everything: for conning you and taking that money. Gordy had threatened to kill you if I hadn't. I really did care for you Cassidy, you have to believe that. More than anything I'm sorry for not being there for you and our daughter."

She scrutinised him for a second, then turned her head to look out the window as she took in his words. "What has prompted all this? Why crawl out of the woodwork now?"

"I've done a lot of growing up since you last saw me. Tryin' to change my ways." He sat down on an opposite sofa and sighed deeply as he fixed her with a sincere gaze, praying she would believe him. "I've turned my back on all that shit. Until recently I was working as head of security for a research company in Ann Arbour."

"But not now?" Cassidy made no attempt to mask the scepticism in her voice.

"No, I've moved to Miami. I had to find someone. I haven't got a new job yet, but I will."

"And did you? Find who you were looking for?" Despite her reservations, she was curious to hear what he had to say for himself.

"Yeah," A huge grin spread over his face at this. "Yeah, I did."

"Sounds like you've got it all sorted. Why come all the way here?"

"I want to be a father - I want to see my little girl, Cass. If you'll let me. Is she here?"

At this Cassidy flew off the sofa and stalked to the window before rounding back on him in anger. "Oh this is rich Sawyer, even for you! What makes you think you can just rock on up here when you feel like it, feed me some cock-and-bull story and demand to see _my _daughter after over two years of ignoring her existence???

"No, she's not here, thank God! She's at daycare." Turning her back on him, she glared out at the street.

"Look, I don't expect you to believe me straight off, just like that. Not after what I've done. But I swear Cass, I'll do whatever it takes to prove to you I've changed, that I can be a good father."

"You don't even know the meaning of the word…" she scorned before movement at the end of the drive distracted her. "Is that your car? Sawyer, who's that outside?"

"Uh, that's my girlfriend. Juliet." He got up and apprehensively approached her at the window. This wasn't going well at all.

"Let me guess, from Miami?" Suspicion had returned to her voice once more.

"Yeah."

"She's very pretty. Why don't you bring her on in? Introduce me properly." Her tone indicated it wasn't a question.

"Uh, sure. I'll, eh… be right back." He rushed out the house and down the drive, aware of her eyes on him from the window. Juliet looked up startled from her reading as he threw open her door and crouched down to her eye level.

"How did it go?" He hadn't been gone that long and she worried that this wasn't a good sign.

"She wants to meet you," he hissed urgently.

"You told her about me?"

"Not as such, she looked out the window and saw you. It's not going too well in there. Please come back in with me." Juliet saw his desperation and nodded wordlessly before taking his offered hand and got out of the car.

"I told her that I had a security job in Ann Arbour for a while and just moved to Miami. She figured out that it was to see you. I haven't told her anything else yet, nothing about us."

"Ok. We'll convince her James. Somehow, we'll convince her to at least give you a chance." She grabbed his hand and squeezed it as they approached the doorstep. They entered the house and Sawyer led her back through to the living room. Cassidy was still at the window, leaning against it as she faced the door.

"Cassidy, this is Juliet." Juliet kept her face impassive as Cassidy not-so-subtly sized her up.

"Charmed." Cassidy flashed a fleeting and cold smile before returning her attention to Sawyer. "So this is your latest partner in crime is it? Not your usual type, I grant you." Juliet felt his hand tense in hers and she quickly squeezed it to stop him from reacting. She wanted to hear what Cassidy had to say first. She appeared emotional and Juliet sensed letting her anger bring everything out into the open might be the easiest way to handle this. They had to stay calm.

"We're not here to con you, I can assure you, Cassidy. He just wants to see his daughter, nothing else," she stated softly in the soothing voice she'd perfected during her time on the island. If there was one thing she was grateful to them for, it was the negotiation and persuasion techniques that were now second nature to her.

"Like I'm going to believe that! What can I possibly have left that you'd want? You already took everything," She spat in Sawyer's direction. "I'm not letting you within a hundred feet of Clementine. Either of you!"

"We're not on the game Cass, she's a doctor. We met at the research facility in Michigan."

At this Cassidy let out a short, humourless laugh. "A doctor? Really, you couldn't have picked an occupation I'm less likely to believe! What would a doctor see in you Sawyer? I have to tell you honey, if you really are, then you're in for a rude awakening. Just because you think you know all about his conning ways, don't for a second think he's not doing a number on you!"

"We're telling the truth. I'm a fertility doctor, I treat cancer patients. He's not conning me, of that I'm certain." She stated slowly and confidently.

"He may have told you what he wants you to know, but don't think you know him. I doubt anyone really does."

"I do, believe me, I do. I know all about his past. I know what he did to you. I know how sorry he is over it, how the guilt still eats him up sometimes late at night when he thinks I'm asleep. How all he wants is to put things right."

Sawyer looked sharply over at Juliet at this, not aware she'd picked up on the last. She slept like the dead. She graced him with a sympathetic smile before returning her attention to Cassidy once more. Dropping his hand, she indicated towards the sofa Sawyer had previously occupied:

"May I?" Cassidy wordlessly nodded her assent and also moved to sit back in her seat.

"I'm sorry, you seem like a nice person, but I'm not buying it. I don't believe you have it in you to change, Sawyer. It _has_ to be money you're after. You're not getting it and you're not seeing Clem." She sighed with finality and stood once more. "Now, is that all?"

Sawyer was at a loss and ready to give up, however Juliet silently regarded Cassidy for a second as she weighed up their options. Her unwavering cool gaze was starting to make Cassidy uncomfortable and she was about to assert her desire for them to leave, when Juliet softly addressed Sawyer, her eyes not leaving Cassidy.

"James, do you still have that newspaper article on you?" She gently enquired.

"Uh, yeah, it's in a bag in the car."

She broke eye-contact with Cassidy and smiled brightly at Sawyer, "Would you mind getting it for me please?"

Understanding dawned and he smiled proudly back at her. If they could just prove they were telling the truth about Juliet; that was a start they could build on. "Of course, I'll be right back." He looked apprehensively at both of them in turn before he left the room, slightly worried about leaving them alone.

Once alone, the two women warily regarded each other in silence for a moment. Whilst Cassidy wondered just who the hell this stranger was and the likelihood of her telling the truth, Juliet contemplated on how this was the second of Sawyer's past loves she had come face-to-face with. He shared a daughter with this woman and would always be bound to her in some small part; a part that would grow significantly bigger if they were successful today. She'd be lying to herself if she denied that she had any nagging insecurities, but this meant so much to him and she had faith in their own ties that had brought them together again. Everyone has their ties that bind, she thought, no matter what reality. There was no escaping them no matter how much we may want to, and not one to run from adversary (she knew from experience how well that turned out last time when she tried to run from a _look_) she would accept this woman before her and all that she represented with as much grace as she could.

"So how long have you been together?" Cassidy eventually broke the silence.

"Long enough," was Juliet's enigmatic reply. There was nothing she could say to elaborate further without getting into a tricky situation. They might have come clean with Rachel, but there was no way they could do so with Cassidy.

"I pity you, you know. He's good at making you believe you're his whole world. You are obviously aware there have been countless others before you, granted most of them didn't know that. But even if you are telling the truth and he's no longer conning, he won't stick around, he can't handle the commitment. Doesn't have it in him. That's why I don't want him around my daughter – he may think this is what he wants now, but I don't believe that will last. Before I know it he will be off again."

As Cassidy gave her speech, Juliet could tell that she still harboured unresolved feelings for him; at the very least bitterness, resentment and hurt that he had abused her love. Clementine must be a constant reminder of these for her, and Juliet couldn't help but empathise.

"I'm sorry that you feel that way, it's understandable after what he did to you. But James _has_ changed. I know he loves me, I'm sorry if that pains you, but a lot has happened to him since you saw him last. All we ask for is a chance to prove it to you. This means the world to him."

Sawyer's reappearance prevented Cassidy from answering this. He approached her and handed her the newspaper that had prompted his dash to Miami. "Look, this is proof we're not lying. This isn't a con."

Cassidy took a moment to read the offered article, slightly stunned at the contents. Doctor didn't quite cover the achievements of the blonde sitting across from her it seemed. Nor was it likely that she was short of a buck, which would go a long way to explaining what Sawyer was doing with her, she noted.

"You've won a Nobel Prize?" She asked in awe. Juliet ducked her head slightly in embarrassment and shrugged her shoulders and it was the first time since she'd entered that Cassidy had seen this woman's cool composure slip. It was momentarily though, and the mask was back in place as she looked Cassidy in the eyes once more.

"That's not important, we just wanted to show you that I am who I say I am. There should be more on Google if you need more proof."

Cassidy nodded weakly as she handed the article back to Sawyer. "No that's not necessary, I believe you."

"Do you believe that I'm sincere in my reasons for being here? Look Cass, I'm here to stand up to my responsibility, I understand if it's too little too late, but even if you don't let me see her I want to pay my dues and contribute financially – pay you back what I took and give you child support. It may take a while, but I'll do whatever it takes."

"I don't know, it's a lot to take in…" she tailed off, unsure now what to make of it all. The fight had gone out of her, leaving confusion in its wake.

Juliet flashed a warm smile and stood up. "Well, we'll let you think about it. Thank you for your time, Cassidy, we really appreciate it."

Sawyer pulled a hotel card from his pocket and handed it to her. "This is where we're staying at, please give us a call. My cell is also on the back. I'll be there as long as it takes to hear from you, either way." Cassidy took it and nodded distractedly.

"We'll show ourselves out," Juliet grabbed Sawyer's arm and practically dragged him out the door. As they silently walked back to the car, Juliet cast him a glance to see that he looked somewhat shell-shocked and exhausted as the adrenaline of the situation wore off. He stood there numbly when they reached the car and she grabbed his hand to get his attention.

"Hey, I think it went Ok. You did your best. All we can do now is wait." He nodded slightly, still lost in his own thoughts. "Oh, James. C'mere." She reached up to pull him into a tight hug, which he gratefully sunk into, leaning his head on her shoulder. She reached into his pocket and removed the car keys then kissed his forehead before stepping back once more.

"I'll drive. Let's go find a bar and have a drink. You look like you need one." He smiled slightly at this and obediently climbed into the passenger seat as she moved to the driver's side.

"Thanks. I needed you in there."

She smiled warmly at him as she started the engine before pulling away from the kerb. "Don't mention it. I got your back don't I?"

From the window, Cassidy's doubts increased as she watched the whole exchange in wonder.


	14. Chapter 14

Thanks as always to all the wonderful reviews, I'm astounded to have amassed so many. I have to credit each and every one of them for keeping me going with this. It takes a lot for me to embark on any fanfic and I've never gotten past a few chapters before. So Qudos to you all! Particular shout-out to a few new readers who have reviewed a lot as they caught up in this last week.

Have to admit this for the most part is fluffy filler, but I'm about to go away for two weeks and wanted to get something out there before I go, rather than just abruptly abandon it without word. But really I just wanted to write them a little drunk.

I'm spending a few days each in Seattle and Vancouver so maybe I'll be lucky enough to get some EM stalking in!

Oh and I changed a very slight detail in the last chapter to make this feasible. Sawyer also gave Cassidy his cell-phone number on that card.

**Chapter 14**

It was quite the inebriated pair that stumbled into their hotel foyer many hours later. After returning with the rental car once they had left Cassidy's, they had walked out into the city for a while, before heading into a suitable bar for an early casual dinner and a few drinks. As the liquor eased away the rollercoaster of emotions that the last few days had heaped on them both, this had turned into quite a lot more than just a few. It was a rare opportunity in which they had nothing to do but wait and enjoy each other's company; no pasts to catch up on and get their heads around, no family to charm or trips to organise. Sawyer's cell-phone had lain on the table throughout, but like a watch pot that never boils, it had remained silent.

Once through the door, Sawyer's arm slung across her shoulders, Juliet strode towards the front desk with as much determination as she could summon through the alcoholic haze.

"Hi…" she squinted slightly at the nametag, "Dave! Have there been any calls for room… uh…" she turned in confusion to Sawyer, who was subtly attempting to use the desk to maintain his equilibrium, "James, what room number are we?"

"Uhm…" He pulled the keycard out of his pocket, hoping it would be on there. It wasn't. "It's definitely on the third floor," he slurred confidently. "I know _where_ it is. 308? No, 312? I think it was even." He shrugged helplessly at her, and she glared back at his uselessness, forgetting she was no better.

"Perhaps ma'am, you could tell me your name instead?" The receptionist interrupted, making no attempt to conceal the distain and exasperation in his voice. It was not lost on either of them and their heads immediately snapped back to regard him. Juliet's eyes narrowed as she coolly regarded the man before succinctly replying:

"Dr Burke."

"Yeah, that's right Basil Fawlty, you can wipe that look of yer face." Sawyer leaned over to snarl at the guy, overcompensating slightly and ending up closer than he intended. "Not just any doctor," He leaned back, clutching her shoulder in pride (and necessity), "Nobel _prize_ winning doctor." A thought suddenly struck him and he turned to Juliet, his rant momentarily forgotten "Say, that give you any more letters after yer name?"

She giggled girlishly at this and he grinned back at the rare sight. "No, unfortunately."

"Hmm… shame." He shrugged his shoulders as he drunkenly contemplated this.

The clerk cleared his throat to gain their attention once more. "I'm sorry Dr Burke, there have been no messages left. Room 316." He smiled apologetically at her, though still reserved a disgusted glance for Sawyer once she had nodded her acknowledgement and turned to move away.

"Thanks anyway, Dave. 316, got it." She replied brightly as she took a step towards the elevator.

Sawyer however, had caught the guy's look and wasn't about to let it drop. "Hey bellboy, don't think I don't know what yer thinkin', _what's a woman like her doing with him?_" He pointed in the clerk's face in anger and continued, "Lemme tell you bud, together nearly three years, give or take some… stuff. It's been a tough week and we're just blowin' off some steam. As a payin' customer, I'm demandin' yer respect. This ain't… Pretty Woman in reverse or nothing!"

Juliet had returned to his side and gently removed his pointed finger, before also leaning over slightly to add, "You can't deny he sure is pretty though," then pulled Sawyer away, ignoring both men's incredulous looks. "Come on James, he's not worth it." They could hear the clerk's failed attempt at coughing to cover his laughter as she dragged him to the elevator.

"Pretty!!" Sawyer spluttered as soon as the elevator doors closed behind them. She shrugged and smirked at him as she pushed the button.

"It was _your_ analogy."

"I'm tryin' to give that punk what for and you call me pretty!?!" He crossed his arms petulantly and sulked. Grinning, she snuggled into his side and placed teasing kisses along his clenched jawline.

"I'm sorry. Tell me what I can do to make it up to you, pretty boy," she whispered huskily. She could feel his stance soften under her ministrations and his breathing become slightly laboured as he unfolded his arms and pulled her closer.

"Well now that you mention it, there's something about elevators…" he was about to elaborate with a practical demonstration, when the bell dinged their floor and the doors opened to reveal a mildly surprised elderly couple. Juliet quickly shimmied out of his grasp and slunk out of the elevator.

"Sorry James, too slow on the uptake there…" She gave the couple an embarrassed smile as she passed and somewhat unsteadily made her way up the hall. Sawyer exited after her and also nodded to them. He stood for a second and watched the couple's interaction before hurrying to catch up with Juliet.

"Hey Goldilocks, think we'll ever be like them?" She stopped and looked quizzically back at him, not understanding. He nodded back at the elderly couple and they both looked back in time to catch the man gallantly usher the woman into the elevator. Sawyer slung his arm around her shoulders once more and she leaned her head into his.

"Hmm… would be nice." They carried on towards their room at a slow pace, neither quite sure who was holding whom up.

"Been thinkin'. Is this technically our first proper date or that steakhouse back in Miami do you think? Not sure I want either to be. Back there it wasn't really _us_ and this… don't want you thinkin' I'm the sorta guy that takes beautiful women out to dive bars and gets them liquored up on the first date, before back to his hotel room in the hopes of getting lucky, do I?"

She sniggered at this and hugged him tighter.

"I mean, I want our first real date, in the real world to be somethin' special, don't you? Fancy dinner, moonlight stroll, all hearts and flowers. Ain't never done all that before."

"Sounds like heaven." She raised her head to look him in the eye. "Though if you're wanting to be technical, shouldn't we include Las Vegas?" His eyes darkened and she remembered that he'd mentioned that night had ended in incarceration for him. "Ok maybe not. Tell you what, why don't we forget about last week, because that was just too… strange… and have lots of first dates?" She sighed dreamily before elaborating. "First romantic dinner, first trip to the movies, first ball game… This can just be our first _drunken afternoon in a bar _date."

They had reached their door by this point and Sawyer took out his keycard and attempted to open it. He stuck it in a few times with no success before looking over at her and smiling widely.

"Whatever makes you happy Sunshine. Lots of first dates it'll be then." He kissed her quickly before turning back to the door once more. She let him try a few more times before taking it off him.

"While I don't want you thinking I'm the sort of girl that gets liquored up then puts out on a first date…" She paused and gave him a sultry look whilst successfully opening the lock at the first try, "You might just get lucky on some of those first dates…" She turned and entered the room, him hot on her heels.

#####

The mid-morning sun streamed through the window as Juliet sat cross-legged on the hotel bed, nursing a strong coffee and flicking aimlessly through tv channels. Sawyer emerged whistling from the bathroom, face covered in shaving foam and clad in a towel. He cast her a quick glance as he proceeded to root through a suitcase. Dressed casually in shorts and a t-shirt, hair still damp from the shower and no make-up on, she looked remarkably young. She also looked to be suffering from the night before.

"You seen my razor at all, Pippy?" He eventually tossed over after a fruitless search.

She took a long sip of coffee and sighed dramatically before musing, "How can you possibly be so chipper after last night?"

He grinned at her look of self-pity before answering, "Years of dedicated practise and the love of a good woman. The razor?"

She rolled her eyes before returning her attention to the television, "It's in the shower, I borrowed it earlier."

He tossed her a frustrated glare that went unnoticed, so he approached the bed whilst moaning, "Aw now it will be blunt! You have your own, why didn't you use that?"

She shrugged unrepentantly before answering, "It was in the case, yours was by the sink." By now he had reached the bed and she gave a yelp of surprise as he grabbed her and kissed her cheek, rubbing shaving foam on her in the process.

"James! Cut it out! I've just showered."

"Yeah well, that'll teach you for stealing my razor!"

"For goodness sake, use mine then!" She grabbed a nearby towel and attempted to clean her cheek.

"I'm not using no girly razor, with their scented strips and shit." He grumbled as he made his way back into the bathroom.

Five minutes later, she was watching the news when a photo appeared which made her heart stop. "James! Come see this! Now!" She grabbed the remote and turned up the volume as he emerged whilst drying his face, worried at the panic in her voice.

"Where's the fire?" He too stopped in shock as he caught sight of the news item.

"…_charged with the ruthless murder of her step-father and countless other crimes including fraud, arson and assault, preliminary hearings got underway yesterday at the trial of Ms Austen. Bail was denied, no small surprise given the fugitive's previous failed escape to Australia, and a trial date set for six weeks time… in other news…"_

Sawyer sat down heavily on the bed as Juliet clicked off the television. For a few minutes silence reigned as they both processed the news.

"I guess it was to be expected wasn't it. It _was_ where she was headed when we crashed."

"I think we should try to help her, James." Juliet stated quietly. At this he jumped back up off the bed and gaped at her in disbelief.

"Are you crazy??? After everything that's happened, why would _you_ want to help her?"

"Why would _you_ not want to?!? None of it was all her fault, really. She has no money, no friends, how can you stand by and do nothing?"

"Cos she's been nothin' but trouble, Juliet – trouble for us especially. I'm not risking losing you again over Kate. She probably doesn't even remember!"

"Probably not, but that's not reason enough not to try. Or do you still have feelings for her, is that it?"

"No!" He sighed in frustration at where this was going, "I don't know… I don't want to find out. I love _you_, not her. I don't want anything to do with her."

"Well that's a cowardly attitude to take." He bowed his head in remorse at her disappointed tone.

"What if us turning up makes her remember, is that not cruel? What if she's better off not knowing?"

"Life imprisonment is a happy alternative is it? Look, I'm not saying us getting involved will somehow make everything magically right, but shouldn't we at least try? Get her a better lawyer at least? What about Jack?"

Fury sparked in his eyes at the mention of that name. He crossed his arms defiantly, seeing where this was going.

"No!" He growled, stance firm. She crossed her own arms to mimic his posture and they silently glared at each other for a period, neither willing to back down. Eventually Juliet huffed in exasperation, reached for her sneakers and flopped onto the bed to wordlessly put them on. Afterwards she stood, pulled her hair back into a ponytail and glared at him once more before heading for the door.

"Where the hell are you going?"

"I'm going for a run." With that she yanked open the door and left. He stood there for a beat, confused at what the hell had just happened, before snapping into action and frantically pulled on some clothes. There was no way he was going to let her walk away with this argument unresolved. They had to talk about it rationally. Just as he was tying his own shoes, his cell-phone rang. He grabbed it, hoping it would be her despite how unlikely that was. She hadn't appeared to take her own phone or any money. The number was a local one: it could only be one person.

Cassidy.

"Shit," he growled, torn between what to do.


	15. Chapter 15

Sorry it's taken so long to update, it's taken me quite a bit to get back into it to be honest and I found this chapter tough going, especially some of the dialogue. Not so sure how happy I am with the results but here it is. Hope you enjoy it so I can move on and get some momentum back!

**Chapter 15**

Sawyer sat nervously on a bench outside their hotel, waiting for Juliet's return. After deciding that he wouldn't have been able to catch up with her anyway, he had apprehensively answered Cassidy's call instead. Whilst she hadn't yet consented to allowing him to see Clementine, she had relented enough to request that he meet her for lunch the next day to discuss it further. It was more than he had hoped for and despite their fight and the cause of it, he couldn't wait to share the news with Juliet. If only she'd hurry up and return already.

"Do you want to know why Albuquerque sucks?" He twisted round in his seat to find Juliet standing behind him, hands on her hips as she struggled to regain her breath. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she moved round to flop down on the bench next to him.

"Enlighten me, Sunshine."

"There are no beaches to run to when you need to blow off steam." He snorted slightly at this and tossed her a sidewise glance, trying to gauge her mood.

"I'm sorry," she bumped her shoulder against his affectionately. "It was a shock and I shouldn't have been so stubborn and pig-headed about getting involved. I understand why you wouldn't want to."

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair before reaching his arm over her shoulders and drew her closer.

"No, I'm sorry. You were right, we can't just ignore it. We're both too stubborn I guess." He kissed her forehead and sighed again before continuing. "I'm just… scared about what it means. I've just found you again, dammit! Can't the world just leave us be?"

"When has life ever been easy for either of us, James? We deal with things and get through it, that's all we can do. You're not going to lose me, whatever happens. I promise. We're in this for the long haul, right?" She pulled away and sat up to look him in the eyes.

"Absolutely."

"Good." She smiled warmly before pulling away and made a move to get up. "Well, I probably stink and need another shower." She looked back to find Sawyer sitting with a thoughtful look on his face. "You Ok?"

"Cassidy called while you were out pounding the sidewalk." He grinned as he said this and she sat back down in surprise.

"She did? What did she say? She letting you see her?"

"Not quite, but she wants me to meet her for lunch tomorrow. That has to be a good sign right?"

She grinned at his hopeful tone and framed his face with her hands. "Of course it's a good sign! She'll come around, James."

She stood once more, this time reaching out to offer him a hand up. "Wanna scrub my back?"

He eagerly took her hand and allowed her to pull him along with her and back towards the hotel. "Thought you'd never ask, Blondie… thought you'd never ask."

#####

"Promise me you won't do anything impulsive whilst I'm gone," Sawyer pleaded as he fussed with a neck-tie. Juliet looked up from her laptop with an arched brow at this.

"I'm not an impulsive person, James."

"Not usually, no, but when you are you go do things like commandeer subs." She glared at him before sliding off the bed and stalked towards him.

"Low blow, James," she stated softly, taking the tie out of his hands and proceeded to fix it. He dipped his head slightly in shame, knowing as soon as the words left his mouth that he shouldn't have said that.

"I know I'm sorry. I'm just nervous is all, I don't mean to take it out on you. Meeting Cass, and this…" he gestured back towards the laptop on the bed, not knowing quite how to address what Juliet was about to spend her day doing whilst he met with Cassidy.

"I promise, all I'll be doing is a little digging and research. Try to find out what I can about Kate's trial and the rest of our friends." She finished and smoothed down his collar before kissing him lightly on the lips, then stepped back to survey her handiwork. "You look good. Very respectable, Mr Ford. I won't do anything without talking to you first, you have my word. So don't worry about all that, Ok?"

"Yes ma'am." He nodded obediently and reached for his jacket. "Well, I best be off. Wish me luck."

"Good luck, Daddy-oh." She replied with an impish grin.

"Smart-ass." He retorted as he leaned in to kiss her cheek on his way out. "I got my cell if you need me," he paused at the open door and looked back at her.

"I won't. Just concentrate on Clementine. Love you."

"Love ya back," he returned and with a flash of his dimples, was gone.

#####

"I still don't get it – why now? After all this time." Cassidy leaned back to allow the waitress to place their food down, muttering a thank-you as she did.

"Well, first there was that small matter of jail…" Cassidy made a move to angrily interject, but he put a hand up to silence her before continuing, "After, I needed time to get my head and my shit together. I wasn't fit to be our little girl's daddy; wouldn't have wished that on anyone.

"But, I've done it Cass, I swear I've changed. Look, I can give you ten grand now. I know it's a drop in the ocean, but on top of what was deposited in her account, it's a start. Even if you don't let me see her, I want you to have it, and I'll continue to help support you both."

"What, no blank cheque from that conveniently rich doctor of yours?" Cassidy retorted and Sawyer's face darkened.

"This is my debt, not hers. I know how it must look, but I'm not with her for the money. I'd love her even if she didn't have two cents to rub together." _For three years that's exactly how it was_, he neglected to add.

"Love… strong word for you, Sawyer."

"I go by the name of James these days."

"She the reason for this big turnaround? You never would have done it for me."

"You didn't want me to change, Cass. You were as caught up in the game as I was." He sighed and took a drink of his water before answering her question. "Yes and no. Not entirely, but she's a big part of it," he shrugged. "She loves me for who I am and that makes me want to be worthy of her love."

"You sound like a damn greetings card." She looked out the window, angry at herself for being unable to keep the bitter resentment out of her voice.

He shrugged again at this, unmoved. "I can live with that. What I can't live with is not having the chance to be a father to my daughter. I can do it Cass, I know I can."

"What bank account?" she asked suddenly, picking up on what he'd said previously.

"When I got out of jail, I received payment for a… favour I did for the warden. I had them deposit it in Clementine's name. You didn't get it?" He asked, incredulously. He assumed she had, but hadn't deemed it worth mentioning.

"You can't bullshit me, Sawyer. To think I was actually starting to listen to you. How stupid do you think I am???" She hurriedly stood, chair scraping noisily against the floor. He grabbed her wrist in desperation, to stop her from leaving in disgust.

"Wait! Straight up! You didn't get it??? Shit, I swear to you I left her money. I'll sort it, prove to you it's true. Dates and statements, whatever. Let me show you, please!" He pleaded, his voice raw with emotion.

"Please Cassidy, let me be her daddy. I won't let you down. Please."

"And just how are you going to do that from Miami?" she asked sceptically as she sat back down and pushed food around her plate, her fidgeting telling him that he was wearing her down somewhat.

"I'll make it work. Fly out here as much as I can, maybe you could let us take her for holidays and such. Whatever it takes. Plenty of kids have separated parents these days."

"If – and that's a big if – I agree to any of this, it will be a long time before I let you waltz off with her out of state! I'd need a lot more proof and assurance that you mean all this and aren't going to just disappear when it all gets too much and you've gotten bored at playing dad." At this point she realised she no longer held his attention and that he was staring at something over her shoulder. "Well this bodes well, if you can't even fully commit to this conversation…" she trailed off as she twisted round to see what he was looking at.

Her breath hitched as she caught sight of a tv screen on the far wall behind her. On it was a mug-shot of Kate. She had been closely following her plight for some months now, but still felt a jolt of surprise and sympathy whenever she came across the story. Looking back at Sawyer, who was still transfixed with a haunted look in his eyes, she couldn't fathom why he would be so affected by it.

"I know her, y'know." She stated softly. This caught his attention and his gaze immediately swung back to her in shock.

"What??? You know her???" She was taken aback slightly at his reaction to her admission and shrank back defensively in her seat before continuing.

"Not long after you split, I was pulling the jewellery con at some gas station in Iowa. The mark wasn't buying it and threatened to call the cops, when this woman stepped in and bought one. It was her: Kate." She indicated with her head back to the screen. "We got talking and I spent a few days with her. She was already on the run at this time and I helped her get in contact with her mom without the Feds catching her. Her mom didn't want to know though. She's the one that gave her up in the first place. So she moved on and that's the last I've heard of her until this broke. I can't believe she made it to Australia!"

He sucked in a ragged breath at this and before he could stop himself, gasped out "I know her!" As Cassidy's eyes widened in shock, he thought: _crap, how was he going to explain that one???_

He raked his hand through his hair as he frantically thought of a rational explanation for his outburst. "Uh… yeah… our paths crossed a few times in Australia… Juliet was doing some research in Sydney for a month or so and I went with her. We met her in some one horse town a few hours from Sydney, where a patient of Jules' lived. Got talking and saw her quite a lot after that. Had no idea why she was really there or what she'd done. Just saw it on the news for the first time yesterday."

"Wow… it really is a small world isn't it?" Cassidy mused in wonder at his story.

"Juliet wants to try to help her. She's back at the hotel now finding out what she can. Some friends of ours might be able to help get her a better legal team or somethin'."

"But you don't?"

"Not at first to be honest no, but Juliet is right. It would be wrong to stand by and look the other way if there was something we could do."

"So you'll be going to LA then?"

Sawyer exhaled and sat back as he thought about this. This was probably the most honest conversation he'd ever had with Cassidy, despite the lies about Kate. "We haven't got that far, I don't know. Not if it jeopardises anything here."

Cassidy looked out the window silently for a few minutes as she contemplated all he'd told her. With a confused sigh she returned her gaze to his. "I never thought I'd see the day. You talking about love, friends and the welfare of others. If none of this is true, it's one hell of a con, I have to hand it to you.

"I'm not promising anything – and I can't believe I'm about to say this – but why don't you bring Juliet over for dinner tomorrow night. I'll let you see her." Sawyer breathed a big sigh of relief and smiled gratefully as she continued, "Nothing more than that, I'm not telling her who you are or anything. Just dinner and take it from there."

"Thank you, Cassidy. You won't regret it."

"Yeah, well… we'll see."


	16. Chapter 16

Sorry for all those looking forward to the dinner, it seems I'm to keep you in suspense for a little longer. This seemed like a good place to leave off, but it will be in the next chapter, I promise! Thanks so much for all your words of encouragement. As the quick turnaround might suggest, I've got over the hump and am steamrolling on.

**Chapter 16**

"Honey, I'm home!" Sawyer proclaimed as he threw open the door, causing Juliet to jump in surprise from her position on the bed. On seeing his excited expression, she quickly arose and approached him.

"That face tells me things might have gone well…" His arms engulfed her in a big hug and closing his eyes, he buried his face into her hair with a contented sigh.

"Uh, James," she probed impatiently once a few seconds passed and he made no attempt to answer her. "Leaving me in suspense here… what happened?"

He pulled away slightly, arms remaining loosely around her waist. His eyes twinkled and he kissed her lightly on her nose, before asking, "How you fixed for dinner tomorrow night?" At her confused expression he chuckled and elaborated: "Cos if ya have nothing better to do, how about accompanying me when I meet my daughter?"

At this she gave a decidedly un-Juliet-like squeal and threw her arms around his neck to hug him back tightly. "Oh that's amazing news! I knew you'd get there." She pulled back and gave him a sceptical look before continuing, "Are you sure Cassidy would want me there? Don't really know if that's a good idea."

"She specifically told me to bring you. I think maybe you've intrigued her as much as my turning over a new leaf has. You _have_ to come."

"Well if you're sure, I wouldn't miss it for the world." She released her hold on him, headed over to a side table and poured a glass of lemonade from a pitcher. She silently offered it to him, but he shook his head in refusal and so instead took a drink of it herself.

Sawyer looked around their once tidy hotel room in wonder. Papers, handwritten notes and printouts were strewn all over the bed and onto the surrounding floor and he spied that a printer had been set up on the table she was currently leaning against.

"Well, I won't ask you if you've been busy, Sunshine! How've ya got on?"

"Give me a sec to organise all this, take a seat." She indicated the small sofa situated by the tv and started to shuffle her papers into some semblance of order as he removed his jacket and apprehensively did as he was told.

"Where did you get the printer?"

"From your best friend at reception," she replied as she took a seat next to him and took a deep breath. "Ok, starting with Kate. As I thought, she can't afford her own defence and has been appointed a pretty green public defender. She's got no chance at the moment. The DA is pushing for life and as we saw, the trial date is set for about six weeks. From what I gather, her mother's testimony is crucial to the prosecution. What kind of mother could do that to their child?" She broke off and looked at Sawyer with a grimace.

"Anyway, she's currently being held at…" she looked down at her notes briefly, "Central California Women's Facility at Chowchilla. Not a particularly pleasant place, by all accounts and bail has been denied." Sawyer's stomach lurched at the thought of this - he'd heard of it - and Juliet reached out to reassuringly clasp his hand in hers.

"So I drew up a list of possible defence attorneys," She passed him a sheet with four names on it. "None of which come cheap, for this kind of case. Upwards of half a million I'm estimating. We wouldn't be able to cover it on our own, not without cleaning out my savings. So I think our best option is to try to get in contact with other survivors. If we can get them to remember, they might help, what do you think?" She released his hand and leaned back into the, looking at him closely to gauge his reaction.

He let out a low whistle as she considered her words. "It's a hell of a lot of money. Do you think she really has a chance with one of these guys?" He waved the paper slightly in his hands."

"Honestly, I really don't know. I'm not a lawyer. The odds have to be better than at the moment though. At the very least, changing lawyers should buy her more than six weeks to put together her defence."

"What excuse could we use to get in to see her? Would we pay for it all even if she doesn't remember and refuses our help?"

Juliet shrugged her shoulders at this slightly, at a loss. "I haven't gotten that far, hoped you might have some ideas. Maybe play the doctor card, but then why would she be needing a fertility specialist?" Sawyer nodded thoughtfully at this before looking down at the remainder of the papers in her hand.

"What about the rest of 'em, then?"

"Well, out of the other passengers, I thought I'd start with the most… financially solvent. Normally that would include Sun, but her and Jin have appeared to sever all ties with her father and have effectively disappeared since arriving in LA, so bit of a dead end there. Boone and Shannon are from a wealthy family, but I never knew them personally and I don't know how you'd feel about approaching people who… died."

Sawyer shook his head at this, "I ain't contacting no dead people. They're better off out of it."

"No, I thought as much. So that really just leaves Jack and Hugo, both of whom stay in LA and are easy to track down. Luckily there aren't too many Latino multi-millionaires outside of Hollywood."

"Woah, slow down there a sec. Mr Stay Puft is a millionaire???"

Juliet was surprised at this. "You didn't know?" At his incredulous look she continued, "Hugo won over $100 million on the lottery last year. He then made some wise investments and practically doubled it."

"Son of a bitch. The bastard never let on…"

"So anyway, should we look further into these lawyers and try to contact Jack and Hurley, do you think?"

"Well I'd much rather hit Daddy Warbucks for cash than Jackass, but I suppose it's only right he helps bail out Kate since it's his fault she's there."

"No more than mine really…" He started to protest at this and she quickly took his hand again to hush him. "At the end of the day, we all let him drop that nuke and it was me that detonated it."

"You had no choice!" He tugged on her hand and roughly pulled her towards him. She silently allowed him to do so and tucked her head under his chin while he folded his arms around her.

"Is this why you're so gung-ho about all this, you feel responsible?" He felt her tense slightly at this and that was all the confirmation he needed. He squeezed her tighter and kissed the crown of her head before continuing, "Sweetheart, none of what happened was your fault! None of it! They bulldozed their way back into our lives, then the Whizzkid went and put ideas in the doc's head! We just did what we had to, to survive the chaos _they_ caused.

"And look at us now, call me selfish, but I'm glad you detonated that bomb. We got each other, you got your sis and hopefully I'll get to know my daughter."

She let out a shaky sigh and pulled away to look at him, unshed tears in her eyes. He was so used to seeing her strength and determination, it always scared him a little on the rare occasions she allowed him to see her pain and vulnerability. He reached out, gently brushed her tears away and tenderly kissed her on the forehead.

"Have you even left this room since I left or have you just been burying yourself under all this paper?"

She smiled at his concern and attempt to lighten the mood. "I went downstairs to charm the printer out of Dave."

"That doesn't count," he scoffed and hauled them both up from the sofa. "Come on, we got some celebrating to do and you need a break from all this. No more talk of it for the rest of the night. What you wanna do?"

"I could go for a mindless movie and a big tub of popcorn?"

"Sounds like a plan." He released her and made a bee-line for the bathroom. "I gotta pee and I'm guessing you'll want to change and freshen up."

"True," she laughed, looking down at her ratty t-shirt. As she was pulling out a change of clothes out her case, she realised she'd gotten side-tracked and hadn't told him how her enquiries into Jack had gone. The bathroom door opened and she whirled back round as he exited.

"A few more things, then I promise, I'll let it drop. Jack arrived home and buried his father as planned. He's still working at the hospital in LA. I have an old friend from college who also works there, so I emailed her. Asked what she knew about him, any gossip: professional and personal. Said I was thinking about picking his brain about neurological tumours and how they affected fertility. So we'll see what she comes back with, I guess. Take it from there."

"She'll believe that?"

"Should do, it's a valid avenue of research and maybe I _will_ talk to him about it if we get the chance… Anyway, mostly she'll be so eager at the chance to gossip, I doubt she'd care." With a shrug she stepped passed him and into the bathroom to freshen up and put some make-up on. "Gimme five, and I'll be good to go."

"No rush." Sawyer plopped himself back down onto the sofa and flicked the tv on as she closed the door behind her. Once alone, he scowled in the direction of the bathroom. He should have realised earlier she would blame herself for Kate's plight. He was going to have to do his damnedest to make her see she wasn't at fault and try to protect her from getting hurt if none of this panned out.

#####

"So," Sawyer broke the silence of their leisurely walk back to the hotel hours later. "Turns out Clem never got any of the money I left for her."

"She didn't?" Juliet replied in surprise at this.

"Nope, seems that none of those yahoos at the prison thought to tip her off that it was there. Cassidy doesn't believe it exists so I promised I'd sort it and show her it's been there all that time.

"Only, here's the thing – I don't know what bank it was. I'm just as much of a yahoo, I didn't think to ask."

"Huh," Juliet responded with a thoughtful expression on her face. She was pretty sure that was information that she'd read in his file years ago, only she couldn't recall what it had said.

"I uh… I don't suppose it was in my file with the Others, was it?" He asked hopefully.

"You know, it was, but I can't think what the name was off the top of my head. I'm sure I'll know it when I see it though, Lemme just check out what banks they have here." She squeezed his arm reassuringly, to which he nodded his agreement. It was all he had to go on right now.

Not five minutes later, Juliet abruptly stopped as something caught her notice out the corner of her eye. At Sawyer's quizzical look, she pointed across the street and stated:

"That's it!"

"That's what?"

"New Mexico Bank and Trust. That's the bank."

"You're sure?"

"Positive. That's the one. Tell Cassidy that. As Clementine's guardian she'll have to be the one to enquire about the details, they won't tell us. She'll see it's been there for a few years."

Sawyer sighed in relief and drew her closer. "I have to say Blondie, never before have I been so glad that you had that damn file on me!"

#####

"Are you ready, cos we gotta get going? That laptop isn't going anywhere." Juliet looked up apologetically, closed the lid and stood up.

"Sorry, let's go. I was just reading a reply from my friend Sarah at St Sebastian's." Off Sawyer's blank look she elaborated further; "Jack's hospital."

"Great, fill me in in the car." He tossed Juliet her jacket and agitatedly strode towards the door.

"Hey!" She rushed to catch up with him, grabbing his arm at the threshold to halt him when he paid her no heed. "Hey," She repeated, much softer this time, "Slow down, take a deep breath. It's going to be fine, you hear me?" He briefly closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, letting her words wash over him.

"Better. Now give me the car keys."

"Why?" Despite his confusion, he obediently reached into his pocket and placed the keys into her outstretched palm.

"Because I don't want you killing us before we even get there due to your mind not being on the road."

His responding glare was cut short as she suddenly surged forward and claimed his lips in a slow and sensuous kiss. Just as he was getting into it, she just as suddenly pulled away and headed down the hallway towards the elevator, leaving a stunned Sawyer in her wake.

"Come on, James. We don't want to be late."

"Well now _that's_ all I'll be thinking about!" He called after her as he pulled the door closed behind him.

"That was the plan. But don't worry, what I've got to tell you about Jack will distract you." She tossed back as she hit the call button and turned to smile sweetly at him as he caught up.


	17. Chapter 17

Sorry it's taken so long to update. Time has been short and I've been finding myself only able to write short bursts at a time when I did sit down to it. I'm now gearing up to start my masters, so chances are from here-on in I won't be able to update as regularly as I was. However, I promise to keep this going, at the very least until I run out of ideas! I'm hoping it might be a good stress reliever.

So if you're still reading this, thanks for patiently waiting and I hope it doesn't disappoint.

**Chapter 17**

"Ok, out with it already. What did she say?" Sawyer's impatience at her silence got the better of him as she pulled the car out the hotel parking lot and into the evening traffic.

Juliet scrunched her nose slightly in concentration; both at the road and how to answer his question. Just as he was about to huff another complaint at being left in suspense, she spoke up. "It seems Jack hasn't been doing too well since his dad's funeral. She said that while his work hasn't suffered – yet – rumour has it he's drinking a lot when not at the hospital."

She took the opportunity afforded by a red light to glance over and gauge his reaction. Sawyer's features were graced by the guilt-ridden frown that had often been present back in those first few months that they had known each other.

"Yeah… well… death of a parent will do that to ya," he muttered, his dark gaze intently avoiding hers. She reached over and quickly squeezed his hand sympathetically before the light changed green.

"So," He continued as her hand returned to the wheel and her eyes to the road, "Let's add that to the list of what we've found out shall we? Jack's a drunk, Kate's banged up, Hurley's in and out of mental homes and Charlie's racking up DUIs… and that's just who's easily tracked down! What about Sun and Jin, Claire, Sayid or Locke?

"Seems like the only ones to have benefited from this _reset_ are me and you. Who knows where I'd be if I hadn't seen your picture in that paper. Why us?" Juliet's gaze fleetingly flicked over to meet his before she softly answered with a resigned sigh.

"I don't know James… I don't know."

"Got any good news for me Blondie?"

"Charlotte attended an archaeological conference in London last week. She didn't go to the island, or at least not yet. They'd have reached it by now last time around." She laughed softly to herself at this, both in relief and at how insane this conversation was. Catching Sawyer's confused look she stopped and explained, "Just thinking how crazy we sound."

"Certifiable," he replied with a wry smile.

"I still haven't tracked Daniel down beyond Oxford, but I'll keep at it. A friend at the university has some contacts at Oxford, I'll ask them to see what they can find out."

"Does everyone know everybody in your line of work?"

"Pretty much," she admitted with a shrug. "It's all about networking and collaboration, especially with advances in technology and communications.

"Anyway, back to Jack. As luck would have it, the hospital has a big fundraising gala coming up. Sarah has asked me if I want to go with her. It would be the perfect opportunity to informally meet with him and judge if he remembers anything. When I'm there we can also get the ball rolling with hiring a lawyer. The thing is… it's next Saturday."

Sawyer nodded thoughtfully as he took this latest information in. "So that gives me just over a week with Clementine if all goes well tonight."

"I can go alone, see what happens. You can stay here as long as you need to and join me later…"

"No way, yer not ditching me that easily," he growled, interrupting her mid-sentence. "You seriously think I'm letting you outta my sight now?"

Anger flashed across Juliet's face as she coldly retorted, "I wasn't aware I had to start asking your permission, James."

"That came out wrong," He replied softly, followed by a contrite sigh.

"Make it come out right," she calmly asserted; eyes intent on the road ahead.

"We're in this together right? A team. Look, call me selfish, but I've just found you again and I don't want to risk losing you. If that means you gotta be at a gala in LA in eight days time, then that's where I gotta be too."

He ran his hand through his hair in frustration at the direction the conversation had taken. He knew she was just trying to avoid putting him in the position of having to choose between her and Clementine, but he still wanted to shake some sense into her. As far as he was concerned it was a no-brainer.

"We can't stay here indefinitely and with Kate's trial we're against the clock aren't we?" At her imperceptible nod, he continued, "I'm guessing that after hanging about for a week Cassidy will be more than glad to be rid of me anyway and it's not like I can't come back. It will take ages to sort out a routine, so this will just be the first of many visits – hopefully. You never know, I might have screwed up and be out on my ear by the end of tonight."

His last comment was an attempt at flippancy, but she could hear the fear in his voice and the anger that had already been dissipating at his speech melted away completely. They had arrived at Cassidy's house and she parked and killed the engine before turning to look at him fully, only to find he was apprehensively gazing up at the house.

"Hey," she called softly, grabbing his hand to regain his attention, smiling warmly when his eyes turned back to meet hers. "I wish you'd dispense with the notion that you're a screw-up already and start believing in yourself - like I do." His eyes closed at her words and he dropped his head back against the headrest, willing himself to breathe through the feeling of sickness in the pit of his stomach. He so wanted to trust in her faith in him. He couldn't screw this up now.

Juliet's heart hitched slightly, watching the emotions play across his face as he struggled to get the better of his nerves. Drawn to his suffering, she reached out and placed her free hand against his face – palm to cheek - using her fingers to gently smooth the furrows on his brow. His eyes still closed, a smile appeared and she couldn't help but smile herself as she watched his features relax under her ministrations. She could sit for hours like this and she was loath to break the silence, but didn't want them to be late.

"Come on," she whispered, removing her hand from his face and giving his hand an affectionate squeeze before dropping it. He opened his eyes once more and watched her as she unfastened her seatbelt and opened her car door. She looked back to see he had yet to move.

"Time to get this show on the road and go meet your daughter." She grinned encouragingly and climbed out the car. Sawyer gave himself a mental shake and nodded before following suit. He looked at her over the car roof as they closed their doors and she locked it.

"Thanks for coming tonight," he stated simply as she rounded the car and joined him on the sidewalk. She smiled, stepped closer and put her arms around his neck as she leaned forward to kiss him softly on the lips. His hands came up to gently grip her forearms as she leaned back slightly and cocked her head to the side, smiling at him once more.

"Well you're not ditching me that easily, James."

"Touché."

She laughed as they released each other and he took her hand as they walked up the path towards the front door.

"So we got our stories straight if she starts asking too many questions?"

"Yes, we've been over it a dozen times. Relax, I've got a pretty good poker face."

"That you do, Jules," Sawyer smirked as he reached for the doorbell, "That you do."

Both held their breath as the seconds passed until the door opened to reveal Cassidy. She gave them a tight smile that didn't quite reach her eyes and ushered them both in. Sawyer summoned all his charm to cover his nerves and gave an easy smile in return as he passed her.

"Evenin' Cass," he drawled and nonchalantly looked around the hallway as he stepped aside to allow Juliet to enter behind him. He was disappointed to find nobody else there. He heard Juliet greet Cassidy and returned his attention back to the two women to see Cassidy accept the bottle of wine they had brought.

"Thank you for having us," Juliet stated softly and having no suitable response, Cassidy merely nodded graciously before indicating they should move down the hall.

"Clementine is in the living room, I'm sure you can remember the way." She watched as Sawyer's gaze darted to Juliet and a wordless exchange took place between the two before he took a deep breath and led the way into the room.

His heart stopped as he crossed the threshold and took in the sight before him. A sandy haired toddler sat in the middle of the room, intently playing with a set of brightly coloured building blocks. She was so absorbed in the task she didn't notice their entrance. Sawyer remained rooted to the spot and watched her happily mumbling to herself as she clicked two green blocks together.

Cassidy took in his entranced expression and swept past him into the room to address her daughter. "Clem honey, Mommy's friends have arrived. You remember me telling you about them?"

At this, the little girl looked up first at her mother, then turned her head slightly to affix her gaze on him with a pair of blue-green eyes that un-mistakenly resembled his. Drawn in, he found himself moving towards her.

"Hello, I'm Clementine," she sing-songed with a cheeky grin and he practically melted, crouching down to meet her eyelevel.

"Nice ta meet ya Clementine, I'm James." He held out his hand and she took it in delight, shaking it with an infectious giggle. He returned her grin before looking round for Juliet in wonder, finding her standing back against the doorframe. Her own gaze, which had become slightly watery as she had looked on, sparkled back at him in pride. He indicated slightly with his head for her to come closer as he turned back to his daughter.

"This is Juliet. Your mommy has told us all about you."

"Hello Clementine," Juliet said softly as she approached to stand behind Sawyer. She placed a supportive hand on his shoulder and he instinctively reached up to place his on top of hers. "What's that you're building there?" The little girl smiled good-naturedly up at her before looking back down at her blocks.

"A tractor."

Cassidy laughed and moved forward to ruffle her daughter's hair. "She's going to be a tom-boy I'm afraid. Her dolls barely get a look in. Dinner's just about ready. Clem, can you please take James and Juliet to the dining room while Mommy dishes up dinner?" At Clementine's nod she turned to enter the kitchen through an adjoining door.

"Can I help you with anything, Cassidy?" Juliet offered, causing her to pause in the doorway and look back with a restrained but polite smile.

"Thanks, but it's all under control. Five more minutes," and turning once more, left them.

Still squatting on his heels, Sawyer simply stared at the little girl in front of him, obliviously playing with her blocks. He had absolutely no idea what to do or say now as the enormity of the situation set in. He threw a stricken glance back at Juliet, silently pleading for her help. Thankfully she took the hint and took a step towards the toddler.

"Hey Clementine, want to show us through to the table now?" She smiled down encouragingly and held out her hand to the girl. Clementine nodded once more and smiled back as she discarded her blocks in favour of Juliet's hand and Juliet pulled her to her feet.

"Mommy says I'm to be on my best behaviour tonight. I have a new dress on," Clementine chattered as she dragged Juliet into the hallway. Sawyer followed behind, still slightly in awe that this cute little sandy-haired lady showing off her pink party dress was his actual flesh and blood.

"It's very pretty, give James a twirl and show him how pretty it is." Juliet held up their joined hands and Clementine giggled as she performed a twirl. James coughed and realised this was his cue to say something as both females looked back at him expectantly.

"Yeah, uh… very pretty. Just like a fairy princess." His charm had deserted him and he spied Juliet shaking her head slightly and smiling indulgently at his fumbled attempt at complimenting a three-year-old. Clementine didn't seem to mind though and she giggled once more before turning to continue towards the dining room. Sawyer shrugged at Juliet helplessly over Clementine's head before following once more.

"I wanted to wear my new jeans, but mommy said no," Clem continued conspiratorially as they entered a moderately sized dining room that was tastefully decorated and the round table set for four. "She said that this was a special night. Why? Can I sit next to you?" Juliet chucked as she helped the toddler into the chair with a booster seat.

"Of course you can, is it ok if James sits on the other side of you?" At her nod, Sawyer grinned and took his seat, determined to make a better attempt at conversation.

"It's a special night because I'm a _really_ old friend of your mommy's and she's told me all about you. Juliet and me have travelled a long way to see your mommy and meet you. Have you heard of a place called Miami?"

"No." Clementine shook her head vigorously, causing her hair to fly about like her like a halo.

"It's all the way over on the other side of America, with lots of beaches and the ocean. Have you seen the ocean?" This brought another shake of the head as Clementine listened to him in rapt attention.

"Lots of big waves to splash in. Maybe one day you and yer mommy can come to visit us in Miami. Juliet has a nephew you can play with. He's just about your age." The last statement caused Clem's attention to return to Juliet, who was busy pouring the wine.

"What's his name? Is he as tall as me? Does he like making mud-pies?" Juliet laughed aloud at the barrage of questions.

"He's called Julian and I think he's a little taller than you. He does like playing in the mud, but he really loves making sand-castles. I'm sure he'd love to show you how to make the best sand-castles."

Cassidy entered carrying two plates, the smaller of which she placed in front of Clementine and the other at Juliet.

"Thank you, it looks lovely." Cassidy smiled in response and turned to retrieve the rest of the plates, however Clementine shouted after her mother before she could leave the room.

"Mommy, can we go to… Miami..." she looked at Juliet for encouragement as she struggled with the word, "to build sandcastles with Julian and splash in the ocean?"

"Julian is Juliet's nephew, he's three," Sawyer helpfully supplied at Cassidy's confused look. "We were telling her where we'd come from to see you both."

"I see… maybe one day, honey. Do you want OJ or milk?"

"Milk please." Cassidy nodded and left the room once more, returning a few moments later with two more plates for her and Sawyer and Clementine's milk. She sat and silence prevailed for a few minutes as they all started eating.

"This is delicious, Cass. Thanks so much for having us over." Sawyer inwardly cursed himself as he couldn't help the emotion that had crept into his voice as he spoke. Cassidy looked over at him and her eyes softened as she smiled sincerely and nodded understandingly.

"You're welcome," she stated softly. She watched as he looked down at Clementine for a second before returning his gaze to his plate. She sat back slightly and subtly observed her unlikely dinner guests as they ate and interacted with her daughter. Juliet looked up and caught Sawyer's eye. A look passed between them and Cassidy had to admit to being a bit envious at the unguarded expression on his face. Looking to her daughter, she noted Clementine seemed to be drawn to the enigmatic blonde next to her, watching her curiously between bites and gulps of her milk.

"Your hair is very pretty. I wish mine was long."

"Thank you Clementine," Juliet replied warmly, looking at her with a mixture of embarrassment and amusement. "Yours is very pretty and much softer and shinier than mine. I'm sure when you get a bit older yours will be really long if you want it to be. But I like it just as it is now."

"Thank you!" Clementine beamed back at her and resumed eating.

"So, your nephew, is that the child mentioned in the article? I have to admit I did google you to find out more. That must be quite a story for when he's older?" Juliet's bashful smile lit up her face at the mention of Julian.

"Yes, that's him. Rachel; my sister, was diagnosed with breast cancer a little over five years ago. Thankfully surgery and chemotheraphy were successful, but at a price. She was told she could never have children. It was the one thing she wanted more than anything and so I focused all my work on trying to help her. We got lucky, I guess."

Sawyer scoffed at this. "Lucky my ass! Uh... sorry," he amended for his language in front of Clementine. "Did you know she once made a male mouse pregnant?" He beamed proudly at his proclamation, ignoring the reproachful glance Juliet sent his way.

"It never carried to term, James."

"Whatever," He dismissed her protests of modesty with a wave, "She uses the threat of it to keep me in line," he grinned.

"You still do testing on animals?" Cassidy asked in surprise. "I thought it was all computer simulations and stuff these days. Don't you think it's all cruel and a bit close to playing God?"

Juliet wasn't sure if the last was asked out of curiosity or hostility. Being used to these sorts of questions though, she chose to ignore the harshness of Cassidy's tone, pausing to thoughtfully consider her answer.

"No I don't. What I do is essentially no different from the fertility treatments that have been around for years now, generally without any moral ambiguity. Shouldn't cancer sufferers be helped if we can? Vivisection is still an unfortunate imperative for medical research and advancement I'm afraid. Simulations have their place, particularly in teaching students and with routine and long established drug discovery techniques. I'm all for it whenever possible, but as yet it's not a viable alternative in cutting-edge science. It's such a grey area. For instance, Christiaan Barnard operated on over fifty dogs before he successfully completed the first human heart transplant. Nearly forty years later, would you question the necessity of those experiments and his morality? Heart transplants are now so routine, there's likely at least one being performed somewhere in the country as we eat. Would you accuse that surgeon of playing God?

"I'm sorry for going on. I hope that answers your question. It's just… medical research… discovery… it's not black and white. Especially when I get to play with my nephew and see how happy my sister is." Sawyer tried to cover his smirk with his napkin. He'd been in enough similar conversations with Juliet – and had his ass handed to him – that he knew when to stay out of it.

"I guess not. I've never really thought of it as anything other than torturing and killing innocent animals."

"Oh, believe me, there are strict regulations and guidelines. Lab animals are well looked after, I promise."

"I'll take your word for it," Cassidy replied, conceding the argument with a nod and a smile.

Taking the opportunity to change the subject, Sawyer turned to his daughter, "So… Clementine… I hav'ta know… what's so great about tractors?"


	18. Chapter 18

I am astounded by two things: firstly that I have made it to chapter 18, and secondly that all you wonderful people are still reading and reviewing. I love each and every one of you for keeping me going. The acts of this story seem to be split up by geographical location – we've had Miami and are now finishing up with Albuquerque (won't miss typing that, sorry in advance to any New Mexico natives that may be reading) and moving on to LA. I'm probably butchering all these geographical and social aspects and I beg for forgiveness and lee-way in this respect. I've been to the States numerous times and even lived and worked on Martha's Vineyard for a summer, but I'm still just a Brit trying to write a story set in a foreign country. Ok, enough blethering, I've kept you waiting long enough for this…

**Chapter 18**

Juliet sat at a quiet poolside terrace table, relaxing in the afternoon sunshine with a good novel and cool glass of iced tea. As enthralling as her book was, she couldn't stop her attention from wandering back to Sawyer and how happy he had seemed as he had left her earlier that day. It had now been four days since they had dinner at Cassidy's and things were going so well. Cassidy had taken the week off from her job as office manager at a downtown firm of property lawyers and had allowed Sawyer daily visits with Clementine until they left for LA. Juliet had accompanied them on a trip to the zoo yesterday and whilst she couldn't ever see them go so far as being friends, an uneasy acceptance with Cassidy had been established.

She had worryingly however, detected a few signs that Cassidy may be softening towards Sawyer a bit _too_ much. She couldn't blame her really - the woman had loved him once and Sawyer had ratcheted up the charm offensive this past week. As Juliet had watched his apprehension ease and his confidence grow with Clementine, she found herself falling in love with him all the more and could only imagine the affect it must be having on Cassidy. She was pretty sure that Sawyer was oblivious to it all, having eyes only for his daughter. That coupled with the fact that it was herself he came back to and excitedly shared his day and thoughts with, she wasn't too worried about any feelings being reciprocated. Regardless though, she was resolved to somehow bring it up with him later. He needed to be careful.

Juliet had to laugh at her thoughts. It was strange how she could be so rational and secure when thinking about Sawyer and Cassidy, but Kate could be a whole other matter. Maybe it was because she had witnessed first hand how he had felt about her and how her leaving had affected him during those flashes and early Dharma life. Despite her hard fought resolve and a litany of assurances she could tell herself, she was not entirely sure how she would react when coming face to face with Kate again. Nor could she be entirely sure of Sawyer's reaction either. Yet here she was; the one to actively push them back into Kate's path of destruction. Only time would tell she guessed. She had never thought herself to be such a masochist before, but there it was.

Maybe it was the case that she could never truly find peace until she had irrefutable proof that he chose her and her alone. Part of her brain screamed that she had him now and none of it was worth the risk of losing him, but this was shouted down by the irrepressible aspect of her personality that she loathed – irrational insecurity. It was a trait she attributed to Edmund's cheating and ultimately her father's abandonment after her parents' divorce.

Regardless of what her fears may be, she stood by her assertion that helping Kate was the right thing to do and no matter what Sawyer may say, she _was_ at least partly responsible for the current state of affairs – it was by her hand that the bomb exploded. Maybe that was why they had found each other and remembered. So they could put things right, one passenger at a time.

Her musings were cut short by the sounds of a minor commotion coming from the entrance to the terrace. She looked up and laughed at the sight before her. Sawyer was struggling to keep hold of an approaching Clementine, who was having a much easier time scampering amongst the empty tables in their path than he was.

"Hey gorgeous, we've come to shatter your peace and quiet." On reaching her he bent to kiss her on the cheek while Clementine attempted to clamber onto her lap.

"Quiet is overrated anyway," she smiled up at him. "What are you doing back so early? Where is Cassidy?" She helped the little girl up and proceeded to tickle her as she addressed her, "Have you kidnapped James and ditched your mommy?" Laughter was her only response. Sawyer sat down in the chair next to her and took a large gulp of her drink as she looked over to him, eyebrow raised in question.

"Someone wanted to see you. It seems I have a rival for president of the Juliet fanclub."

"I'll bet Cassidy loves that," she interjected wryly.

"Nope, but I do!" He grinned at the adorable picture before him; Juliet hugging Clementine as she played with a pendant round Juliet's neck, ignoring the adult's conversation.

"So madam here kept asking after you and Cassidy had some errands to run, so she said I could take her back here and she'll pick her up in an hour or so when she's done. She's actually trusting Clem alone with me. Just for a bit, but still!"

"That's awesome, James. I think this calls for ice-cream, what do you think Clem?"

"Yeah!"

Sawyer swivelled and attracted the attention of a waiter. "What flavour do you want Clem?"

"Strawberry!"

"Sounds good to me, we'll have two strawberry sundaes please, one kids-size. Jules?"

"None for me, I'll have another iced tea, thanks" She smiled at the waiter, "I'll just have some of yours." Sawyer gasped in mock surprise.

"Ya hear that Clem? The standard reply of women everywhere. Promise me when you grow up, if you want ice-cream, you'll order ice-cream and not pretend you don't then steal your boyfriend's! It fools nobody." Clementine giggled, while Juliet just smirked unrepentantly.

"I always want ice-cream!"

"Good girl, keep it that way." Sawyer sat back and tilted his face to the sun in contentment. Juliet smiled then turned her attention back to the toddler.

"So how was the trip to the park?"

"Fun!" Clem clapped her hands together as she spoke, "went on swings and see-saw and slide and fed ducks. A duck bit James and he nearly fell in!" Juliet chucked at this and looked over to catch his reaction.

"Donald Duck they ain't!" he complained, eyes still closed. "Vicious little… things they were. Nearly took ma hand off!" He held a slightly red and bruised looking hand up to illustrate his point.

"Aw, you poor baby. What would Miles or Jin say if they could see you now? The great Lafleur beaten by a duck." Sawyer cracked open one eye to catch her smirking at him once more.

"Mock all you want, you weren't there."

"Why didn't you come?" Clementine claimed Juliet's attention once more with her softly spoken question.

"I'm sorry sweetie, I had work to do here today." Sawyer opened his eyes and looked at her at this. Juliet had spent the day trying to get her head round the legal issues in Kate's case.

"How did you get on?"

"Let's just say, as a lawyer, I make a good doctor." She shrugged her shoulders in dismay. "We'll have to leave it to the experts." At this point their sundaes arrived and Clementine's eyes lit up as the dish was set before them. Juliet handed her a spoon and she eagerly dug in.

"In that case, you have no excuse not to join us at the movies tomorrow, has she Clem?" The toddler shook her head in agreement at this, her mouth too full of ice-cream to speak.

"Spongebob Squarepants, how could ya possibly say no?" Juliet laughed and shook her head indulgently at his expression.

"I'd love to," she replied before grabbing his spoon and taking a swipe at his ice-cream, smiled triumphantly at him as she put it into her mouth.

#####

Cassidy stepped out onto the hotel terrace and looked about until she spotted Clementine with Sawyer and Juliet. She paused and stood as she took in the scene before her and her heart sank a little. They hadn't yet noticed her, Clementine was on Sawyer's knee whilst Juliet sat close by and all three had their heads bent over what looked like a colouring book. Juliet pointed down at the book and murmured something which caused Sawyer to laugh. He reached out to tenderly tuck a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and she leant into his touch. There they were, looking like the picture perfect family with _her_ daughter. This wasn't how things were supposed to be.

After nearly a week in his presence, she could finally admit to herself that these past few years of hating him had merely been a smokescreen to mask the pain of disappointment and longing she had felt. An irrational part of her had fantasised that one day he'd waltz back into her life, ready to be the perfect father and beg for her forgiveness and a second chance. And here he was, seemingly genuine in his desire to care for Clementine and she had to grudgingly concede that he was doing a pretty good job so far.

But never in a million years, would she have thought he would have another woman in tow – someone with beauty _and_ brains that she couldn't hope to compete with. She had consoled herself with the belief that she alone knew and understood him, accepting him for who he was and if he couldn't commit to her, then there was nobody out there who could tame him. Yet along came Juliet, with her perfect hair and her perfect life and her goddamn perfect romantic heroine's name and the cocoon of illusion that Cassidy had wrapped herself up in lay shattered at her feet. It was painfully obvious that Sawyer doted on her, when she was there he could barely keep his hands off her – small, seemingly subconscious intimate gestures and touches that cut like a knife – and when Juliet wasn't with them, not an hour went by where he didn't bring her up in conversation.

But try as she might, she could find nothing to hold against the woman and couldn't bring herself to hate her. She was perfectly nice and seemingly genuine, if a bit intimidating, and made a real effort with Clementine, who had now also fallen under her spell. Her only fault was stealing the heart of a man that it seems was never really Cassidy's to begin with.

Cassidy took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and moved towards the table. At the end of the day, Clementine and what was best for her was her main priority and her baby needed a father. But so help her God, if he screwed up or screwed them over, she would kill him in a heartbeat.

Juliet looked up and was the first to spot Cassidy's approach. "Hey Clementine, your mommy's here," she nodded over to Cassidy and smiled as she arrived. "Hello Cassidy. Good to see you."

"Juliet. You too," Cassidy transferred her attention to her daughter who was calling her and waving her arms to be lifted up. She reached down and plucked the toddler off Sawyer's lap.

"Hey baby, you been behaving? Ugh! What's this on your cheek?" She held her back slightly to get a look at whatever sticky substance had just been rubbed into her neck.

"Ice-cream!" Clementine happily supplied.

"Uh-oh. Busted. Sorry Cass, seems we've got an ice-cream fiend on our hands. She takes just after her mommy if I remember rightly," Sawyer grinned up at her without the slightest hint of remorse.

"Oh please! Think you need to get your memory checked. I was always just the convenient excuse to feed your ice-cream habit, buster!" Cassidy couldn't help herself from bantering back with a grin.

"Scandalous! The lies your mother would have you believe about me Clementine! Jules, back me up here." He turned to pull the blonde into the conversation and Cassidy found her smile fading slightly.

"Don't look at me, your sundae was super-sized…"

"Which you ate half!" he interrupted in protest, to which she merely smiled and shook her head before continuing.

"Besides, we both know fine well the amount of Dharma ice-cream you used to get through on a weekly basis…" Juliet's eyes widened slightly in alarm as she realised her slip-up.

"Dharma?" Cassidy asked in confusion.

"An Aussie brand, which I admit I couldn't get enough of," Sawyer smoothly covered, turning back to address Cassidy as he placed a comforting hand on top of Juliet's, lacing his fingers with hers. He gave an exaggerated sigh and melodramatically declared, "Ok, I admit it. I may have a little bit of a problem, but I can't give up all my vices can I?" He flashed Cassidy another charming grin, to which she bemusedly returned with a shake of the head.

"Well missy," she stated, forcing herself to look away from him and down at her daughter. "Time to get you home and see if I can coax you to eat some proper food before bed."

"Sorry, we shouldn't have…" Juliet started to apologise, but Cassidy merely waved her off as she bent to grab her bag.

"It's fine. So we'll see you at the movies tomorrow?" She addressed Sawyer once more.

"Absolutely. And Jules here can't get enough of Spongebob, so will be gate-crashing if you don't mind?"

"Of course not," Cassidy replied benignly. "We'll meet you there then. Say bye-bye Clem."

"Bye!" Clem squealed, waving a chubby arm at them as Cassidy turned to leave. Sawyer and Juliet in silence for a few moments, watching them go.

"You should be careful, James," Juliet stated softly once they were out of sight.

"What ya mean?" He swivelled his head round to look at her in confusion.

"The charm offensive seems to be working very well by the looks of it. She's in danger of falling for you again."

"Huh. Ya really think so?" Sawyer asked bemusedly, looking back in the direction that Cassidy had left in.

"Oh, don't be so obtuse, James! I thought you used to do this for a living?" Sawyer rolled his eyes at her, slumped back into his chair and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"I really haven't picked up on it. Maybe I'm losing my touch?" Juliet snorted in derision at this.

"Certainly doesn't look like it from where I'm sitting."

"Jealous?" Sawyer grinned smugly as he picked up on her slightly exasperated tone.

"Should I be?" She asked coolly with a raised brow. Whilst she wasn't seriously feeling threatened, she was interested in how he would respond.

"What do _you_ think, Blondie? She's got nothin' on you." He reached over, once more covered her hand with his and leaned in to kiss her softly. "What I meant was…" He continued, leaning back in his seat once more, "Obviously women will still fall in love with me, that's a God given talent that will never desert me…" She removed her hand from his and swiftly whacked him on the arm as he smirked at this.

"You're impossible, you know that?"

"Just tellin' it like it is, baby," he shrugged. "No, maybe I've just lost my touch in reading 'em. Spent all my time learnin' how to read _you_, and I'll tell ya this for nothin'" he drawled, "It's been one complex study."

"You better believe it mister," she retorted and his grin widened as she leaned forward to kiss him. "But seriously, James," she looked him in the eye as she pulled away, "Be careful. Lead her on too much and it could end badly for you and Clementine. Just dial it down a bit, Ok?"

His mood sobered slightly and he nodded, considering her words. "Duly noted… Anyway, dinner?"

"You've just finished that sundae!"

"I've been pushing a three-year-old on a swing all day, I've worked up an appetite! Come on…" he whined as he rose to his feet and hauled her up after him.

#####

They had been on the road for close to an hour and no words had yet been uttered. They had decided to keep the rental car and drive to LA through the Friday night, aiming to get there by lunchtime Saturday. This would give them time for an afternoon nap before the gala that night. Sarah had dropped some names and lied about Juliet being a last minute speaker and had managed to get them booked into the hotel where it was being held.

Juliet looked over in concern at Sawyer as he drove in silence. His focus remained steadfast on the road and if he had noticed her scrutiny, he did a good job at not showing it. She was worried that he was finding it harder to leave Clementine than he thought it would be and his reluctance to talk was telling. Sighing slightly, she turned her head to look once more out at the arid darkness surrounding them as the car steadily ate up the miles towards California. He'd talk if and when he was ready, there was no point trying to push him.

She had just started to doze off when twenty minutes later, Sawyer's hoarse voice startled her awake once more.

"How is it possible for someone so tiny to get under yer skin so quickly? How can I miss her already?" She stretched and looked over at him, meeting his troubled gaze.

"You're her father, James – it's perfectly natural for you to quickly bond with her, especially since you've been with her so much this last week. Plus she has most definitely taken after you in the charisma stakes. Now you know what it's like to be on the receiving end." He smiled at this despite his morose mood.

"She's going to run me ragged when she's older, ain't she?"

"Absolutely. But at least you won't be alone." His smile turned into a full blown grin and he looked over to briefly catch her eye before returning his attention to the road.

"I'm gonna need all help you can give, Sunshine."

"You'll be fine."

"Course I will if you've got my back."

"As I said… absolutely." She shifted slightly in her seat, turning her body towards his so she could lean her head to the side and watch him once more as he drove.

"I've been thinking," she ventured after a few miles had gone past. "Perhaps we should look into buying an apartment in Albuquerque, what do you think? Nothing fancy, maybe a two bed – one to stay in when you, or we, are there and another to rent out to cover the mortgage."

"It would certainly show Cassidy how serious I am," he commented as he mulled her suggestion over.

"We could put it in Clem's name if you like - an investment for her future." A yawn escaped before she could stifle it with her hand.

"I'll give it some thought." He reached into the back and retrieved a blanket which he tossed to her. "Get some sleep, Jules. I'll wake you up in a few hours when it's your turn. _Baby, you can sleep while I drive…_" He sang off-key, in an exaggerated husky voice. She yawned again, giving into the tiredness as she spread the blanket over herself then resumed her previous position.

"You realise she ups and leaves at the end of that song, right? It's supposed to be bittersweet."

"Huh… I didn't. I always thought it was a happy, romantic song. That kinda sucks. Well I ain't going anywhere, so sleep."

"Promise me you _will_ wake me. Don't go thinking you can do a few hours extra before you do." He smirked and she caught it, knowing that the thought had already crossed his mind. He stubbornly refused to answer her, hoping she'd drop off before he had to. He had no such luck, however.

"James…" she prodded, just as stubbornly.

"Alright, I promise." He relented with a large sigh.

"Good. 'Night."

"Sweet dreams, Blondie."


	19. Chapter 19

Well, I really should start with an apology for taking so long with this chapter, but with my workload at uni, it looks like sporadic is how it's going to have to be from now on. Sorry as well for the fact that this chapter doesn't really advance the plot all that much, but it ended up a decent length and appropriate ending, so I thought it would be better to get this up now as it is rather than continue with it for who knows how long for the sake of a bit more action. As ever, thanks so much for all the reviews and sticking with it for so long!

**Chapter 19**

"James, could you get the rest of this zip? I can't quite reach it," Juliet asked as she rushed out of the bathroom whilst securing an earring. Sarah was due any second and she was running slightly late.

With his back to her in his chair, James marked his place and put his book down on a nearby coffee table. "I've always wondered, how on earth do women put dresses on when there's no-one round to help… them…?" He trailed off as he stood and turned to catch sight of her. She had on a floor-length gown of dark ruby-red satin, slit up one side to the knee. It hugged nearly every exquisite curve – gaping slightly where it was still unzipped. Nevertheless the effect was stunning and he was rendered honest-to-god speechless.

"What?" she asked in confusion at his blank expression as she put the second earring in. "What's wrong? Should I wear my hair up do you think? Is it the dress? I've got another, I'll go get it." As she nervously babbled his feet had drawn him towards her. She turned to go retrieve the second dress and he quickly reached out to clasp her wrist to stop her. She looked back up at him, her eyebrow quirked questioningly until she met his gaze and realisation dawned.

"You _like_ the dress?" she asked coyly, a slow smile appearing as he visibly gulped to compose himself.

"You honestly have no idea just how beautiful you are, do ya Blondie?" He whispered hoarsely as his hand slid down her wrist to grasp her fingers. "Why couldn't they have dresses like that in the Seventies?" Her smile grew endearingly crooked as she considered his words.

"Nobody's ever told me that much before you." She shrugged and frowned slightly at the admission.

"Well, that's just… insane." He gently turned her round and slid the zip up fully, brushing the waves of hair to the side as he did so to allow him access to her neck. "You take my breath away, Juliet, I swear to God." He gently squeezed her shoulders as he leant in to drop soft kisses on her neck and jawline. He felt her relax back against him and hum her approval. "Hmm… and you smell so good. I think you should ditch this shindig." She tensed and sighed deeply before turning in his arms to look at him reproachfully.

"You know I can't. This is our best chance to approach him." A mischievous glint appeared in her eyes as she continued, "So I look OK then?"

"Simply stunning, my dear," He drawled. "The hair is just perfect, the make-up…" She chuckled as he held her at arms length in order to perform a quick critical appraisal, "Classy and befitting a recent Nobel laureate. The dress however," He shook his head woefully before pulling her back towards him so her body was once again flush with his.

"Now, for the record _I _love it…"

"I can tell," She interrupted archly and smirked. He nodded in agreement and smirked back at her.

"However… can't say I'm too happy that other men will be seeing you in it. Jackass doctors no less – including Saint Jack himself, who we both know had a thing for you back in the day." She rolled her eyes and gave him a gentle shove, turning to retrieve items for her purse.

"What, before he rode the chopper off into the sunset with Kate?"

"Say, what's wrong with that black dress you wore in Vegas," he continued, ignoring her jibe. "That was very pretty and a bit more… understated."

"Because that's over three years old and I can afford new clothes, James – and what was wrong with that dress?" She swept about the room, picking up lip-gloss and a small brush. "Have you seen my shoes?" She looked about in confusion, checking fruitlessly under the bed.

"I'm sorry, I stopped listenin'," He shook his head in comical exaggeration, as if to clear it. "I got distracted by that big-ass slit up the side there," he indicated her exposed calf.

"I'm wearing it, get over it." A knock sounded on the door and she smiled. "Saved by the bell!" She hurried over to answer it and Sawyer had to grin as his gaze followed her; he could tell she was excited at seeing her old college friend again.

She enthusiastically swung the door open to reveal a petite woman with long dark brown hair and an eager grin to match Juliet's.

"Julie!" she cried and rushed through the door, stopping briefly to exclaim, "Would you look at you! You look amazing! What's your secret?" before launching herself forward to engulf Juliet in a tight hug.

"So do you! Oh it's so good to see you, Sarah. It's been too long." Juliet replied as she squeezed the other woman back. Over her shoulder, Sarah caught sight of an amused Sawyer standing watching them, it was such a rarity to see Juliet shed her natural reticence that he couldn't help but revel in the sight.

"Well I think I found the answer to my last question," Sarah whispered into her ear. "Is this the new mystery man?"

Juliet pulled back and smiled widely before taking Sarah's hand and leading her over to where Sawyer stood.

"Sarah, I'd like you to meet James." She looked from Sarah to Sawyer expectantly and from the look in her eyes, he could tell that this friend meant a lot to her and this was a big deal.

"It's a pleasure," he nodded gallantly and stuck out his hand.

"Great to meet you James." She warmly took his offered hand and shook it as she appraised him, an unrestrained smile and sparkling eyes lighting up her face. Sawyer immediately knew he'd like this bubbly brunette before him. She released his hand and stepped back to address Juliet once more.

"So Julie, welcome to LA. I've decided not to dwell on how long it's been since you last came to see me and embrace the fact that you're here at all. Despite the fact that you're just using me to meet the handsome Dr Shepherd…" Juliet started to protest at this but she loftily waved her off. "Don't worry, I'll forgive you as long as you've brought pictures of your gorgeous nephew for me to coo over." Juliet smiled and rolled her eyes, ignoring Sawyer's subtle bristle at the mention of Jack.

"How about I show you them when I shout you lunch tomorrow? I'm almost ready, just need to find my shoes." Sarah perched on the edge of the bed and made a show of pretending to consider Juliet's peace offering.

"Deal. Is that them in the corner under that chair?" Juliet looked over to where she was pointing and shot her back a look of surprise then hurried over to retrieve them. She gave James a mildly perturbed look as she passed him, confused at his uncharacteristic silence. He now stood with his arms folded across his chest, staring deep in thought at a random spot on the carpet.

"So why all this cloak and dagger stuff? Couldn't you just email the guy with whatever it is you want to ask him?" Juliet's eyes flicked to Sawyer as she put her shoes on, but he wasn't paying any attention.

"Well… it's complicated. I haven't been entirely honest with you. It's not just research I want to talk to him about. James and he, they uh… were old friends but had a big bust up years ago. We have a favour we need to ask him and I'm to be the proverbial olive branch."

"So you already know him then?"

"Not as such, no. Like I said, it's complicated." Sarah gave a small shrug and jumped back up to her feet.

"Ok, well we best be getting down there." Juliet nodded and turned to Sawyer.

"James." He gave no answer, but the slight scowl on his face meant trouble. He hadn't heard a word they'd said. She moved closer to him and placed a hand on his arm, feeling the tension, and repeated his name once more. He shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts and looked up at her.

"I'm coming with you." He stated firmly.

"We discussed it, James. It's best for me to do this on my own."

"I don't trust him as far as I can throw him, especially it he's been drinkin', and we don't know how this will go down."

"It's Jack and I'm sure it can only really go one of two ways. Plus I think I can handle myself in a crowded ballroom." She added with a wry smile.

"Don't doubt it for a second, Blondie, but still I want to be close by. I'll go crazy just sittin' up here waitin'. Please, just humour me Ok? I'll hide out in the bar."

Sarah watched the whole exchange with great interest. There was clearly much more going on than anyone was willing to tell her. Just what had Juliet gotten herself into?

"Ok, fine," Juliet relented with a sigh. "But you'll have to change. Take off that shirt." Sawyer looked down at the souvenir zoo t-shirt he'd barely taken off since Clementine insisted he buy it. He shrugged and removed it as Juliet rooted in his case for something more suitable. Both failed to notice the open mouthed appreciation on Sarah's face as he did so. Juliet finally found what she was looking for and handed it to him.

"It could do with an iron, but it'll have to do. Come on, let's go." As he buttoned up the new shirt and raked a hand through his hair Juliet turned back to her friend.

"Sorry about all this," she apologised "I'll make sure he keeps out of the way." Now she noticed Sarah was paying her no attention, instead staring at Sawyer for some unfathomable reason. She looked back over to him in confusion to see if there was something wrong but he seemed fine and ready to go. Great, everyone was zoning out on her tonight.

"Sarah?" She waved a hand in front of her friend's eyes, gaining her attention once more.

"Huh? Uh… sorry. Let's go!"

A few minutes later, they were standing in a bar downstairs, near to the ballroom the gala was taking place in. Sawyer and Juliet stood talking in hushed tones, whilst Sarah maintained a discrete distance to allow them some privacy.

"What if all this is a waste of time and he doesn't remember anything, what then? Our plan is basically to show up and see what happens." Sawyer absentmindedly ran his hand up and down her forearm as he had last minute doubts. Juliet shrugged in exasperation.

"Maybe I'll kiss him. Seemed to work with you."

"I'll break both his legs if you do," he growled with a deep scowl, causing her to laugh lightly at his reaction.

"What, even if it isn't his fault?" she admonished as she took his hand to still its motion. It was his turn to shrug.

"I'm sure he'll have done something to deserve it, jackass that he is." Juliet sighed and leaned in to kiss him briefly.

"I wish you'd let go of all this animosity, James. It's not healthy."

"When have I ever done something because it's healthy?" he quipped with a smile.

"True." She smirked simply in return, though her gaze maintained its seriousness. He knew she wasn't going to let it drop with a joke. He relented and kissed her back before replying.

"I'll try, I promise. Now go in there and work your magic. I got your back from here if you need me."

With a nod and a smile, she let go of his hand and retreated to join the waiting Sarah. They both waved and turned to leave and he shook his head to himself in wonder once more at how she looked in that dress as she left, before turning to the bar and ordering a beer. Settling himself down on a vacant stool, he prepared for a tortuous wait.

"So tell me, where on earth did you find him, why have you never mentioned him before, and just what the hell happened to… Chris was it?" Sarah let forth a barrage of questions as they headed down the hallway towards the ballroom. "I have to tell you Julie, when he took of his shirt… I almost fainted!"

"I noticed," Juliet noted wryly, stalling slightly in answering. She was uncomfortable in lying to one of her oldest friends and was resolved to answer at least partly truthfully. "We first met not that long after Ed died…"

"Good, that bastard didn't deserve you mourning his loss," she rolled her eyes at the look Juliet shot her and sighed dramatically, "I know, I'm _sorry_. Won't mention him again for the rest of the night, I promise. Anyway continue. The delectable James…"

"Well, circumstances caused us to lose touch until he looked me up just a few weeks ago. I left Chris to be with him and here we are." Sarah gasped and froze mid-step.

"Juliet Burke!" she exclaimed, "That is so… not like you!" She laughed at the look on her friend's face and strode forward to slip her arm through Juliet's. "But I like it," she whispered conspiratorially. "There's something… happy about you and if that's down to him well fair play to you. Plus that Chris was always a bit of a stuffed shirt." Doubt crossed her features as a sudden thought struck her.

"I hate to say this, but you're sure he's not just after your money, aren't you? You have to admit the timing's a bit convenient, him showing up now." Juliet squeezed her arm, grateful for her friend's concern and honesty.

"I'm positive, he's not like that." She cringed slightly to herself as she said this - all too aware that once upon a time that was exactly what he was like.

"So what does he do?" Sarah continued, accepting her assurances.

"Security. For research facilities mostly. He's between jobs at the moment while he looks for something in Miami."

"So that's how you met him, through work?"

"No. In a bar in Las Vegas, actually." Juliet smirked wickedly as Sarah stopped dead in her tracks once more at this.

"Nooo! Shit. Who are you and what have you done to my best friend?" Juliet grinned and turned to enter the gala. Sarah quickly recovered and reached out to stop her, earning her a questioning look.

"Before we go in, I have a little confession to make." Sarah looked decidedly guilty, causing Juliet's confusion to deepen.

"Sarah… what have you done?" she asked ominously.

"I know you kinda wanted to fly under the radar, but I couldn't help myself from bragging that you were my friend and coming tonight." Juliet's look darkened slightly and she rushed on, "It's a dog-eat-dog world in paediatric surgery and I could do with the qudos." At this Juliet scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Come off it, you're one of the best in the country. You just couldn't help yourself could you?" She smiled indulgently and Sarah breathed a sigh of relief, knowing she was forgiven.

"Come on… give me this one little thing. Let me bask in your reflected glory."

"You're just lucky you know too many of my college skeletons, that's all I can say. Come on." Juliet grabbed her friend's arm and propelled them both into the room.


	20. Chapter 20

So, I've decided that shorter chapters more often is the way to go if I'm ever going to manage to keep this going. Thank you all for your continued support and patience. It means the world. Who knew this would end up so epic in proportions. I can honestly say I've never written anything of this length before! I'm amazed at both my own perseverance and people's positive reactions to it.

**Chapter 20**

Swirling his glass and watching the cubes of ice careen and bounce off each other as they danced amongst the remnants of his drink, Jack sighed and cursed this part of his job for what felt like the hundredth time since he'd arrived not half an hour ago. Socially awkward at the best of times, since his father's death he just didn't have the energy to put on the pretence of caring what his peers thought. He was damn good at his job, and that should be enough. Unfortunately the hospital didn't quite agree with that assessment and so here he was, ordered to smile and schmoose with the good – and more importantly wealthy – people of LA. Whilst excruciating enough normally, tonight it was compounded by the fact that all people wanted to talk about was his father and the _great loss_ that the profession had been dealt by his death.

Jack had suffered through it the twenty or so minutes it had taken to make his way across the floor to the bar and now here he sat, glass in hand and trying for all the world to look as uninviting as possible. He tilted the now watery remains of his Scotch down his throat and shook the glass in the direction of the bartender to indicate another. As he waited he caught sight of a flurry of activity near the door and looked over in curiosity. A fairly substantial crowd had begun to form around who he spied through the throng to be Dr Harris from the Paeds unit and a blonde woman he couldn't place. It seemed to be the blonde who held everyone's attention and as she smiled serenely and shook proffered hands, she looked to be about as comfortable with the situation as he would have been. His gaze lingered on her face and as she quirked an eyebrow at something someone said, he became sure that he recognised her from somewhere.

His drink had arrived and he took a thoughtful sip as he continued to watch. Other than the odd flash of a red dress, he couldn't see much beyond her face, but she was certainly very beautiful. The longer he observed her as the crowd slowly dissipated and they made their way across the floor - stopping to talk to people just as he had done earlier - the more he became convinced that he somehow knew her. A soft laugh, a toss of her head or a slow smile that reached her blue eyes - were all familiar to him, but he couldn't place why. He was almost certain he'd never met her before.

A snatch of conversation floated his way as two of his colleagues passed by. He caught the name _Dr Burke_ and it fell into place. She had just won the nobel prize and was all over the medical journals. He'd even caught a few press conferences and interviews on TV when the story first broke. That coupled with the fact that there was more than a passing resemblance to his ex-wife must be causing his mind to play tricks on him. Or maybe it was the third whiskey. Noticing that they were headed over to the bar, he quickly swung back round in his seat and took a gulp of his drink before staring intently into it once more.

Juliet caught a brief glimpse of him, over by the bar, almost as soon as they entered the room. She barely had time to indicate his position to Sarah before one of her friend's colleagues approached and struck up a conversation. Sarah had no choice but to introduce them and before they knew it, word had gotten out and a small crowd had started to gather. Not six months ago, such interest would have had her running for the hills, but she now had the fortitude of numerous similar appearances behind her and bore it with equanimity.

Eventually they had traversed the floor and were within ten feet of the bar, standing talking to one last eager colleague of Sarah's. She allowed her gaze to settle on him briefly as she feigned interest in the conversation. Her stomach gave an involuntary lurch and she cursed both the man that had inspired it and herself for the reaction. Her initial attraction and belief in him had long been supplanted by anger and bitter disappointment at his abandonment then grief at his – their return. Yet one glance and for a split-second she was transported back to the dank and dark Hydra and she hated it. Her feelings for Jack had only been a fraction of what James felt for Kate, no wonder he was terrified at coming face to face with her again. Looking again; this time past the resentment, she noted that he radiated sadness and fatigue. Never before had she seen him look so defeated and this alarmed her. No matter what, he'd always had a cause to fight for, right or wrong. Slumped over his whiskey glass, he looked so lost that a flood of compassion washed her residual anger away and she just wanted to give him a hug.

With one last benign smile to the doctor they had been talking to, they finally reached the bar. Sarah sighed dramatically and ordered them drinks before turning to Juliet.

"I take it all back, you can keep the fame! I don't know how you have the patience. A few times there I wanted to punch someone, and I know them all! Well, most of them… I think. I'm so sorry, I should be buying _you_ lunch."

"It's fine, Sarah, honestly. You get used to it I guess." Juliet laughed. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Jack trying to pretend that he wasn't eves-dropping, but the slight smirk that graced his features gave him away. She had to wonder at his interest, did he recognise her? She tilted her head slightly in his direction and Sarah took the hint. Grabbing her drink, she swung round and pretended to notice him for the first time.

"Hey Jack!" She exclaimed brightly, "I see you've taken the sensible option and are hiding out from the vultures." Ushering Juliet over with her hand, she continued, "Dr Jack Shepherd, allow me to introduce a good friend of mine…"

"Dr Burke. It's a pleasure," he interrupted and slid off his stool slightly to offer his hand.

"You know who I am?" Whilst her face remained impassive, Jack swore he could detect an unsettling eagerness to her voice and a mesmerising flash of emotion cross her eyes as she held his gaze.

"Ah, well," He gave a short self-deprecating laugh and ran his hand over his head. "I'd be a disgrace to our profession if I wasn't aware of who you are. Congratulations, Dr Burke."

"I see, thank you." Was that a hint of disappointment she valiantly tried to conceal? It was gone in an instant, replaced by a warm smile. "Please, call me Juliet."

"Juliet," he repeated, enjoying the feel of it on his tongue and slightly surprised at the familiarity it invoked. It seemed to suit her, he thought as he took her in – there was an ethereal and slightly tragic quality about her. He found himself drawn into it, like a moth to a flame.

Sarah had taken a slight step back as she took in the pair's introduction. An undercurrent of tension had arisen despite the cordial smiles and handshakes. The whole situation was becoming more and more of an enigma to her. Well, she thought, Juliet seemed more than capable of handling whatever the hell it was she was after, time to make a hasty retreat.

"I've just spotted someone I need to have a word with. I'll be right back Julie, you OK here?"

"Sure," Juliet replied distractedly, giving her friend's arm a slight squeeze to show her appreciation. "I'll be fine." Sarah nodded, and with a smile, slipped off and into the crowd.

Jack looked at the retreating paediatrician with some confusion, then back to meet Juliet's gaze briefly, before breaking eye-contact with a somewhat nervous laugh.

"Have we just been set up here?"

"I… uh… hope not. She just met my boyfriend for the first time less than an hour ago. She seemed to like him, but with Sarah, you never can tell. May I?" She indicated the empty stool next to him.

"Of course," was it his turn to be disappointed, Jack thought? Just when the evening seemed to be looking up. "Oh, is he here? I'm sorry, I didn't think you were with anyone…"

"No, I'm just here with Sarah. This is definitely not James' scene," she searched Jack's face when she mentioned his name – no reaction. "He's about somewhere though, hiding out in a bar or our hotel room."

"So what brings you to LA? Work?"

"No, actually for the first time in months it's not all about my work. James' daughter lives with her mom in New Mexico, we were visiting them for a while and now we're here to help out a friend if we can. It's also been ages since I've seen Sarah, and she talked me into coming with her tonight."

"You known her long? She's a nice girl – always has time for everybody. Damned good doctor."

"College roommates," Juliet replied with a fond smile. "She's one of a kind, that's for sure."

Jack nodded and took a sip of his drink. Juliet did likewise and an uncomfortable silence prevailed for a few minutes, whilst Jack fumbled for something to say to this mysterious and unexpected companion and Juliet decided how best to broach the whole subject of _the island_ without coming off as insane.

"I know you're probably sick of hearing this, but I'm sorry to hear about your father." Jack raised his eyebrows in surprise at this.

"You knew him?"

"No, just by reputation. I know he was very proud of you." Jack snorted derisively at this and took a gulp of his drink.

"Yeah, you've obviously never met him." He set his drink back down and looked apologetically over to her, sorry for his bitter tone.

"Is that why you're hiding out, downing single malts? He must throw a pretty hefty shadow." She asked softly. Again he couldn't conceal his surprise, this time at her accurate insight. Was he that obvious that a stranger could peg him so quickly? Or was it just a talent of this particular stranger. She tilted her head slightly and gave him an empathic smile, standing firm under his scrutiny. Juliet sadly reflected that it always had been incredibly easy to push the right buttons with him. He really had to toughen up.

"Am I that transparent?" He asked painfully with a slight grimace.

"No, it's just that I can relate to it. Three years ago my ex-husband died suddenly in an accident. He was also my superior. I remember not that long after hiding out at the bar on a night similar to this. I just couldn't take any more of people's asinine condolences. Substitute pinot for the scotch though." He laughed slightly then nodded to agree with her admission and accurate assessment. Lifting his glass once more, he raised it in a toast.

"To long shadows, then." She did likewise and repeated his toast before taking a sip.

"So how did you make it through that night? How did you put up with it…all?" he swept his arm out across the room to illustrate his point. A huge smile lit up her face and for a moment she was lost in her own recollections. She positively glowed and Jack held his breath, unable to keep his eyes off her.

"Actually, that was the first time I met James. I never did make it back to the party." Jack felt a slight stirring of envy of this guy who had caused her to smile like that.

"Well, I guess I don't have his luck then," he paused before carrying on, the alcohol making him feel bold. "Can't say I blame him for spiriting you away from them." She shook her head slightly and affixed him with a knowing gaze that unsettled him with its intensity.

"It's not me you want Jack," she stated with a slight hint of sadness, "It never was." This puzzled him, but her next question completely threw him for a loop.

"How was your flight back from Sydney, Jack?"


	21. Chapter 21

So it seems this is neither significantly shorter nor quicker in coming. I can but apologise and hope that everyone hasn't forgotten all about it by now.

**Chapter 21**

"Excuse me?" was Jack's stunned response. Juliet grimaced slightly; of course it was never going to be that easy. There was no way she could do this without running the risk of coming off crazy if he didn't remember. May as well just rip off the band-aid. She straightened in her seat and forged ahead.

"Returning your father's body, how was the flight? Anything strange or out of the ordinary happen?" Jack's brow furrowed as he struggled to recall anything, she had to give him credit for seriously considering her bizarre request.

"Nothing that I can think of, it was pretty uneventful. I'm sorry, but what the hell does that have to do with anything?" The confusion was evident on his features. It was now or never.

"What if I told you that flight was never meant to arrive safely; that in actual fact you crashed on an island in the Pacific? That we met on that island and eventually we ended up in the past and detonated a hydrogen bomb to alter the sequence of events that led to your plane falling out of the sky. We altered time Jack, and now here you are, drowning your sorrows and avoiding the world because this time around your plane made it to LA."

Jack let out a whoosh of air that he'd been holding as he incredulously listened to her speech. He took a gulp of whiskey to soothe his suddenly parched throat. He eyed her with suspicion for a beat before answering.

"Well… I'd look around for hidden cameras and ask you who put you up to this. Failing that I would have to call you crazy."

"I appreciate that crazy wasn't your first thought." Juliet gave a wry smile.

"Well, you don't look insane, or drunk. Though there is a bit of a trend of scientific geniuses having a screw or two loose."

"I'm not a genius and unfortunately I'm not crazy. It's the truth, I swear to you and I need you to remember Jack. We need your help – Kate needs your help." Juliet could have sworn she saw him visibly start at that name. She leaned towards him earnestly and placed a hand on his arm.

"Kate Austen. Does that name mean anything to you?" Jack shook his head in confusion. The truth was the name did strike a chord with him, but he wasn't about to admit it aloud.

"Never heard of her." He answered evenly, ignoring a slight tingling sensation under the weight of her hand on his forearm. Willing himself not to look down at it, he looked her over with a perplexed gaze, but her face gave nothing away. "Ok, I'll bite. So you were also on this supposed plane crash?" She sighed slightly and removed her hand once more, leaning back into her seat. He felt both relieved and oddly bereft at the distance created.

"No, I was already there. Three years previous I had been tricked into taking a job offer and unable to leave. I was with a group of natives you and your people called _Others_." This time she noticed an involuntary twitch and slight furrow to his brow and she pushed on, convinced that she was getting somewhere, however small.

"We met when my boss kidnapped you and some of your friends and coerced you into removing a tumour from his spine. His name was Benjamin Linus. We helped each other, and you kinda helped me escape from them."

"…and just how did that lead to hydrogen bombs?" Jack asked sceptically, his unease growing. She had just mentioned yet another name that despite him being positive he shouldn't know, for some inconceivable reason sent a shiver of recognition up his spine. Surely, none of this was actually possible?

"It's complicated. Very complicated and to be honest I had hoped you would remember before I had to try to explain it." She winced slightly at how lame that sounded. His memories were in there somewhere, she was sure of it, but fantastic stories weren't going to do it. She needed a trigger of some kind – _maybe she should just kiss him after all_, she thought in exasperation.

"Well my life's just about as complicated as I can handle right now." He picked up his glass, downed the last of his drink and flashed her a distrustful, nervous look before sliding off his stool. "As fascinating as all this sounds, I've reached my quota of crazy for the year. It was an honour to meet you Dr Burke, but I have hands to shake." He swayed slightly before turning to leave.

"Wait!" In desperation she reached out and grabbed his left forearm roughly. "Right here, on your arm, you have a tattoo. Well several actually. On your inside bicep there's a set of blue and red stars, but here…" she slid her hand round as he looked on in stunned silence, "Underneath the number 5 surrounded by pointed rays, there are four characters in Mandarin. You forced a woman that you met in Phuket, Achara to tattoo them and as a consequence her brother and his friends beat you and told you to leave. _He walks amongst us, but he is not one of us_." She released her hold on him and tentatively stepped back as he looked questioningly at her, down to his arm, then back up to meet her pleading gaze. She gave a small shrug.

"How could I know all that, if I didn't know you, Jack?" She neglected to add that her knowledge of his Thailand trip was courtesy of Mikhail, it wasn't something her and Jack had ever actually talked about, but she was grasping at straws.

"I… I don't know…" he faltered. He'd never told anyone that story. "I'm sorry, but I don't see how any of what you've said can possibly be true. My plane never crashed. I believe that you believe it, but…" he trailed off, not sure what to say.

"I'm not the only one. James was also on your plane. I'd like to introduce you to him if you'll let me. You went through a lot together on the island; maybe he can trigger your memories." He sighed and hesitated, looking like he wanted nothing more than to get away from her.

"Please. He's just in the bar down the corridor. Hear him out and if you still don't believe us, we'll leave you be. I promise." He ran his hand over his head in agitation and looked away as he considered her request. He didn't know what it was about this woman. The logical part of his brain was telling him that she was obviously insane and he should get the hell away, but looking back at her, he just couldn't bring himself to refuse.

"Ok. I'll meet him."

#####

Sawyer caught himself looking at his watch yet again and scowled as he took a sip of his beer, his knee bouncing in agitation. Not even an hour had gone past since Juliet had left him. He hated that he had no way of knowing how she was getting on and nothing useful to do but sit and wait. Maybe he should have stayed upstairs - at least there he would have a TV to take his frustration out on. He had sat at a corner booth with a full view of the door and snapped to attention anytime someone entered the room - which did nothing but increase his impatience.

To compound his misery, for the last thirty minutes he had been steadfastly trying to avoid meeting the eye of a sultry brunette who had been not too subtly watching him from across the bar. In his peripheral vision, he saw her slide off her stool and slink towards him with a half drunk cosmo in her hand.

"I couldn't help but notice you've been nursing that beer and staring at the door for a while now. It doesn't look like they're coming." She eased into the vacant side of the booth without invitation and smiled at him in anticipation. He took a quick swig of his beer and slowly raised his gaze up to scowl at her, inadvertently resting for a second on her ample cleavage as he did so. His pause didn't escape her notice and her smile widened, not in the least intimidated by his dark look.

"Actually, I'm just waitin' for my _girlfriend_ to finish up with a business meeting. I appreciate the concern, but I ain't interested," he growled.

"Well, why don't I just keep you company until she arrives then?" She purred, obviously not believing him. Sawyer caught sight of a flash of red and was out of his seat in an instant as Juliet came into view.

"No need, sweetcheeks. My company's here." He held out his hand to usher the now surprised interloper out of her seat. As she stood she turned to catch an icy stare from Juliet as she approached. She defiantly held it for a second, before wilting slightly and turned to return to the bar without a second glance, missing Sawyer's annoyed shake of the head and glare. Juliet caught it, however and smirked as she realised that the situation was innocent, on Sawyer's side at least.

"Making friends are we?" She teased, once she was within speaking distance. Sawyer shrugged helplessly then smiled broadly before noticing for the first time the man cautiously trailing a few paces behind her. He shot her a loaded look to which she replied with a slight shake of her head. By this time she had reached him and looked back to smile encouragingly at Jack.

"Jack Shephard, this is James Ford. Or Sawyer, as he also goes by."

"Used to go by." Sawyer amended, earning himself an indulgent smile from Juliet, before they both returned their attention to a suspicious Jack. Repressing the urge to hit the guy, Sawyer instead forced a genial smile and stuck out his hand.

"Doc."

"Sawyer," Jack replied instinctively as they stiffly shook hands.

Sawyer indicated the now empty booth and they all silently slid into it. Sawyer let Juliet enter first before sitting beside her, leaving Jack no choice but to sit opposite them. Sawyer tried to reason with himself it was merely a show of unity that he sat so close to her, but when she placed her hand on his knee and he quickly covered it with his own, he had to admit the move was a blatant show of possession and judging by Jack's uncomfortable look, it hadn't been missed. Good, he thought smugly, regardless of whether Jack remembered or not, Sawyer didn't trust him.

"Drink?" Sawyer asked gruffly. Jack nodded mutely and Sawyer attracted the attention of a passing waitress. "Two beers and a pinot grigio." Judging by Jack's slight sway and haggard appearance, he'd already been hitting the harder stuff. He gave Juliet's hand a reassuring squeeze and took a deep breath.

"So, the elephant in the room. I understand you don't remember nothin', yet here you are. Why didn't you hightail it outta there? Pretty sure I would've."

"Your girlfriend was quite persuasive, I'll admit." Jack replied smoothly, causing Sawyer to bristle at the implication. Juliet felt him tense and brought their clasped hands above the table in her own show of unity. Jack glanced down at them fleetingly before back up to steadily hold Sawyer's gaze once more. "I agreed to hear you out. Nothing more. That's not to say I'm buying into this crackpot story."

"Just how much did Jules tell you then?"

"That _apparently_ my flight back from Sydney should have crashed. That you both claim to know me." He replied succinctly and leaned back expectantly. He wasn't about to make this farce easy on them. Sawyer and Juliet exchanged a quick glance, silently agreeing that he should take the reigns.

"Unfortunately, Doc, we know each other very well. I was also on that plane and it _did_ crash. Forty-eight of us survived. Sit back, drink yer beer and I'll tell you the whole goddamn story…"

####

"Kate Austen… seriously not ringing any bells with you? She's been all over the news, man." Sawyer reached into his back pocket and drew out a printed mug-shot and news article, slapping it down on the table. Juliet shot him a surprised look, but he was too caught up in studying Jack's reaction to notice. _What the hell was he doing carrying round a photo of Kate?_ She wondered, mentally filing that detail away for later, dreading the answer.

Jack meanwhile had studied the photo with barely concealed curiosity, though refused to pick it up. Sawyer's narrative of events had really started to unnerve him. It was fantasy – pure fantasy, but why had some of his tale chill him to the core, just like those green eyes that stared hauntingly at him from the print-out.

"It's possible, I guess, but as you just said – she's been all over the news. It proves nothing."

"Well ain't that convenient!" Sawyer leaned over menacingly, "Thing is Doc, she's a big part of the reason you came back to _supposedly_ save us. Why you wrecked our lives and was so gung-ho over that bomb. Well look where she is now! Does she look happy? Are you?" The last was punctuated with a slam of his fist to the table.

"James." Juliet stated, her voice soft but with a warning edge. He sighed in frustration and slumped back into the chair.

"Sorry," he muttered, "I'm just tryin' to get you to remember. We need you to remember. We can't help Kate on our own."

"I have a question. Say I suspend disbelief for a moment – why is it you remember all this when I don't? And you, Juliet, why aren't you still on this island if you weren't on the plane?"

"We don't know," Juliet replied. "We didn't at first either, and the best we can come up with is that something needs to trigger it. We both remembered when we got together. I'm here because this time around I didn't take the job. Something compelled me to turn them down, simple as that. I subsequently met James in a bar, as I told you earlier, a few months later. Only we didn't see each other again until…" she trailed off and looked to Sawyer, who smoothly took the hint and carried on.

"Ever since the flight I felt that something was off and I couldn't place it. My old life disgusted me and I wanted out. A few weeks ago I saw Jules' picture in the paper and I just had to see her again. I went to Miami, tracked her down and… it just all fell into place." He finished with a shrug of his shoulders.

Jack felt sick. He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or all that these two strangers were bombarding him with. He looked down and again caught sight of Kate's picture. His stomach lurched and something snapped – he had to get out of there.

"So now, on top of all this sci-fi crap, you're feeding me a sappy love story? I don't think so. It's too much! I… I don't know what kind of sick game you're both playing but I've had enough!" He jumped out of his seat, head swimming with the movement.

"Please… just leave me alone." With one last glance at the photo, he turned on his heel and bolted from the room. For a minute they both sat in dejected silence.

"Well, that went well, I feel." Juliet eventually ventured.

"The photo freaked him out. There's something there. I just can't see what we could do to get through to him."

"About that…"

"I ain't walking about with Kate's photo in my pocket if that's what yer thinkin'. I went to the business centre and printed it off whilst you were gone. Thought it might be useful." She hated herself for it, but stole a quick look at the time stamp on the bottom of the sheet. Sure enough it was printed less than two hours ago.

"Fair enough. Well, I don't think he's going to want to see us any time soon. What now?" She leaned her head wearily on his shoulder.

"Tomorrow, we hire a lawyer… and we go see Hugo."


	22. Chapter 22

Well, it's been about a month at least since my last update, so I'm sure everyone who had been reading has forgotten all about this by now. Little free time and a touch of writer's block made this chapter a sporadic effort at best. But anyway, Happy New Year to you all and on with the story…

**Chapter 22 **

"That friend of yours is crazy," Sawyer stated with an exaggerated shake of his head as he ushered Juliet out the restaurant and into the California sunshine, his hand resting comfortably at the small of her back. That morning they had met with and tentatively retained a lawyer on Kate's behalf, then had lunch with Sarah. Juliet merely smirked and so he continued as they traversed the parking lot in the direction of their car.

"I'm guessing sharing a room with her in college was never boring… and good for you if you think about it, draw you out of yourself." He was on a roll now with his musings and barely noticed her reaction change from confusion to amusement as he carried on oblivious. "I mean you can be quiet and serious and quite reflective now and you've said yourself how shy you used to be, so I can only imagine what you were like in college. It seems your friend Sarah is the exact opposite – loud and outgoing, funny, charming…"

"A bit like you come to think of it," she interrupted, looking over the roof of their car with a raised brow and laughed at his surprised expression. "You're right – maybe you're _both_ good for me." She grinned as they entered the car, but quickly schooled a blank and stern countenance, "Though I resent the implication that I'm apparently neither funny nor charming."

He flashed her a quick panicked look before realising she wasn't being serious.

"Aw, come off it Blondie, ya know it's yer sarcastic wit that I fell in love with." He drawled as he started the engine. "The smokin' hot looks I could take or leave – Hey!" He exclaimed in pain as she thumped his shoulder. "No, what I meant was, she's much more extroverted, is all."

"You really are quite similar now that I think about it. Only where you used your considerable charms to scheme money from people, she practises hers on the children she treats." She reached over and gently removed a lock of hair out of his eyes to ease the sting of her words as he navigated them out the lot.

"Yeah, that's just the same," he muttered, the self-loathing evident in his voice until he looked over to guiltily meet her eyes. Her loving smile however, eased his mind and his own gaze softened until he countered it with a smile of his own.

"So just who am I meant to charm now?" She removed her hand and leaned back into her seat.

"You always find someone," she noted wryly, "Plus that daughter of yours should keep you busy." He grinned at that, whilst trying to keep his attention on the road. They sat in silence for a few minutes as he negotiated the traffic until he pulled up at an intersection. The sign to the left pointed to Santa Rosa. Sawyer grimly looked over at Juliet. As she took a deep breath and nodded silently, he steeled himself and gunned the engine, pulling the car out – they were off to see Hurley.

#####

"Hugo sits out here most afternoons, he finds his drawings keep him calm," the nurse babbled as she led them out to a picnic table under a shady tree. From their approach they could see Hurley with his back to them, hunched over the table. Sawyer reached out and grabbed Juliet's hand as they got nearer, giving it a quick squeeze; an assurance to himself more than anything.

"Hugo?" The nurse called as they came up behind him. "There's some people here that want to speak to you. You up for that?" Hurley twisted round in his seat and looked them both over, confusion evident on his features. Sawyer took a deep breath and braced himself – time to try to convince yet another person that they weren't insane.

"Hey Hurley. I'm James and this is…" he tugged on Juliet's hand and half-turned to look at her as he spoke.

"Juliet." Hurley interrupted in disbelief. Sawyer swung his head back round in shock, only to be met with Hurley throwing his considerable frame at him, enveloping him in a big bear-hug.

"Dude, thank God you guys are here." Just as quickly Sawyer was released and Hurley moved on to Juliet. Not quite so sure of the blonde, he settled for grasping her now free hand between both of his.

"You… you know us, Hugo?" she asked in awe. This was definitely not the reception they were expecting.

"Yep!" He stated confidently and moved back slightly to look at them both, "and if you're both here – well that means I'm not crazy!" His relief was palpable. The nurse gave the three a curious once over before silently retreating back inside.

"You remember… the crash?" Sawyer asked tentatively as Hurley sat back down on his bench and grinned up at them.

"The crash… the island… the time travel!" He replied, vigorously nodding. Sawyer looked over at Juliet and they shared a huge grin of their own; they were finally catching a break.

"Well hell Doc Brown, I had a whole speech prepared and the Delorean fired up out the front." Sawyer drawled as he swaggered over and dropped onto the bench opposite.

"I'm not crazy," Hurley repeated softly, more to himself than them.

"Is that why you're in here, Hugo?" Juliet gently enquired as she took a seat next to Sawyer, "You remembered and you thought you were losing your mind?"

"Yeah," he replied with a heavy sigh, dropping his eyes to his drawing. It wasn't lost on either of them that his scribblings resembled a bonfire on a tropical beach, black smoke curling up into the sky.

"Well if you are, then so are we. Think they have two extra beds in this place?" she stated lightly, coaxing a smile back on his face.

"They frown on patients… uh… fraternizing…" Hurley stammered, blushing slightly.

"Well that's us out Blondie." Sawyer grinned, answering Hurley's unspoken question. "So… how did you remember? When did you remember? When did you end up in this place?"

"Back here," Hurley corrected him. "I spent a while in here before Australia. As for remembering; a week or so after returning, I started getting these dreams – nightmares. They were so vivid and when I woke up I remembered every detail of them. Got that I hated going to sleep. Then I started having these flashes of images when I was awake too. Went to a therapist and they thought it was repressed memories resurfacing. But they couldn't be, the plane never crashed right? After about a month, they just stopped. Everything had returned. I started thinking maybe it _had_ all happened and so I looked people up and found that you all were real, not just my imagination. So I went to see Jack. He'd remember and he'd help. Tell me what to do.

"Went up to him at his work and asked him if he had the time. He looked at me… and nothing, dude didn't recognise me. Gave me the time and walked off as if I was nobody to him. That's when I decided that I must be crazy after all and checked back into here.

"What I don't get is what happened, did Jack set the bomb off?" He looked at Sawyer then Juliet for answers. It was then that they realised that Hurley hadn't actually been present at the Swan site. He had stayed further up the hill to tend to Sayid. Sawyer shot Juliet a look and grimaced.

"In a manner of speaking. So you just… remembered? All on your own, without any trigger?"

"Pretty much dude. I can't think of anything. How did you guys remember?"

"Oh, James stalked me for a while."

"Dammit woman I did not stalk you!" She merely looked at him with a raised eyebrow until he reluctantly relented. "Just a little." He shook his head as she rolled her eyes and looked back at a curious Hurley.

"Jeez. Where to start? Jules here never ended up on the island. Turned old Ricardo down when he tried to recruit her."

"It's strange," she interjected. "I have two different memories of how it played out. In one version I'm flattered by their attentions and accept, but in the other… _this_ version I was too creeped out by their actions and declined. I'm pretty sure that's where things diverge for me. This was 2001. A few months later I met James randomly at an event in Las Vegas. Neither of us remembered then, but I did have a few… strange moments."

"The Feds caught up with me soon after and we lost touch. About a month ago I saw her in the paper. Couldn't tell you why but I headed to Miami to look her up… _assessed_ the situation for a bit then coerced her into a date. At this point we still didn't have a clue. Then I kissed her and the floodgates opened – for both of us. Guess it was meant to be."

"Wow, that's the sappiest thing I've ever heard you say, dude. So you've only been together a few weeks?"

"Sappy my ass! You asked what happened and I told you. But yeah, few weeks give or take three years. Anyway, what's this I hear about you winning the lottery? Sure kept that one quiet Scrooge McDuck!"

"That money's a curse. It's brought nothing but bad luck to everyone around me – another reason I checked back in here." Hurley sighed morosely and toyed with a discarded crayon. Sawyer had never seen him so down, especially given his joy at seeing them not ten minutes previously.

"We need your help Hurley. We've already tried Jacko but got much the same response as you. Although he also thinks we're mental cases and warned us to stay the hell away, so you got off lightly."

"You need my help?" The surprise was evident in his tone and expression. "You guys never needed my help, unless it was food related."

"Sure I did! I grant you I didn't always realise it, but I did – what about the time you convinced me to catch that boar?"

"Food related." Sawyer shook his head vehemently and was about to counter, but Juliet intervened, sensing they were in danger of getting off track. She reached over and placed a hand on Hurley's arm to get his attention.

"We need your help in getting Kate out of prison."

"What? Kate's in jail??? You guys are gonna bust her out?" cried Hurley, confused at the turn of conversation.

"Of course we ain't busting her out!" Sawyer glanced over to Juliet, this hadn't actually occurred to him before… maybe… the icy glare he received stopped that thought dead. "Definitely not. Didn't you know she was on the run? She's been all over the news these past few weeks. Guess we really didn't share that much about ourselves, huh?

"Anyway she's accused of murdering her step-father and some other… stuff. We want to get her a better legal team. We have some money, but can't foot the bill by ourselves. It's a big ask, but…"

"Didn't I just tell you that money's cursed? I'll only hurt her!"

"We wouldn't ask if we weren't desperate," Juliet pleaded. "Please Hurley, we can't do it without you. She needs our help. She has no funds of her own and is certain to go down with her current defence." He looked at them both for a few seconds, silently assessing the situation.

"Ok, I'll help. Whatever way I can." Sawyer and Juliet collectively released the breath they were holding.

"Thank you, Hurley. You're a good man." Juliet reached over once more, this time squeezing her hand in appreciation, whilst Sawyer nodded in relief.

"I'll need to check outta here to be able to access my accounts. It'll take a day or two."

"They'll just let you leave like that?" Sawyer asked in surprise.

"I'm here voluntarily man, no straight jacket," he threw his arms out in illustration, "Besides, seems I'm not as crazy as I thought."

At that moment Juliet's cell phone started ringing. She pulled it out her bag and glanced at the screen.

"Sorry, I have to take this, it's Rachel. I haven't called in days, guess I'm due a talking to." She stood and gave Sawyer's shoulder a quick squeeze as she moved away to answer it.

"Be sure to let her know I love her too," Sawyer sarcastically called after her.

"She's trying, James," She punched the call button and held it to her ear. "Hey Rach, what's up?"

"Her sister," Sawyer clarified, his gaze following her as she retreated a dozen paces and sat down on the grass as she listened to what no doubt was a tirade from her sister's end. She seemed to be taking it with good humour though, and Sawyer breathed a sigh of relief, momentarily forgetting Hurley's presence.

"Y'know we never really got a chance to catch up when we arrived back." Hurley's voice interrupted his reverie and he swung back round in his seat to regard him.

"No, guess we didn't. It all went to hell pretty quickly."

"Sorry 'bout that."

"Ah, it wasn't your fault, you weren't to know. Besides it was the Doc and Kate… and Sayid that were more proactive in their disruption."

"They thought they were doing what was right," Hurley defended.

"Yeah, however misguided. We just didn't need saving all that badly. Things had worked out fine for us. Weird… but fine. We had a life, a home, a community. Ain't never had all that before. Maybe it was selfish that I didn't want to give it up." Sawyer realised how cathartic it was, having somebody else who understood to talk to – someone outside their little bubble they'd created this past three weeks. He looked back over at Juliet and wished they hadn't hit a dead end with Miles or Jin. He didn't know at what point over the last three years he'd come to rely on having friends, but it still scared him a little. He returned his attention to Hurley and had to smile at the other guy's goofy grin. At least he had Hurley once more.

"So you two… kinda spooky, huh?" Sawyer dipped his head slightly and chuckled.

"Yeah. _Of all the gin joints in all the world…_" Sawyer quoted and Hurley smirked. "After we landed, I was wandering aimlessly in San Francisco one night, not sure what to do with my life. The heavens opened and I dove into a random bar, picked up a discarded newspaper and there she was, front page of the science section. I just had to find her."

"What was she doing in the paper?"

"You know she's a baby doctor right?" Hurley nodded, "Helps women get pregnant. Well the woman's a genius – an actual genius, man. Not having been waylaid by Ben and his cronies and with her douche-bag husband out of the picture, she carried on her research. Had a breakthrough with cancer patients and got awarded a Nobel Prize a couple months ago." The last was said with unrestrained pride.

"Dude. That's… wow."

"Isn't it?" Both men looked over to an oblivious Juliet, still chatting on the phone.

"When we got back and found you two together, seemed so left-field. Kate nearly choked on her waffles when I told her." Sawyer grimaced slightly at the mention

"Well three years is a long time. Hell three days is a long time when you're flashing through decades! We had each other's backs. Didn't happen overnight… but I love her man. Not ashamed to admit it. Kate and I, we were a disaster and I just wasn't Jack."

"I can see now that it works. She's a good influence on you. Except for the stalking thing…. dude, that wasn't cool."

"Rachel kinda agrees with you there, Hoss. I'm not quite good enough for her baby sister. Got my work cut out with her." Sawyer took a deep breath, his expression turning serious, "Listen, I got another favour to ask. I don't got much at the moment, anything we can contribute towards Kate's trial is Juliet's and I don't want her blowing all her savings on this, she's worked too hard for it. It's her that's pushing for all this. I hate ta ask, but can you loan me the money to cover our share so she doesn't have to? I'll pay you back."

"Don't worry about it, I'll pay for it – all of it."

"The lawyer estimated half a mil at least, are you sure?"

"It's cool, will be a relief to spend it on something worthwhile for a change. Just hope it does some good. Is she guilty?"

"I don't know, man." Sawyer shook his head. "I really don't know. But we've all done much worse." He looked Hurley in the eye and saw reluctant agreement.

#####

Dusk had set in by the time they exited the hotel elevator at their floor.

"But that's just not right!" Juliet proclaimed as she snaked an arm through his and they turned to head in the direction of their room. "We can't just show up, ask for his help and expect him to pay for it all!"

"I'm tellin' ya, he insisted! It's not like he'll miss it if he's as loaded as you say he is. I'd rather he did than you." As they rounded a corner he turned his head to lean his forehead against her temple. "Look, it's been a long day, let's turn in, order a little room-service, see if there's any…" he nuzzled into her neck, planting a kiss behind her ear, "in-house movies…"

"Uh, James," she interrupted, nudging him in the ribs to gain his attention. "Is that someone at our door?" He glanced up to see a shadowy figure, slumped against the wall beside their door, head into arms folded across their knees. Snapping to a defensive posture, he moved in front of Juliet, circling a protective arm back around her as they cautiously approached.

"Can I help you there, bro? Think that's the wrong room ya got." The man stirred and struggled to raise his head. It became apparent he was drunk and had been half asleep. As he sat up the light from the hallway illuminated his face for the first time. Stunned, they both halted their progress towards him. It was Juliet that found her voice first.

"Jack?"


	23. Chapter 23

I can only apologise and beg everyone's forgiveness that it has taken me such a long time to update this. Mostly I just haven't had the time, but in these last few weeks I started another story, **"Like A Thief In The Night"** and what started as a brief flight of fancy has completely sprouted wings of its own and taken over. I should be adding to that shortly too as I literally forced myself to stop writing the next chapter of that until I had finished one of this.

I just hope you can remember just how the hell I got to this point or at the least have the patience to look back and refresh your memory. I would attempt a summary, but I'm not too good at concise and to the point.

Thanks as ever for taking the time to read, and bless those of you that review.

**Chapter 23**

At the sound of his name, Jack struggled to open his eyes and focus on the source of the voice. As the two figures cautiously approached, his blurred vision cleared slightly until he made out the two people he'd waited an age for, bottle of scotch in hand.

"Juliet? That you?" Sawyer gave an audible sigh of resignation.

"It's us. What are you doing here, Jack?" As he spoke, Juliet slipped around him, evading his attempt to halt her progress with his arm and crouched down beside the inebriated surgeon.

"We're here, Jack. What's wrong?" she uttered in soothing tones, laying a hand on his arm in comfort. Sawyer couldn't help but roll his eyes at the sight. Jack swivelled his head round to look at her with bloodshot eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Juliet. So… sorry." He sobbed, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes, breathing against the feeling of sickness rising up from his stomach. Juliet shook his arm slightly in concern.

"Sorry for what? Jack! What is it? Wake up!" Sawyer had come closer and was now standing directly above her, arms folded; partly in concern, partly in irritation at Jack's melodrama and Juliet's willingness to pander to him.

"The bomb. The shaft." Jack stated flatly as his eyes rolled in his head. "It was all my fault. You died. Never should have…" he slurred and tailed off. Juliet raised her head to meet Sawyer's eyes in unspoken realisation. He remembered.

"None of that matters now Jack. I'm fine aren't I? James, help me get him up. We can't stay out here." She moved to raise Jack's dead weight, gripping under one arm and Sawyer stepped forward to take the other. After a slight struggle, they got him into a standing position. Sawyer bore the brunt of his weight while Juliet opened the door to their room and ushered them in. Switching the light on caused Jack's head to spin as Sawyer dragged him across the floor and deposited him into an easy chair. Juliet disappeared into the bathroom, returning a few seconds later with a large glass of water. She looked grimly at Sawyer, before crouching down once more in front of a dozing Jack.

"Jack, I need you to wake up and drink some water. Can you do that for me?" Jack opened his eyes and tried to focus. He managed to nod and take the offered glass of water off her.

"I'm so sorry, I should have listened to you and Sawyer."

"Shhhh. Drink." As she coaxed him to take the water, Sawyer circled round the bed and picked up the phone to call room-service.

"Hi, can I get a large pot of strong coffee sent up? Thanks." He hung up and Juliet approached him, grabbing his elbow to lead him towards the window, out of ear-shot of Jack.

"Well, I think it's safe to say he knows us. He's had far too much to drink though," she whispered, voice still tinged with concern.

"Or maybe he just can't handle his liquor," Sawyer shrugged, causing Juliet to roll her eyes at his childish dig.

"Whatever, we're getting no sense out of him in this state. He needs to sleep it off."

"Great, let's bundle him in a taxi home and call him in the morning." Sawyer moved to head back to the phone, but Juliet halted him with a hand on his arm.

"He can't go anywhere like this!" She struggled to maintain her volume at a whisper, her exasperation at Sawyer's pig-headedness coming through.

"Well he sure as shit ain't staying here with us!" Sawyer in comparison made no effort to keep his voice down. "What do you suggest, Florence?" Juliet narrowed her eyes in thought for a second before heading herself towards the phone, waving off Sawyer's protest.

"Hello. This is Dr Burke in room 415. I'm hoping you could help me. A colleague of mine just dropped by with some files, but he's taken a bit ill. Is there any chance you have a spare room he could take for tonight? ....No he's fine, there's no need for that, he just needs to rest a while…. As close to this room as possible would be great…. Thank you, that's awesome…. It's a Dr Jack Shephard, but if you could bill it to my room, I'll come right down for the key. Thanks again, bye."

She grabbed her own keycard off the bedside table and turned back to Sawyer. "Separate room OK for you? I'll go down and sign for it, make sure he drinks that water and some coffee when it arrives and get him ready to be moved. He's 4 doors down but at least it's on this floor, 423." When Sawyer merely nodded sullenly in response, she looked over to see Jack had fallen asleep again, then reached out and drew him towards her, snaking her arms around his neck.

"Hey, cheer up or I'll make you sleep with him rather than here with me." She smiled and raised her brow suggestively and he reluctantly smiled back down at her in response. "Better." Swiftly closing the space between them, she gave him a quick peck on the lips before trying to release him and step back. He refused to let go though, tightening his grip on her waist.

"Hmmm…. I'll need a bit more encouragement than that if I'm to haul his drunken ass down the corridor," He growled slightly before dipping his head to claim a much deeper kiss. She happily obliged for a brief minute, threading her fingers through his hair to hungrily bring him closer, before a polite rap at the door had her pulling away.

"Hold that thought," she purred huskily while stepping over to the door to open it. She smiled and ushered in the coffee before heading down to the reception.

#####

Sawyer squinted at the words on the page and cursed the fact that he'd forgotten to pick up his glasses on leaving their room. Still, he couldn't be bothered going back for them and made do as he filled in another clue on his crossword. He glanced up at the bedside clock then to the sleeping figure on the bed. It was after 9am and the doc had been sparked out since before 10 the previous night. Sawyer was starting to think he'd be on babysitting duty all day at this rate. He still wasn't entirely sure how he ended up stuck here with sleeping beauty whilst Juliet had gone for a run.

The sheets rustled and Sawyer looked over to see Jack starting to stir. _Finally_ he thought as he put his paper down on the armrest and leaned forward in his seat, curious as to what the doc's reaction would be. He watched as Jack brought his arm up to cover his eyes before stretching it up above him. His eyes blinked open and he stared at the ceiling in confusion for a few seconds before looking about the room. On turning his head to the side, his gaze connected with Sawyer's, who breathed a sight sigh of relief as recognition dawned in the other man's face. Before Jack could find his voice, he wordlessly reached out, picked up the phone and dialled. As the ringing continued, he started to wonder if she still wasn't back yet and was about to hang up when she eventually breathlessly answered.

"Sorry! Just got out of the shower and had to run for it."

It took all his willpower to halt his mind from dwelling on that image, instead settling on a simple: "He's awake."

"OK. Gimme five. Don't kill him," she quipped before hanging up.

Sawyer returned the receiver and looked back warily at Jack, who had by now managed to pull himself into a sitting position and was chugging the contents of a glass of water he'd found nearby.

"Where am I?" He asked once it was drained.

"Crowne Plaza." Jack nodded and looked about some more, obviously still confused. Sawyer took pity on him and continued, "There was no getting you home after you turned up after a skinfull of Scotch. Decided it was best just to get you another room."

"Have you…" He croaked and coughed to clear his throat, "Have you been there all night?" Sawyer released a short bark of laughter in response.

"Hell no! Jules posted me here an hour or so ago. Good thing for you the crossword is particularly tricky this morning," He motioned to his newspaper.

"Juliet." Jack repeated softly, in a tone that Sawyer didn't particularly care for.

"Yeah," he sneered, "I take it from your timely visit last night, you now recognise us?"

"I came to apologise." Jack raked a hand over his face and rose to pick up his discarded jeans from a chair. He raised them questioningly and looked back at Sawyer.

"Sorry to disappoint, but it was me that had that pleasure, doc." Jack smirked slightly and shook his head before pulling them on. "And we got the apology by the way, sorry was about the only sense y'all were makin'." Jack nodded silently, processing this as he made his way to the bathroom and threw some cold water on his face. As he was doing so, there was a knock at the door and Sawyer quickly opened it to allow Juliet in, her tied back hair still wet from the shower.

She grinned slightly on seeing him and reached forward to slip his glasses into his breast pocket before patting it. He quickly reached up to grab her hand in his, keeping it in place on his chest and smiled back at her.

"Thought you'd be needing those old timer." Her grin sobered as she looked over his shoulder, sliding her hand from his grip. Sawyer looked round to see that Jack had emerged from the bathroom and was silently watching their interaction.

"Jack?" She questioned softly and moved towards him slightly. "How are you feeling?" He shrugged and looked down sheepishly at his feet, before back up to meet her concerned gaze.

"I'll live. Sorry for showing up like that. And I'm so sorry for…" he trailed off, unsure how to voice the shame he felt.

"Yeah, we kinda covered that last night. Enough OK? I'm fine, we both are." She looked back to briefly catch Sawyer's eye, looking for his support. He nodded silently and she turned once more towards Jack, smiling encouragingly at him, like he was a small child. Neither of them were entirely sure what to expect here. Jack also nodded in acquiescence.

"Thank you." He mumbled.

Sawyer moved away from the door and motioned for them all to sit. He returned to his chair and Juliet perched on the arm. He let his hand rest on the small of her back, finding comfort in the contact. Jack moved to sit back down on the bed and silence reigned for a short period as they all wondered just how to start.

"So… how did you remember?" Sawyer eventually ventured.

"Well… I guess it was a mixture of Kate and alcohol. I just couldn't get what you'd told me out of my head. You really freaked me out, I have to admit. I cancelled my surgeries yesterday and just sat at home trying to find out as much as I could about her on the internet. The more I drank and the more I read and saw, the more I started to feel like you were telling the truth. It got a bit blurry, but at one point I took a shower. I slipped and hit my head on the tiles as I fell. I guess I blacked out and when I came round, I just… remembered. So I came to find you guys." He finished with a shake of his head, still not quite believing all that had happened in the last 48 hours.

Sawyer sat back and distractedly drew lazy circles with his palm on Juliet's back as he contemplated Jack's words, not really sure what to say. They still weren't any closer in figuring out just what made them all remember. She shifted slightly and turned to look at him and he could tell her thoughts mirrored his. Jack cleared his throat somewhat nervously to regain their attention.

"So. What are we going to do to get her out?"


End file.
